Lame excuses

What are some of the dumbest and most lame excuses that you have ever heard anyone use? The funnier the better. Thanks

"I can't come into work today because I have a hangover"

an actual phone message

"i thought it was sunday".-from a manager no less that came in 4 hours late to work.

One time at my DH job a coworker actually called in and said they had stayed up to late playing on the internet...and this is a computer dept..

When I was a supervisor at UPS, one of my employees came in an hour late for a 3-hour shift on Monday. He said he'd forgotten to change his clocks for daylight savings on Sunday, but if that were true, he actually would have been to work an hour EARLY!

Another guy just wouldn't show up to work half the time. I told him, "I need a commitment from you that you will be here every day. Can you give me that?" He said he didn't think he could commit to that, and it was his last day working there.

Originally Posted by tupik3702 I hit your car because you were in my way!!!

Somewhat similar:
My husband was sitting at a red light, and was changing the station on the radio while he waited. The light turned green, and my husband didn't move right away. A car came up behind him and plowed into him. (It was 2am, and the guy was obviously snockered) In court, the guy's excuse for hitting my husband was "Well, the light was GREEN!"

A co-worker called in sick for the next morning advising she ate a bad DQ. Is there such a thing?

my DH had an employee call in sick for his in the hospital, then the funeral then the reading of the will........... normal huh yeah then 4 months later he called in sick for his mother's funeral again opps forgot he used that one