Old  December 17th, 2016, 11:32pm     #1
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Foster/Adopt?
Does anyone here have experience adopting from foster care? My husband and I became certified foster parents in California this year solely in order to adopt and are waiting for a "match." We do not/not want to adopt only a healthy white infant, but are interested in adopting older kids. We are open to boys or girls, sibling sets, minorities, and LGBT adolescents. We have no kids, and are a healthy couple with two good, reliable incomes. We thought we would be matched about five seconds after we became certified given the great need for adoptive families for older children in foster care but we're getting crickets from our social worker. We've reached out about a few specific children and their workers also simply don't respond. Has anyone else been through this? I know that foster care is about finding the right parents for the children, and not the other way around, but it's weird to me that the social workers don't seem to feel any sense of urgency in getting these kids permanent placements. Even if they think we wouldn't be a good fit, it would be nice to know. We really wanted to give our kid(s) a great Christmas.

Last edited by keeks; December 19th, 2016 at 12:02am.

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  Old  December 18th, 2016, 12:47am     #2
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On Thursday, I get to witness the official adoption hearing for my soon to legally be my niece and nephew. My brother and sister-in-law did the foster to adopt program in the bay area and it has been a long process for them. Even after they were certified, it took months. The wild part of it all was that when they were notified, they got the siblings within 12 hours. They went from 0-60 really quick and scrambled to get everything they needed since the poor kiddos had so little. They are ages 2 and 3.

It seemed to take forever initially and then it happened within 24 hours. Hope it works out for you and thank you for opening your home. You are right! So many kids need it!

Maria
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  Old  December 18th, 2016, 1:24pm     #3
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I am a licensed foster home here in Kansas City Missouri.

Its harder than some think to become licensed as there are lots of classes and hoops to get thru.

I became "kinship" licensed when my daughter passed away leaving us her now 3 yr old daughter...We "HAD TO" become licensed to keep her in our home. We are in process of adopting her but bio daddy had been making it a mess even though he is not involved in her life at all an cant stay out of jail or drug free.

When the adoption is final we can stay a licensed home if I wanna take in other children...not sure at his point. We do receive a state "maintanence" fee check every month but not nearly what it cost to maintain as they say a child but it helps. After adoption we will still receive a check until she is 19 yrs old.

I applaud you LOUDLY for considering an older child. Please consider taking in any child you can right now as you never know which one is gonna be that perfect fit for your family...loving every child is different. Thank you for being a foster/adopt home!

NOT ONE PERSON IS PERFECT...WE ARE ALL FLAWED IN SOME WAY
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  Old  December 19th, 2016, 12:01am     #4
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Thanks guys. We are licensed/certified, but cannot really purely foster anyone because we are leaving California within the next year, and the kid(s) would have to move again if things weren't resolved by the time we leave. We are "match only" (i.e. just adopting kids whose parental rights have already been or are about to be terminated). And yes, we told everyone this going in, that we were on a timeline and needed to adopt as quickly as legally possible, and they all told us it could be done. My husband and I work generally work overseas - we came back to the U.S. specifically to adopt and thought we could do it within two years - and he leaves this summer. I am going to stay a few extra months to be safe but it gets tighter every day. Honestly, it's not the end of the world for us if we don't adopt, but it's infuriating that a kiddo or two spend(s) one more day in foster care than they need to.

Also, mamafairal, I'm sorry about your daughter - I can't imagine how hard that is - but I'm glad you are able to be there for your granddaughter. And sorry too about biodad - we are open to keeping healthy ties with the bio parents of our adopted kids (if that ever happens), but we know it is so, so messy.

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  Old  December 30th, 2016, 11:28pm     #5
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Thank you Keeks

I was willing to work with the bio donor...but no way now.

We have decided to change her name.... last name anyways to her Mothers last name next month when we go to trial for adoption. Its just a waiting game now.

I have had her since her first breath as she was born incarcerated...so we are all she really knows. She did know her mama and we ALL miss her terrible everyday

Will you look into becoming licensed after your move?

NOT ONE PERSON IS PERFECT...WE ARE ALL FLAWED IN SOME WAY
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