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  Old  October 21st, 2017, 12:16am     #1
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Major life change event-long but need some advice
My Father passed almost 6 months ago. His will left everything to my baby brother. He is very successful, married and owns a house in another state. My dad had married a woman with 8 children. She passed years ago. My dad did adopt 3 of her kids. Some of her kids had and still mooch off of my Dad- one still lives in his house and has never paid a dime towards anything.

This gal actually drove his car to go to her part time job while he was alive, but was never insured to drive. She admitted to my baby brother that she took money out of his wallet when he died because "she needed some things" He was dead in his bed and she did this. She knew that my brother was included in his bank account and it would come out that money was missing. I'm disgusted that she did this. After his death, my brother told her that she could not drive the car since she was not insured and the car was not in her name. We all agreed that she could have the car when she could pay to put it in her name and have insurance in her name. Before my father's death, the car was damaged while she was in possession of it-not insured-She blamed the damage on her boss backing into the car and damaging the front bumper and assured everyone that her boss's husband has a bumper to replace it. To this day the bumper has not been fixed. I went over one weekend to take her to grocery shop and the car was not in the driveway. She had drove it against what she should have done and illegally. She showed no remorse.

With all this being said: my brother, who was willed everything wants my dad's house to stay in the family. He has been on my Dad's bank account for over ten years. He knows that no one else has paid anything but mooched off of my dad. He has asked me to consider moving into the house. Well of course this is a sweet deal because the house is paid for. Utilities and insurance and taxes. The mooch "sister" is still there with her 18 yr old son and dog. They have not paid a dime to live there in over a year. He tells me that they will have to pay half the bills due to it being her and her 18 yr old son.

I've already contacted utility companies to make the transition. I told my brother that she should pay half of the connect fees and he agrees. The problem is my oldest brother has lived there since my stepmother died about 6 years ago. He also has not paid anything in the last 6 years so he feels "connected" with the step sister?? I "get" why my brother has been there, stepmother dies and he is looking out for dad. What really gets me is the fact that he knows what a POS she is and defends her anyway. I guess he no kahunas.

I plan on having ALL the utilities in my name in the next couple of weeks. Here is the deal: my brother has no balls. This gal has no way to pay for her and her son's share. Sorry. I have no sympathy!! There are two dogs that live there. My cat is not welcomed. I have rehomed him to a better family with 3 kids to play with. Yes, Pissed !

I'm making sure all the bills are in my name because she has been such a leach that it will be easier to evict her.

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  Old  October 21st, 2017, 4:05am     #2
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He should give her an eviction notice before you change the utilities into your name. And have her gone before you move in. Also is your older brother going to still live there once you move in? If so, how well do you think you will get along?

If you do end up moving in with your brother, there should be a written agreement spelling out the terms of living there. Pretty much who does what around the house, how much $ you each will pay toward the bills etc.. This is for your protection and so no one person gets stuck with all the chores and/or bills. Treat it as a roommate contract.

Living with adult family members can be difficult, so be prepared. Personally I will never be able to live with my Sis as she is a hoarder, does not pay bills on time, won't clean anything, and can't keep to a budget.

Wishing you luck in you new home and getting things/people squared away!
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  Old  October 21st, 2017, 5:38am     #3
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Originally Posted by CalicoGirl View Post
He should give her an eviction notice before you change the utilities into your name. And have her gone before you move in. Also is your older brother going to still live there once you move in? If so, how well do you think you will get along?

If you do end up moving in with your brother, there should be a written agreement spelling out the terms of living there. Pretty much who does what around the house, how much $ you each will pay toward the bills etc.. This is for your protection and so no one person gets stuck with all the chores and/or bills. Treat it as a roommate contract.

Living with adult family members can be difficult, so be prepared. Personally I will never be able to live with my Sis as she is a hoarder, does not pay bills on time, won't clean anything, and can't keep to a budget.

Wishing you luck in you new home and getting things/people squared away!
I'm with Calico Girl
Get the buggers out of there.
Does the brother that inherited the property have a vested interest in wanting you there to manage the other residents?

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  Old  October 21st, 2017, 10:32am     #4
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So your brother is OK with the you, your stepsister and her child, and your brother living in his house rent-free.

I don't see how you can evict someone unless there is a contract requiring them to pay and they don't pay.

If the utilities are entirely in your name, this IMO weakens the case that the others can be evicted. However, it is the right thing to do since you don't want the utilities cut off for nonpayment, which is what will happen.

If your brother who inherited the property will not evict the stepsister now, I think you are in a difficult to impossible situation b/c the stepsister will continue to not pay anything and since you are not the owner there is nothing you can do about it.

The owner brother needs to write up a rental agreement showing how much the stepsister needs to pay, and payment must go to him not you so you are not part of the mooch problem.

I think you have to give up on the eviction idea, stake your claim on your room, pay the house utilities plus any other part of "your half", and make the best of it.

Last edited by cgroverla; October 21st, 2017 at 10:35am. Reason: update
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  Old  October 21st, 2017, 10:56am     #5
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WOW I think I would have said no to moving in with other family members. Tell brother the easiest thing for all would be to sell the property and divide the estate up according to dad's will.
If that's not an option I would pay 'rent' to brother in charge of the estate and let him handle all the bills.

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  Old  October 21st, 2017, 11:05am     #6
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Have a Sheldon Cooper (from "Big Bang Theory") roommates agreement lol.

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  Old  October 21st, 2017, 11:53am     #7
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If it were me I would not agree to this. You gave up your cat and your going to be dealing with these freeloaders, I'd never do that.



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  Old  October 21st, 2017, 1:16pm     #8
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I'm sorry to hear about the death of your Dad. And, this big mess. If this is in Louisiana, I do know that LA law is quite different than other states'. (I know basically nothing about their law!) Please contact an estate attorney. In most states, the wife cannot be disinherited (but kids can be). As I'm sure you know, adoption is equal to blood born children.

In any case, paying an attorney and not dealing with these people is going to be worth it, one million times.

I can tell you, as an attorney myself, and I just recently lost my son, having our attorney deal with our grandson's mother rather than doing it ourselves is worth whatever it is going to cost.

Good luck--so terrible to deal with.

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  Old  October 21st, 2017, 1:38pm     #9
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This is a horrible situation and you taking over the bills and moving into the house is only going to make it worse.

How can you refer to this as a "sweet deal"?

Why should they pay anything? (sarcasm) They never have before and probably, going by what you have said, have no capacity to pay. Simply telling them they have to do it is useless. They are in place and right now in charge.

I would not move in, and I would not put the utilities in my name.

You will have no control of the situation and you are in the minority.

Talk to a lawyer, save yourself time, money and stress.
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  Old  October 21st, 2017, 2:25pm     #10
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Originally Posted by sallykay View Post
I'm sorry to hear about the death of your Dad. And, this big mess. If this is in Louisiana, I do know that LA law is quite different than other states'. (I know basically nothing about their law!) Please contact an estate attorney. In most states, the wife cannot be disinherited (but kids can be). As I'm sure you know, adoption is equal to blood born children.

In any case, paying an attorney and not dealing with these people is going to be worth it, one million times.

I can tell you, as an attorney myself, and I just recently lost my son, having our attorney deal with our grandson's mother rather than doing it ourselves is worth whatever it is going to cost.

Good luck--so terrible to deal with.
I agree 100% .. it is very difficult to make "deals" that really work and then try to get the things done legally as an afterthought.

Eviction is difficult enough with non-family in states.. I can imagine it would be worse with family... especially those who have already been living there.

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  Old  October 21st, 2017, 3:33pm     #11
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My brother called me this morning. He wanted the other two to put bills in their name as well. I told him that she probably owes the utility companies money from her last place. I also reminded him that the brother living there will be going back to work out of state and be gone months on end. He is not going to charge rent to any of us, the house is paid for.

He told me that he told the other brother that I was the most responsible person out of the bunch. I also let him know that if she does have any bill in her name it would be harder to evict her. He said he did not think of that and now thinks me having all the utilities in my name is the best way to go.

I am moving to a safer neighborhood. A few weeks ago my upstairs neighbor shot a man in the face and the victim's family came at midnight and opened fire on the house. There are windows shot out, thankfully no one was hurt. This is the second time I have lived in a house in this neighborhood that the house was shot upon due to other neighbors issues.

I will put a lock on my bedroom door since I have no reason to trust the stepsister. Hopefully she will find her another place to live because I don't see how she will afford to pay half the bills.
Thank you all for your advice.

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  Old  October 21st, 2017, 3:35pm     #12
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Have a Sheldon Cooper (from "Big Bang Theory") roommates agreement lol.
Love it!!

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  Old  October 21st, 2017, 4:07pm     #13
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they need to go in light of the fact that she is an admitted thief. Evict,

Move in and get your cat back.

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  Old  October 21st, 2017, 4:36pm     #14
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they need to go in light of the fact that she is an admitted thief. Evict,

Move in and get your cat back.
I think only the brother can evict the stepsister. SWEEPMAMA is being put in the position of being the warden. I understand that she feels this will be more safe than where she is now and she doesn't want to "look a gift horse in the mouth." Putting her big girl boots on and standing up to her brother may not feel right to her.

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  Old  October 21st, 2017, 5:44pm     #15
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Originally Posted by sweepmama View Post
My brother called me this morning. He wanted the other two to put bills in their name as well. I told him that she probably owes the utility companies money from her last place. I also reminded him that the brother living there will be going back to work out of state and be gone months on end. He is not going to charge rent to any of us, the house is paid for.

He told me that he told the other brother that I was the most responsible person out of the bunch. I also let him know that if she does have any bill in her name it would be harder to evict her. He said he did not think of that and now thinks me having all the utilities in my name is the best way to go.

I am moving to a safer neighborhood. A few weeks ago my upstairs neighbor shot a man in the face and the victim's family came at midnight and opened fire on the house. There are windows shot out, thankfully no one was hurt. This is the second time I have lived in a house in this neighborhood that the house was shot upon due to other neighbors issues.

I will put a lock on my bedroom door since I have no reason to trust the stepsister. Hopefully she will find her another place to live because I don't see how she will afford to pay half the bills.
Thank you all for your advice.
While I understand your desire to put a lock on your bedroom door, be aware that this rarely stops people... I had locked a closet in my parent's home when we rented it out... only to come back and find the door broken by tenants to get into it... sadly, I'd say you may well find the same thing, particularly with inside door as they are usually hollow core and not substantial/designed to be secure.
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