Old  November 24th, 2019, 9:27am     #1486
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Originally Posted by duknuk View Post
Bizarro by Dan Piraro

11/24/19



I bring you Greetings from Walmart
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  Old  November 25th, 2019, 7:39am     #1487
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....duknuk's chicks are here!
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  Old  November 27th, 2019, 3:08am     #1488
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  Old  December 6th, 2019, 8:34pm     #1489
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A fellow goes to see his Rabbi to discuss something that’s bothering him.

The Rabbi asks, “what is bothering you, Benjamin?”

“Well, Rabbi, during the war I lived in Germany. I wanted to hide the fact that I’m Jewish and changed my last name from Rabinowitz to Schmidt.”

The Rabbi says, “perfectly understandable. You wanted to survive.”

“No, Rabbi, that’s not it. I also took in a young Jewish girl and hid her from the Nazi’s.”

The Rabbi says, “That’s a good thing, Benny. You saved a life.”

“No, no, Rabbi, that’s not it either. I saved her on condition she would give me oral sex.”

The Rabbi says, “No one is perfect. I understand the circumstances.”

Ben says, “Rabbi, that’s not it either.”

“Well then, what is the problem, Ben?”

“I haven’t told her the war is over.”

....duknuk's chicks are here!
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  Old  April 28th, 2020, 8:34am     #1490
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The cable repairman was on my street and asked me what time it was.
I told him it was between 1:00 pm and 4:00 pm.


~~~~


(Many of the visual image jokes I post at the place I'm frequenting now, do not display properly here, so that's why there aren't as many.)

....duknuk's chicks are here!
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  Old  May 3rd, 2020, 10:50pm     #1491
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Hee hee

I cried because I had no shoes. Then I met a man who had no feet

Persian Proverb
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  Old  May 8th, 2020, 7:51am     #1492
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Hee hee
Really funny
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  Old  May 23rd, 2020, 12:50am     #1493
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Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night.. The waiter came and took their drink order. 'I would like a Sprite,' said the first little piggy. 'I would like a Coke,' said the second little piggy. 'I want beer, lots and lots of beer,' said the third little piggy.

The drinks were brought out and the waiter took their orders for dinner 'I want a nice big steak,' said the first piggy.. 'I would like the salad plate,' said the second piggy. 'I want beer, lots and lots of beer,' said the third little piggy.

The meals were brought out and a while later the waiter approached the table and asked if the piggies would like any dessert. 'I want a banana split,' said the first piggy. 'I want a cheesecake,' said the second piggy. 'I want beer, lots and lots of beer,' exclaimed the third little piggy.

'Pardon me for asking,' said the waiter to the third little piggy,' But why have you only ordered beer all evening?' The third piggy says - 'Well, somebody has to go 'Wee, wee, wee, all the way home.

‎"A keen sense of humor helps us to overlook the unbecoming, understand the unconventional, tolerate the unpleasant, overcome the unexpected and outlast the unbearable." ~ Billy Graham
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  Old  June 18th, 2020, 5:17am     #1494
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I also had a memorable experience of getting an expensive ring, high five! My purchase was a 3-carat diamond ring. The price was so high that I even decided to forget how much I paid for it! What I remember better is the amount of time spent searching for it and selecting the best deal among numerous competitors, getting
GIA certificates, picking the best ratio of diamond 4 Cís... In my case, the most convincing argument was this article https://www.diamondregistry.com/3-carat-diamond-price/. Maybe it can help you too!
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  Old  June 18th, 2020, 5:38am     #1495
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Phillips spam reported

I cried because I had no shoes. Then I met a man who had no feet

Persian Proverb
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  Old  July 6th, 2020, 3:27am     #1496
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Q: If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?
Q: If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?

A: Big hands

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  Old  July 6th, 2020, 7:06am     #1497
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reported jacksalvator

Our task must be to free ourselves...by widening our circle of compassion
to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty.


Albert Einstein
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  Old  July 9th, 2020, 3:41pm     #1498
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What kind of exercise do lazy people do?

Diddly-squats.
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