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  Old  August 12th, 2017, 12:22pm     #16
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I get what you're saying, I really do. And I used to let things like this bother me. I used to worry that when I passed from this Earth, if anyone would really miss me or be sad. It even extended to my own children. It was truly a messed up way of thinking and it would be depressing as hell if and when I allowed myself to dwell of that kind of thinking.

But as I have grown older ( and wiser ), I have come to realize a few things that had been lost on me. And quite frankly, it changed my life and has allowed me to live a happier & saner life now.

The first thing that I did was to break the cycle of even caring about whether or not I mattered to anyone. I lived the first 50 years for my children and grandchildren and have given them my all. Of course I matter to them. And when I pass away, they indeed will be sad about the loss. They will miss me for a short while and then I will become nothing more than a good memory. Life goes on, as you said, and I would hate the idea of them being devastated by the loss and for them to let it negatively affect their lives. And I'm okay with that. It's what I wish for them.

As far as everyday people that I meet, I have no unrealistic beliefs of my worth to them. While I try very hard to be a good person and have a positive affect on the people that I meet and come in contact with, my worth is not tied up in whether or not that I 'matter' to them. My worth is tied up on how I have lived my life and the value that I place on it, not what others place on it.

Lastly, I may never know who I mattered to in this life. Was it the woman with three children who came up short on her grocery bill in the check-out lane in front of me that was going to have to put back some of her groceries that I paid her total? Was it the garbage men that I would greet with ice cold bottle of waters when they picked up by garbage? Was it the total stranger who dropped their stack of papers that I helped bend down and pick up as everyone else walked by oblivious to their plight? Or perhaps the total stranger who was having a bad day that I extended kind and encouraging words to? I may never really know who I mattered to and I just do not worry about it. I just live my life as I want to and do the good things whenever I can because you just never know if that small kind gesture will have a positive and long-lasting effect on someone else's life.

Don't sweat the small stuff like mattering. Just be positive and kind to those that you come in contact with every day. And put your worth into yourself and not in whether or not you 'matter' to people.

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  Old  August 12th, 2017, 12:48pm     #17
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Very well written response, Glo!

It mattered to me, for what it's worth.
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  Old  August 12th, 2017, 2:04pm     #18
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The saddest thing I've come to realize is that I don't come first with anyone.

So Many Books; So Little Time!
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  Old  August 12th, 2017, 7:30pm     #19
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Yeah
My realization is that so very very many people don't care about things that don't impact them directly. For instance, I have friends and acquaintances who show no concern abiout Charlottesville. They don't care about the national political situation until it effects THEM personally, and maybe their spouse and children. All the kids in the country could go to bed hungry and as long as the person has money in the bank, they don't blink an eye.

Another thing I realized when I retired. Doesn't matter how good you are at your job and how much you care. When you leave and can no longer do anything for that person, that person wants nothing to do with you. I worked 40 years for a federal agency, loved my job, knowing I did a good job and made a difference in some good way is what I worked for so them forgetting about me is not the end of the world. Just sad. Once I know someone I never forget them.

I understand that everyone is not like me though and that doesn't make them bad.

I am 61. Odd how I still learn new things about people and mankind every day. Some I would rather not know.
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  Old  August 12th, 2017, 10:19pm     #20
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First of all, my wife and my son matters and I matter to them. That is what is most important
I'm retired now after 32 years at the same place and there are 3 people there that I miss.
I have a brother and sister; they matter but, like me, have their own lives.

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  Old  August 13th, 2017, 1:24pm     #21
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"I am just not going to care about much. I will go in do my work and go home. When I'm out in public I will do the same. I will not talk to people unless I have too. I will not be my fun joking self anymore"

The only thing with that way of thinking is that your only denying yourself any fun and enjoyment. What's the true meaning of life? Maybe we will never know, or maybe some people already do know and keep going on anyway. Either way, for the time that you and anyone of us is here for how ever long, shouldn't we at least try to enjoy it?

If a bird and a fish fell in love, where would they live?
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  Old  August 13th, 2017, 3:17pm     #22
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your worth a lot to God, He gave His only Son to die for your sins& cares that much for you
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  Old  August 13th, 2017, 3:31pm     #23
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LuckySkunky, just be who you are without expectations about others. You do matter, so why let other people make you dull the sparkle that you really are? I know I'm not alone in saying that you matter to me, so shine brightly without giving a flying flip what anybody else thinks.

Love trumps hate
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  Old  August 14th, 2017, 1:27pm     #24
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Just do your best- all people can vary their personalities... that's not important, what's important is who you are at your core? Do you love others more than yourself, do you look to help those who can do nothing for you? Is what you put in the world- GOOD?

Keep at it

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  Old  August 14th, 2017, 3:54pm     #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bvinton View Post
your worth a lot to God, He gave His only Son to die for your sins& cares that much for you

Honey, Ain't Nothin' Ever Gonna Be Like It Was Before.
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  Old  August 14th, 2017, 11:54pm     #26
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I 've been thinking about this all year, I"m 69 , its just seems I'm waiting to die , I hate it, my whole life I been thinking god saved me for something big. I once saved some people from getting killed, they didn't known anything about it, but does that kind of thing matter, maybe they would in the end been better off if I had't , the days just seem the same now, I have coffee shop friends now, not real friends, most of my friends are dead, my real friends all died in Vietnam, What do I have to look forward to.
Sorry just fussing

[jericho season 1]
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  Old  August 15th, 2017, 12:43am     #27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by john1948 View Post
I 've been thinking about this all year, I"m 69 , its just seems I'm waiting to die , I hate it, my whole life I been thinking god saved me for something big. I once saved some people from getting killed, they didn't known anything about it, but does that kind of thing matter, maybe they would in the end been better off if I had't , the days just seem the same now, I have coffee shop friends now, not real friends, most of my friends are dead, my real friends all died in Vietnam, What do I have to look forward to.
Sorry just fussing
We all have a choice to be happy or be sad. I know how you feel because I felt the same way. I didn't like it at all and wanted something different. I chose to find the good in life and it has become second nature. I'm madly in love with life now and it's all because I chose gratitude.

I commend you for saving the lives of those people. That's one helluva super accomplishment in the scheme of life and much more than many can claim. You also got to know some true heroes who gave their lives so the rest of us could live in peace. I think you have anything in the world to look forward to so just find something and go for it!

Be whatever you want to see in the world.

Love trumps hate
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  Old  August 15th, 2017, 1:58am     #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by john1948 View Post
I 've been thinking about this all year, I"m 69 , its just seems I'm waiting to die , I hate it, my whole life I been thinking god saved me for something big. I once saved some people from getting killed, they didn't known anything about it, but does that kind of thing matter, maybe they would in the end been better off if I had't , the days just seem the same now, I have coffee shop friends now, not real friends, most of my friends are dead, my real friends all died in Vietnam, What do I have to look forward to.
Sorry just fussing

I really hear you I don't even want to think about another 5 years let alone living till I'm 69 or beyond. God that thought sends chills down my spine.

"My whole life I been thinking God saved me for something big ". That is the grand delusion that many people have. Truth is NO not everyone is destined for greatness or even to make a name for themselves here. Some people like me will just live their life being nothing at all. I don't cherry coat things. In my life this is a fact that I am no one going no where that is it period.

Give Kids the World http://www.gktw.org
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  Old  August 15th, 2017, 7:56am     #29
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everyone matters to someone, just be yourself no matter what, as long as no one is harmful to others, not being yourself will just feed the nation of sheeple ..if we were all the same, I'd want to leave this green earth because I would be bored out my mind...

MY WINS Could you spare some box tops?
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