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  Old  September 20th, 2008, 10:01am     #1
susan1215 is offline
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Do the majority of men who leave their wives do it for another women?
Thats kind of what it seems like. I don't feel men like to be alone that's why it seems like when they leave their wives it's usually because another women is involved and they don't just leave because they they aren't happy like a lot of women do. Some men don't like to be alone so much that if there wive does leave them then they kill her so she won't be with anyone else. The majority of men who have killed their wives seemed to be having an affair and didn't want to go through a messy divorce and loose money and/or kids. That's in rare cases but it happens. I know women leave their husbands too for other men but the women I have know who wanted a divorce was because they just weren't happy not because they had met someone else and once they were alone enjoyed it.
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  Old  September 20th, 2008, 10:09am     #2
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I think most meet other women because they are unhappy. I agree with you though.
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  Old  September 20th, 2008, 10:24am     #3
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Most of the men that I know that have left their wives have done it because of another woman. I don't think that they started the affair looking to find love or someone to leave the wife for. I just think that they find someone that makes them happy so they leave to be with that person. JMHO.

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  Old  September 20th, 2008, 10:37am     #4
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A man almost always has another woman (or sometimes another man) before he leaves. But when women leave it is not often the case. I read a study about this once, but can't say where or when, was a long time ago.
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  Old  September 20th, 2008, 10:38am     #5
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my bil left his ex wife because she wasn't taking care of the kids when he was at work, and she started using drugs.

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  Old  September 20th, 2008, 10:48am     #6
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I think they leave because they think the "other" woman will make them happier. They don't realize that everyone in marriage WILL have problems sooner or later. It also works for the ladies too. My ex was told by our neighbor lady "oh we NEVER fight," and she believed it. When we started having problems in our marriage, my ex bailed, right away. She has come back numerous times (and turned away) and has been married (to a great guy) and divorced (same thing, ran when things didn't run smooth) and has been currently thrown out of her newest boyfriends house. I think a lot of people aren't taught how to face problems. And to answer your question,,, no, the majority of guys WILL commit to the right lady. We will not yank you around, we will tell you the truth, we will treat you as if we are the luckiest guy around, we will honor you, we are not in the bars, we are at home, taking care of our kids and family. We have values we uphold.
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  Old  September 20th, 2008, 10:59am     #7
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My husband has a saying about this:

The grass might be greener on the other side of the fence, but it still needs mowing.

As you slide down the banister of life, may
the splinters never point the wrong way.
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  Old  September 20th, 2008, 11:01am     #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Txsweeper View Post
My husband has a saying about this:

The grass might be greener on the other side of the fence, but it still needs mowing.
Lol- I like that...

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  Old  September 20th, 2008, 11:25am     #9
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From what I've seen this tends to be the case, sadly, most of the time.

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  Old  September 20th, 2008, 11:26am     #10
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There was a study about 10-15 years ago in the NY times. In order of most happy: married men, single women, single men, and then at the bottom married women. IMO When people are in a committed relationship the women tends to care for the man. In the beginning she does it happily and it's her pleasure but after a number of years and if children have entered the picture it is harder to do. He then doesn't feel as cared for and starts looking for someone to care for him and starts the cycle all over again. Of course this is changing SLOWLY!! I have also heard about some relationships that the man spoils the woman and she eats bon-bons all day. I buy the bon-bons and the boy eats them!! He always leaves me one...
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  Old  September 20th, 2008, 11:28am     #11
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I think mens affairs have little to do with their wives and a lot to do with their ego and self image. they like having their cake and eating it too. and get away with it. but when caught and cornered. they blame the wife... again to pamper their ego and self image. in some cases it is they lost love for the spouse and find it with someone else. I have seen it happen many times working in the public , and seen men that have :the other woman " dangling for years. some wives suspected - some wives were trusting and very busy with kids and household and their own job so they could have a big house and a richer lifestyle. some marriages lasted through others didn't.

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  Old  September 20th, 2008, 12:06pm     #12
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I brought up the topic because I'm reading a book where a Dr. surveyed married men who had cheated. Most say they liked how the other women made them feel and that they were not prettier than their wives. It is an ego thing, someone is showing them attention and their wives are busy with everyday life like work, kids, money and she doesn't have the time to show his continueous attention the the other women can. Most men lie about it and will not admit to an affair unless caught in the act. Most wives will never know that their husband had cheated. Most men meet these women at work, so that hasn't changed but with more women working I think that has lead to the increase in affairs.

Like Dr. Phil says if they will cheat with you they will cheat on you and if the man does leave his wife for this women the odds are it will not work out once you get everyday life into the picture and then add an ex-wife and stepchildren, money problems, she isn't showering him with all that attention anymore the grass isn't looking so green.

I think it's sad that a lot of times men who do leave thier wives leave their children too. I have seen a lot of strained realationships between Dads and kids because of another women. Your kids will always be your kids but odds are the other women will not be there forever.
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  Old  September 20th, 2008, 12:16pm     #13
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a lot of generalizing & stereotyping going on. I think the reasons and who does the cheating and leaving, might be a lot closer than you would expect between the spouses. Really think about it...if you took all the people and the stories that "you know", how many would it truly be? And what percentage would that be with respect to all the people in this world? I don't know about others, but it gets under my skin when people with no real data make such bold statements, irregardless of whether it's presented as just an opinion or not.
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  Old  September 20th, 2008, 12:31pm     #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brikar View Post
a lot of generalizing & stereotyping going on. I think the reasons and who does the cheating and leaving, might be a lot closer than you would expect between the spouses. Really think about it...if you took all the people and the stories that "you know", how many would it truly be? And what percentage would that be with respect to all the people in this world? I don't know about others, but it gets under my skin when people with no real data make such bold statements, irregardless of whether it's presented as just an opinion or not.
What data are you looking for? How many men leave for other women?
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  Old  September 20th, 2008, 12:38pm     #15
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My 2nd husband left me when I was very ill and undergoing my first round of intereferon (like chemo) treatment. He also cleaned out the bank account. I was at the hospital getting a PET scan and came home to find him gone. It wasn't another woman. He just couldn't handle me being sick.

I think that I would have handled it better if he had left me for another woman.

There's a special place in hell waiting for him.


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