UGH !!!!! (just need to vent)

[mslove2u]

Well, lets say this, I love you guys here. I know I haven't been here for long but, where else can you proclaim "I WON A SET OF BALLS" and then find out many more have & get tips on how to keep them safe (Pharroh - I loved that post). So I hope I can let loose in here & not be snipped at for it.

Ok, hubby works for a heating & cooling company here in Pa. The owner is also a landlord (being nice about it). I have gone to clean out apartments with him when people move out or die & stuff is left behind. Well today he got the call from his boss to clean out the remainder of the stuff in an apartment that was abandoned. So, he went & calls me 20 min later all geeked & happy about what he found. Now mind you the renter left 3 weeks ago & called the office & told them she was gone & wouldn't be back. Well he found an XBOX with 2 controllers. None of the cables were there, so he didn't know if it worked or not.

I called Funcoland here & the guy told me to bring it in before buying the cables & games to make sure it worked. So hubby brought it home & we took it out there & guess what ? WE GOT A FREE XBOX !!!! Too cool, so we bought the cables & 2 games.

Now this is where I am going to vent.

I have 3 boys, hubby is step father. He has 2 kids by 1st wife (she be a BBBBAAAAADDDD word- guess what letter comes to mind :worry: ) Well , he gets his kids on the weekend & they go to his moms on Friday night to be with gramma & pappy. Hubby tells exwife that we found this XBOX & bought some games. She then goes to hubby "you should give that to Jr. (his son by her) after all he is YOUR SON, not them up there." :mad2: :mad2: :mad2: :mad2:

Am I wrong to want to kill this woman? I mean , last Xmas we bought 2 Gamecubes, on for here at our house & 1 for at their house, 2 Gameboy Advances (1 for each of his kids/ the younger 2 boys here are getting them this year/oldest son got his for bday last year). She thinks that my kids don't deserve/should get anything he finds in a vacant apartment since he has 2 with her. She expects us to buy the big ticket stuff every year at Xmas & she just gets the small stuff like the batteries and board games.

I told hubby if the XBOX doesn't come back from grammas house, I will go to her house with the police & report it stolen. Why do ex's have to be such pains?

[Jodimae]

Oh, Im glad to hear I'm not the only one that has to deal with ex- uhhumm.
I know exactly where you are comming from, My husnbands ex is the SAME way. Only my story is a bit different.
He married her while she was preg. with some other mans kid, at the age of 18, she is 10 yrs older then him. They married so the baby could be born on militar insurance, while he was gone she sold his camero, and all his gus etc. but anyway, so he has 1 kid with her thats not his, and one that is his, yet he pays child support for 2.
I have 3 kids, 1 not with him, and twins with him. She calls all the time wanting this and that, talking about how my 1 kid isnt his to support etc. She also expects us to buy BIG expensive gifts for the boys.( I have 3 girls)
One year she had us pay off the balance for some bikes she had in layaway, saying she only put 20.00 down, ok and we could give them to the boys, so we did just that. The day after we gave them the bikes, the oldest boy said "Dad thanks for the bikes, but mom told us the truth, they are from her, you just didnt have the money to get us anything!!!" GOSH THE NERVE...
It gets worse, if he owes her ANY child support, she calls the cops, and harasses the senetors, lol
Luckily she lives 1400 miles from me, and is paranoid to go out of her house!
We are going there for Thanksgiving, to my in laws, and she told my husband we cant see the boys unless we eat thanksgiving at her house... she is always trying to get us to move in with her etc. iT AINT HAPPENING..... GET THE CLUE.... I DONT WANT TO BE ON JERRY SPINGER ANYTIME SOON!!!!
LOL, Anyway, Hang in there, stand up for yourself and YOUR kids, their wants and needs, YOUR kids come first!!
I know right where you are comming from, and it IS HARD!!!
:frown3:

[jdhj2]

wow, both sound like horror stories. thank god i only have to support my dog.

[gitteup4]

Yes, I understand what you two are going through for sure. Not only is my husbands ex a blankity-blank, but she is also psycho. I got sick of all that crap about a year after we were married. My husband told her that he pays child support for a reason. If it's not enough then get another job, but do not hound us over what YOU think we should pay. He also told her that if she can't take care of the kids and buy them what is necessary then he would be more than happy to do it so she wouldn't have to worry about it anymore. I am not saying that we don't do anything for the kids because we do. But we don't let HER control what we do. If they ask for something and we can get it then we do, but she is not allowed to dictate what we do in our family and that sounds like what your two exes are doing.As far as who's children deserve what and who should give or buy it for them, I would straight up tell her if she thinks they deserve it so much then go take the child support that we pay you and by all means run to Wal-Mart as fast as you can and get it. She also has no right to say what YOUR children get and don't get and it is none of her business. If she doesn't like it then let her throw her hissy fit and then tell her again to run to Wal-Mart as fast as she can with that child support check. Plus, does it say in the divorce decree that he still has to do everything she says and cater to her even after their marriage is over? NOT!!! At least I haven't seen one written like that. As you can tell I am very sick of my husbands ex and I sympathize greatly with you two. If I have overstepped my boundaries or offended you in anyway I apoligize now. I do hope this can be of help though.

[Rapunzel676]

Mslove2u, Jodimae, Gitteup4:

When will some people grow the heck up and stop treating their kids like pawns in a chess game? Don't they realize all that the only people they're hurting are their kids? (My parents did this to me for years, so I'm speaking from experience!) It sounds like you guys and your husbands are the only ones capable of behaving like adults here. Now I don't get along with my stepmother and never have, so I usually always take the side of the first spouse/kids, but in this case both women are just making fools of themselves. I mean, it's not like they're being denied child support or that the kids lack for anything. There are plenty of men who simply forget their older children exist once they remarry and start new families. Clearly that is not the case here. In my opinion these women (the exes) are just being greedy and vindictive and it's their kids who are going to suffer the most. Sad. :worry:

[nancy_k1]

I don't think you are wrong at all for feeling the way you do. I mean the kids come to your house to and they can play it there!! She is just jealous!

[GTBuzz]

She sounds like a real pain. I agree with you, the game should stay with you guys since you are the ones that found it and bought the cables etc. She is just trying to dominate...you know that old game that women play...must be top dog. :worry: Hopefully, you can discuss it with your hubby and he will come around. Sorry you have to go through it.

No offense meant here, but stories like all the ones posted here make me so happy I am not married....

I am sending you positive vibes :gvibes: and hope you have a great day!

Heather

[TinyMoMo]

Ask yourself...how do I want my kids to remember me?

When it comes down to it, they do not care who pays for what, how much money someone did or did not pay for child support, who got what games for Christmas. Kids need to feel loved and secure, and whether you have no money or a zillion dollars, making a child feel secure is always free. :)

When adults let the bickering and bad feelings toward ex spouses and divorce situations take precedence over what really matters, they are only cheating themselves. :worry:

How do I know this? My husband was married once before. In the first year, I had to deal with my ire toward the ex spouse and her total lack of common sense. I was allowing it to take over. it was ugly. I had to let it go. Now, years later, I just deal with her the 10 minutes a week I need to, and move on. She is still just as annoying and stupid as ever, but I don't care!She is not worth it. :halo:

So someone told me to ask myself, "How do you want the kids to remember me". And that is what goes through my head when I fear I may waste too much time on petty crap. No one cares who bought what, who paid what-but the kids need to feel they can trust me, and I love them no matter WHERE they came from. A child deserves that much. :sherlock:

Off the soapbox now! :grad:

[patty716]

wow. are you sure this isnt the same woman?! lol my hubbys ez is phyco also..imature even though most woulnt see it. she hides it well most times. she lets her kids do and say anything to her. well..my hubbys 17yo daughter wanted to move in with us a couple of years ago, but her mom theatend and talked her into staying with her, shes jellous of loseing the kids i guess. anyway his daughter did move in with us last year cause she was fighting with her mom and brother alot. the girl isnt doing to well in the mental part eiither she has a hatred for her bro. all was ok untill...aimee 17 started talking to a boy she met online. then we were bad cause she had to take out the trash and clean the room. and we wont put up with her nonsence. well they decided that she hates her dad now and wants to go back with mom. that wasnt enough..she demanded her mom file a protection from abuse against her dad!. its all not true shes making up lies to get her way. so now he cant contact his daughter in any way nless SHE wants to.(witch is fine at this point) but it also messed with us seeing the other 2 kids. im pissed cause shes alowed to use the law and lie to start trouble...sigh. she plans to run away to marry this boy she dont even know. well thats her prob now. her dad and i gave her all her stuff, turned off her cell phone he was paying for and wont pay for anything extra except support anymore. for the 17yo that is. shes going to see how much she lost.her moms not working and usualy wont pay for much. this woman is scared to get the cell phone back from her daughter its ours and wont make her do anything, even take her meds she needs.

sometimes i wish i would have stayed in my lovless marraige to my ex, with our 2 kids, then deal with all the stuff that came along with this one...i love the man but his ex and kids....welll....thanks all sorry tis long.

[Lutzplay2]

With exes its a manipulation game--don't give in! Don't feel guilty about it!