County seeks Klingon interpreter

http://www.msnbc.com/news/911996.asp?0cv=CB20

Ore. health service needs help with ‘Star Trek’ language

ASSOCIATED PRESS

PORTLAND, Ore., May 10 — Position Available: Interpreter, must be fluent in Klingon. The language created for the “Star Trek” TV series and movies is one of about 55 needed by the office that treats mental health patients in metropolitan Multnomah County.

“WE HAVE to provide information in all the languages our clients speak,” said Jerry Jelusich, a procurement specialist for the county Department of Human Services, which serves about 60,000 mental health clients.
Although created for works of fiction, Klingon was designed to have a consistent grammar, syntax and vocabulary.
And now Multnomah County research has found that many people — and not just fans — consider it a complete language.
“There are some cases where we’ve had mental health patients where this was all they would speak,” said the county’s purchasing administrator, Franna Hathaway.
County officials said that obligates them to respond with a Klingon-English interpreter, putting the language of starship Enterprise officer Worf and other Klingon characters on a par with common languages such as Russian and Vietnamese, and less common tongues including Dari and Tongan.

:eek: There are more people that speak Klingon than speak Navajo :eek:

Unbelievable!!!!:eek:

I actually used to know a couple guys that spoke Klingon. I think my bro-in-law still does!:shhh: I always thought it was pretty silly, I had no idea it was a job qualification!:laugh: :laugh:

I thought this was just a joke - who knew it would be funnier in real life:

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From the Onion:

"Don't Come Crying to Me when You Need Someone Who Speaks Elvish"

Really, Steven. Of all people, I expected more from you.

Until now, I was greatly impressed by your intellectual curiosity. Aren't you, after all, the person with whom I once had a three-hour message-board conversation concerning the story arc of the legendary series Blake's 7? Was it not you who listened attentively to my passionate argument in favor of allowing Commissioner Gordon's daughter Barbara to rise from her wheelchair and walk again? And are you not the same person who, once I guided you to the myriad shifting universes of Roger Zelazny, devoured them with the intellectual curiosity of a young Ender Wiggin?

Such a thirst for knowledge I once saw in you. And yet now, you question whether learning Elvish is "worth the effort." Elvish! At once the cornerstone and most elusive of the great J.R.R. Tolkien's creations!

To be intimidated by the fact that mastery of Elvish takes a lifetime—that I can comprehend. But for you to question its usefulness or intrinsic value, Steven, how could you? I tell you now: Do not come crying to me when you need someone who speaks Elvish.

In all honesty, I do not see why you would shy from this challenge. No, it is not easy, but you had already made some inroads. You recognized the essential difference between the Cirth "runes" of Balin's tomb and the Tengwar "letters" corrupted by Sauron upon the One Ring—so basic and fundamental a difference that many students overlook it, to their later dismay. And, although I feel the high-elven dialect of Quenya would have given you trouble and Valarin, the tongue of the Valar, would likely forever elude your grasp, I thought you certainly capable of one day becoming conversant—if not fluent—in Sindarin. But it was not to be, for you, like Radagast The Brown, have chosen the path of blissful ignorance. In so doing, you turn your back on the riches of the world.

Frankly, Steven, given your current level of engagement, I'd be surprised if you could be bothered to study a crude, simple language like Klingon, with its guttural consonants and inelegant constructions.

You might think this harsh, but need I mention which of us once ran out into a freezing parking lot to obtain the autograph of John de Lancie? I know I'd promised to not bring it up again, but you seem to need reminding.

How long has it been since I lent you my copy of Tolkien's The Lost Road, which contains both his indispensable "Lhammas" and the utterly seminal "Etymologies"? Were these not enough to whet your appetite for Elvish languages? Perhaps I should not have even bothered: If Appendix F of Return Of The King did not light a fire within you, further encouragement was probably a fool's errand. But I will need those back soon (seeing as you seem to have no further use for them), along with my three-CD box set of The Shadow radio broadcasts and Tracy Scoggins workout video, at your earliest convenience.

Oh, and one other thing. As disappointed as I am, I would be crestfallen if I were to find out that the ProtoBaggins77 who's been posting lately on the Final Fantasy X board at GameFAQs is you. If you absolutely must go down that road, my former companion, I wish you would have at least chosen the superior FFVII, if not IV. At least then, I would know you were not beyond all hope.

Farewell, Steven. Perhaps one day, I will be able to greet you by saying "Elen Sila lumenn' omentielvo!" But assuming that doesn't happen, I would ask that you please drop off my stuff at the library's tech-help desk any time I'm not working.

County calls off job for Klingon interpreter

The Associated Press
5/12/03 10:48 PM


PORTLAND, Ore. (AP) -- Sorry, potential Klingon interpreters.

Multnomah County officials have said they won't be needing your services, after all.

The office that treats county mental health patients had included Klingon on a list of 55 languages that could be spoken by incoming patients.

But the inclusion of the Star Trek language drew a spate of tongue-in-cheek headlines.

And now the county has rescinded its call, stressing that it hasn't spent a penny of public money on Klingon interpretation.

"Certainly, the idea that Klingon is on a list of languages that our safety net services might have to translate sounds absurd and about as far out as you can get," Multnomah County chair Diane Linn said in a press release. "It was a mistake, and a result of an overzealous attempt to ensure that our safety net systems can respond to all customers and clients."

County officials had previously said that no patient had ever come in speaking only Klingon, and that the county would pay a Klingon interpreter in the unlikely case he or she was actually called into service.

In recent years, Klingon has gone from being a fictional tongue to a complete language, with its own grammar, syntax and vocabulary.

Copyright 2003 Associated Press. All rights reserved.


:grin3: