The Recovery thread (all addictions)

[gemini lion]

I wanted to start this thread as soon as I saw that we could but couldn't in good conscience. I was waiting to go in-patient for an opiate addiction, my second detox in 6 months. The reason I had to go again is the first detox pretty much dosed me on methadone and then sent me on my way....long story short, didn't work. I've been drug free for almost a month, yes I know, not a whole lot of time there but I still saw a need for those of us with addiction problems to get some love and support from those that truly understand.

I know there are other OLS'rs who are in recovery either from drugs, alcohol, gambling, food, etc. Doesn't matter what as an addiction is an addiction IMO. There may be little nuances in treating each different "substance or behaviour" but the main goal is to stay clean and sober.

I've been fighting substance abuse for many years, alcohol and drugs. I know that many people do not want to "out" themselves and may not want to share thier experience, strength and hope here but it is my great hope that someone that is suffering can reach out to one of us who can help.

I am working really hard going to meetings, sponsorship and also attending an intensive out-patient program 3 days a week. I have had years of clean time in between relapses and am really, really sick and tired of it all.

I have found that most family members and friends think it's just a matter of putting down the drink, drug, whatever and stopping but we know better..it is so much more then that.

I don't want to make this a long drawn out story...it is what it is.


Please, join me on my (our) journey.

And for those of you who do not feel comfortable posting please feel free to pm me. I really hope that others will join me, so that we can help each other. But I certainly understand if some do not want to.

[lunarstar]

Congratulations on your sobriety! It is a long, hard path. I was addicted to pot for along time. It was hard to stop. I havent done it for about 6 years but unfortunately now I am addicted to food. I traded one for the other.

[gemini lion]

Congratulations on your sobriety! It is a long, hard path. I was addicted to pot for along time. It was hard to stop. I havent done it for about 6 years but unfortunately now I am addicted to food. I traded one for the other.

Yep, I totally understand that. Either way it is very difficult to stop those urges.

Do you feel that your life is unmanageable due to your food addiction? I have issues with food myself and have to be careful as I suffered from both anorexia and bulimia in the past.

Thanks for posting. I know it is incredibly difficult to do so in a public forum such as this. I decided to just throw caution to the wind and start this thread as shame is a big part of any addiction I believe.

[lunarstar]

Yes it is hard to admit such personal stuff here. For me I feel like it was a life time ago so I can admit it now. It feels so good to not have to hide or have a secret from the world!

Eating too much food is way more exceptable. I know my addiction to pot and food is not of the same caliber. My life is still manageable but I still have shame and I am disappointed with myself that it is all I think about. I also hide snacks and cannot eat in moderation.

Thank you for starting this thread because it is something I need to talk about. I need to understand why I have an addictive personality. Why cant I be addicted to exercise?

I have not had treatment for either thing. I was just finally ready to stop smoking. I had tried many times and one time it just clicked. Do they tell you at meetings that lots of people trade one for the other?

[gemini lion]

Yes, people sometimes refer to trading addictions as "switching seats on the Titanic". If a behaviour is making your life unmanageable, etc. it doesn't matter what it is.

There are Over Eaters Anonymous meetings. I am sure if you did a search you may find one on your area. That is if you are so inclined.

For me I go to A.A. and N.A. meetings. They are hugely helpful to me and to many others. It's a place where everyone understands where you are coming from and that in itself is a comfort.

It's brave of you to post.

[ironbutterfly]

You are beautiful wonderful beings, and you deserve to feel good and live well :hugs:

I am proud of you:bouquet:

[gemini lion]

You are beautiful wonderful beings, and you deserve to feel good and live well :hugs:

I am proud of you:bouquet:

Ahhh, I wuv you IB. You are such a ray of sunshine! :kissy:

[mcclave]

I wanted to start this thread as soon as I saw that we could but couldn't in good conscience. I was waiting to go in-patient for an opiate addiction, my second detox in 6 months. The reason I had to go again is the first detox pretty much dosed me on methadone and then sent me on my way....long story short, didn't work. I've been drug free for almost a month, yes I know, not a whole lot of time there but I still saw a need for those of us with addiction problems to get some love and support from those that truly understand.

I know there are other OLS'rs who are in recovery either from drugs, alcohol, gambling, food, etc. Doesn't matter what as an addiction is an addiction IMO. There may be little nuances in treating each different "substance or behaviour" but the main goal is to stay clean and sober.

I've been fighting substance abuse for many years, alcohol and drugs. I know that many people do not want to "out" themselves and may not want to share thier experience, strength and hope here but it is my great hope that someone that is suffering can reach out to one of us who can help.

I am working really hard going to meetings, sponsorship and also attending an intensive out-patient program 3 days a week. I have had years of clean time in between relapses and am really, really sick and tired of it all.

I have found that most family members and friends think it's just a matter of putting down the drink, drug, whatever and stopping but we know better..it is so much more then that.

I don't want to make this a long drawn out story...it is what it is.


Please, join me on my (our) journey.

And for those of you who do not feel comfortable posting please feel free to pm me. I really hope that others will join me, so that we can help each other. But I certainly understand if some do not want to.



I hear that acupuncture has a pretty good success rate. (((HUGS))) on your journey!

[gemini lion]

I hear that acupuncture has a pretty good success rate. (((HUGS))) on your journey!

I've considered that and thank you for support. There are quite a few people here that have stuck with me through all of this and as you know there are some pretty awesome people here (yourself included).

I am still very tired since going off the suboxone but I fell better everyday.

[beanieprincess]

i am struggling agin with anorexia.
please pray for me.
i have had it for years.

but dont tell me to eat i know i have to but its hard

[onebolf]

To All:

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers! It is a long hard journey out and up again but it can be worth it in the end, I promise!

[manna]

Addiction is a horrible disease! I am not an addict but my darling husband is - a recovering drug user and alcoholic who has been sober for about 1 1/2 years. He comes from a long line of alcoholics and I am SO proud of him. He is now enrolled in college full time in order to become a paramedic. :)

I just wanted to pop in on this thread and send some good vibes all you guys way. Congrats on your sobriety and best wishes on your continued recovery!

[Ladyxmess]

Great idea....I have so many things I am recovering from it's ridiculous :tongue4:

I celebrated 20 years without a drink on Jan 23rd
I celebrated 3 years drug free in October (I was clean for 16 years & kind of gave up on life with my pain pills).
I am trying to recover from eating disorders.
I celebrated a year without cigarettes on March 2.

And there are so many other things about me that make me think in an addictive manner.

I did AA for 16 1/2 years...I quit going when I realized I had given up on my self & took a bunch of pain pills. I was involved in Service and had a few sponsees that I worked with regularly.
I am one of those people who needed outside help...therapy helped me where AA couldn't.

But I still struggle with my head.

I have gained 35lbs in the last 2 years & I hate how I feel and look. Most of it is medical & I can not exercise. I want to take diet pills or maybe some speed....maybe start smoking again to keep my mind off of food....the quick fix! Riiiiiight.
I am so frustrated with myself....it is....frustrating, lol.

I still have humor, but I often wonder how long it will last.
I think I'm stuck in a depression & not sure if I want to expend the energy it takes to get out of it.
I'm not suicidal...just apathetic.

Sometimes I can be so depressing, sorry.

Just looking forward to the warm weather...I can go outside & play in the garden.

Lots of good vibes & prayers to all...Just for today!

[MrsM]

Hi Gemini:

Glad to see you posting!! As we have talked before, I'll keep this short. You should be very proud of your month sobriety!! It's the hardest thing we addicts have to do. A day at a time, and you will be fine. I never thought I'd stay sober, I thought I was a helpless alky. But here it is, 10 years later, and I'm still sober.

Even though I don't go to meetings, and haven't for years, I've been in numerous rehabs and detoxes and support groups, and I use what I have learned in my daily life.

If you ever need to talk, you know where to find me. Hugs girlie girl.:grouphug:

[CathyVeester]

i am struggling agin with anorexia.
please pray for me.
i have had it for years.

but dont tell me to eat i know i have to but its hard


Hi, DJ'sPrincess,

I have had the addictions of drinking, drugs, gambling and food (primarily anorexia).

Of all the addictions (in my personal experience), anorexia is the toughest.

The good news is that there are lots of eating disorder programs through hospitals and rehab centers.

I won't tell you not to eat ... that won't work ... but I plead with you to look into getting some help for this very difficult addiction.

.....................................................................

To Gemini and others:

Mrs M is right it is all about one day at a time.

One day at a time for me - with drinking and drugs - has lasted for 23 years. But I take nothing for granted.
And with time, it does get easier. At least in my experience, with enough time - the cravings and desires seem to diminish.

I still gamble a little, but I think I have that pretty much under control and also for me, it was/is my least destructive vice.

To LadyX:

Don't allow yourself to suffer. If you have depression, take some meds or get some therapy if you have not done so.

When my DD got very sick this past summer, I was so depressed that I couldn't even think.

I took Sam-e and got myself some phone therapy from a wonderful doctor by the name of Dr. Luann Linquist. And both helped me get myself together.

She has a program called "Delete It" which was very helpful to me in deleting bad images in my mind. http://www.deletestress.com/corporate-speaker.htm

She works with depression and anxiety issues, although I am not sure if she does anything with addictions.

Other things I have done .... get more involved with spirituality in partnership with my DH; meditation, Tai Chi and Eckart Tolle.

And I talk to my mom a lot ... she has been in AA for over 30 years and she gives me a great deal of 'good message'.

.................................................................................................... ........................

You are all amazing people.

God bless you all!

[Defenderofthefaith]

Great thread, Gemini! Please don't laugh or flame me, but I struggle with addiction to sex, porn, and men. Also, chocolate and spicy foods.
:hugs: and prayers to everyone here.

[gemini lion]

Great thread, Gemini! Please don't laugh or flame me, but I struggle with addiction to sex, porn, and men. Also, chocolate and spicy foods.
:hugs: and prayers to everyone here.

There will be no flaming or laughing here. Anything that one is addicted to that makes thier lives unmanageable, etc. is a serious problem.

I thank you and everyone else for posting.

[gemini lion]

Great idea....I have so many things I am recovering from it's ridiculous :tongue4:

I celebrated 20 years without a drink on Jan 23rd
I celebrated 3 years drug free in October (I was clean for 16 years & kind of gave up on life with my pain pills).
I am trying to recover from eating disorders.
I celebrated a year without cigarettes on March 2.

And there are so many other things about me that make me think in an addictive manner.

I did AA for 16 1/2 years...I quit going when I realized I had given up on my self & took a bunch of pain pills. I was involved in Service and had a few sponsees that I worked with regularly.
I am one of those people who needed outside help...therapy helped me where AA couldn't.

But I still struggle with my head.

I have gained 35lbs in the last 2 years & I hate how I feel and look. Most of it is medical & I can not exercise. I want to take diet pills or maybe some speed....maybe start smoking again to keep my mind off of food....the quick fix! Riiiiiight.
I am so frustrated with myself....it is....frustrating, lol.

I still have humor, but I often wonder how long it will last.
I think I'm stuck in a depression & not sure if I want to expend the energy it takes to get out of it.
I'm not suicidal...just apathetic.

Sometimes I can be so depressing, sorry.

Just looking forward to the warm weather...I can go outside & play in the garden.

Lots of good vibes & prayers to all...Just for today!


I think it's always a struggle really. Kathy mentioned some good things, have you tried medication for the depression? They all don't work the same for everyone so sometimes you have to try a few to get the right one but they do work, they did for me until I stopped.

I am going to get some mental health help as well, I seriouslly need to work on some stuff.

Sending you and everyone good vibes and hugs.

[Ladyxmess]

Thanks for the note...:faces:

I have been on antidepressants since 1997...I have tried almost all of them & decided to stay with Zoloft. The side effects are the mildest of all of them and it keeps me from driving my car into a rock wall.
The worse one I was on was Lexipro, that's the one where I took my pain pills trying to end it all. Lexipro is EVIL. Talking with my Doc led me to find out Lexipro will trigger compulsion/relapse in people who are trying to recover from said things.
I wish Doctors would get to know the drugs before they prescribe them.

As for my mental state, I am clinically depressed. Therapy is the only thing I have found that helps me get over myself & my past. The only problem is, is that I seem to have a never ending supply of problems that hamper me.

So-I just go with the flow and try to have the best possible attitude towards whatever is going on.


Gemini...I will only say; do get mental health help. Once you are really ready for it-your life will change for the better.

[luckymomx4]

I have a gambling addiction. I play the slots way too much and went to my first GA meeting last week. I felt extremely uncomfortable as being the only "newbie" there (it was a first meeting for new members, go figure).

It started out as casual playing every once in a while, but then I began to go on lunch hours for an hour of "escape". Now I can't seem to stop and I feel the pull every day around 11:30AM to go there. I can't sleep, I'm broke and my husband is not exactly happy with me. It's been a week, and I basically am in withdrawal. Totally sucks!

Anyway - by the grace of God I'll beat this addiction, but I think I'll have to do it on my own or with a counselor -GA doesnt' seem like my kind of place.

It's extremely difficult living in Nevada, because the casinos are everywhere and always advertising on TV.

Hugs to everyone struggling to beat their own addictions and I'm glad I found this thread.
:grouphug:

[Defenderofthefaith]

It indeed is only through His Grace that I have made it through my addictions although I am still tempted at times.

[Ladyxmess]

Hi all! :birthday2 One day at a time...

When I wrote in this thread 2 months ago, I re-read my post and decided to make some changes.

I started to attend AA meetings again...Arco is a far cry from what I'm used to, but I'll find my niche, lol. I'm a Service Nazi, so I'll be very busy.

I finally allowed my doc to change my anti-depressant. I am taking Effexor (again, tried it 5 years ago), and I am liking it so far.
It is like:....I have been living in a black and white world that suddenly breaks out in color. Thank God for anti-depressants!

I hope all are doing good and enjoying the strange spring, weather-wise. I also hope all are safe and semi-sane!
To friends & fellow recoverer's...

“We shall be with you in the Fellowship of the Spirit as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny.” —The Big Book

[gemini lion]

Hi all! :birthday2 One day at a time...

When I wrote in this thread 2 months ago, I re-read my post and decided to make some changes.

I started to attend AA meetings again...Arco is a far cry from what I'm used to, but I'll find my niche, lol. I'm a Service Nazi, so I'll be very busy.

I finally allowed my doc to change my anti-depressant. I am taking Effexor (again, tried it 5 years ago), and I am liking it so far.
It is like:....I have been living in a black and white world that suddenly breaks out in color. Thank God for anti-depressants!

I hope all are doing good and enjoying the strange spring, weather-wise. I also hope all are safe and semi-sane!
To friends & fellow recoverer's...

“We shall be with you in the Fellowship of the Spirit as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny.” —The Big Book

That's great! I have to force myself to go to meetings sometimes but I know I gotta do it. There's a waiting lists for therapists for the two places that will take my insurance so I really do need to go to meetings.

An addict alone is in bad company, can't stress that enough.

Blessings to all!

[MrsM]

Good morning everyone!!!

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, so just live life TODAY.

[gemini lion]

Good morning everyone!!!

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, so just live life TODAY.

So true and it would seem a simple enough philosophy to follow but I am always projecting, and I never project anything good. It's a very bad habit that I am trying to stop.

Hugs to all!

[CathyVeester]

So true and it would seem a simple enough philosophy to follow but I am always projecting, and I never project anything good. It's a very bad habit that I am trying to stop.

Hugs to all!

And there is this:

If God brings me TO it ... He will bring me THROUGH it.
.................................................................................................... ..........

Someone shared this with me, and I love it.

.................................................................................................... ...........

Some recommendations for living in the moment:

Terry Cole Whittaker's tapes and books www.terrycolewhittaker.com

(Book) Mindfulness in Plain English - Bhante

(Book) Any Book of Eckart Tolle

Unity or Science of Mind practices

Meditation

These have all helped me.

.................................................................................................... ..........

Daily prayer and affirmations

Here are some I say daily:

Today -

• I love and accept myself and others.

• I am at peace with myself and others.

* I am coming from love, peace, joy, beauty and truth.

• I wish myself and all beings wellness, happiness and freedom from suffering.

* I count my blessings, not my problems.

• The more grateful I am, the more reasons I find to be grateful.

• Like a happy surfer, I am riding the waves of life beautifully.

• With God, there is nothing for me to worry about again.

[Ladyxmess]

I just found out my cousin committed suicide & died Monday early in the AM. He was in a drug induced coma. Such a bummer. He was 39...lived in Fayetteville, NC. He was in recovery-AA, wish he would have reached out to one of us. (Family or AA or counseling).
There, but for the grace of God, go I.


Glad I have you guys!

[CathyVeester]

I just found out my cousin committed suicide & died Monday early in the AM. He was in a drug induced coma. Such a bummer. He was 39...lived in Fayetteville, NC. He was in recovery-AA, wish he would have reached out to one of us. (Family or AA or counseling).
There, but for the grace of God, go I.


Glad I have you guys!

I am very sorry for your loss.

May your cousin RIP.

[gemini lion]

I just found out my cousin committed suicide & died Monday early in the AM. He was in a drug induced coma. Such a bummer. He was 39...lived in Fayetteville, NC. He was in recovery-AA, wish he would have reached out to one of us. (Family or AA or counseling).
There, but for the grace of God, go I.


Glad I have you guys!

OMG..I am so sorry! You know when you are deep in the crap it's sometimes so hard to reach out and you feel like all hope is lost and that nothing can be done. My heartfelt condolences and yes, there but for the grace of God for sure.

Thanks for posting that Cathy. I used to have lots of positive affirmation books and I used them for awhile but that was a long time ago. It's easy to see that you are a very positive and kind person.

I will look into the tape.

[CathyVeester]

OMG..I am so sorry! You know when you are deep in the crap it's sometimes so hard to reach out and you feel like all hope is lost and that nothing can be done. My heartfelt condolences and yes, there but for the grace of God for sure.

Thanks for posting that Cathy. I used to have lots of positive affirmation books and I used them for awhile but that was a long time ago. It's easy to see that you are a very positive and kind person.

I will look into the tape.

Thank you, Joannie.

...............................................................

A very sage close relative on mine has been in a 12 Step Program for 25-30 years (I can't remember exactly).

She always tells me "Keep it Simple."

...............................................................

When you start up your Affirmation Book again (mine is right on my desk top in a word file),
start with three (3) affirmations that connect with you best.

.................................................................................................... ..........................

:hugs:

If God brings you TO it ... He will bring you THROUGH it.

[Lvrofbooks]

I just found this thread & I wanted to send everyone a big :hugs:. I think the OP had a wonderful idea in starting this & you all are very brave to post.

My dad was an addict & an alcoholic & my whole life has been surrounded with that lifestyle. I have had my own issues with food & some other things...although I've been lucky enough to not become an addict.

I applaud everyone here who is facing their demons & taking their sobriety seriously. It is such a struggle...but the end result is worth it, IMO. Stay strong.

[CathyVeester]

To my fellow recovering addicts:

Today,

May you be well.
May you be happy.
May you be free from suffering.

May The Light of God surround you.
The Love of God enfold you.
The power of God protect you.
The presence of God watch over you.
Wherever you are, God is.
And all is well.

............................................................

[Captain Nemo]

do yo remember me ??
am i welcome ??
i'm getting woprse in this way or that way .
i don't know what to do .:frown3:

[Ladyxmess]

do yo remember me ??
am i welcome ??
i'm getting woprse in this way or that way .
i don't know what to do .:frown3:

You are always welcome my friend! :wavy:

[Captain Nemo]

do yo remember me ??
am i welcome ??
i'm getting worse in this way or that way .
i don't know what to do .:frown3:

i might be in trouble .
no matter how long i keep the booze under control 3 months - 2 years
i still feel weird being with ppl --anymore i mostly just go out at nite--grocery store or such.
twice i've had nice ppl mention it - that i'm not normal.
1 was a psych ,supposedly , she said she delt with horses --i could tell by the discussion that she was educated .
the other was a prostitute ( yes i know i shouldnt hire prostitutes )i n her drove for a bit ,she asked if i was on drugs n i said no .
here is the weird part - she recognized that i'm not exactly normal ,i remember her saying "you poor dear , not all are good at socializing "
sometimes i google mental health sites -- i keep chickening out .

[Lvrofbooks]

i might be in trouble .
no matter how long i keep the booze under control 3 months - 2 years
i still feel weird being with ppl --anymore i mostly just go out at nite--grocery store or such.
twice i've had nice ppl mention it - that i'm not normal.
1 was a psych ,supposedly , she said she delt with horses --i could tell by the discussion that she was educated .
the other was a prostitute ( yes i know i shouldnt hire prostitutes )i n her drove for a bit ,she asked if i was on drugs n i said no .
here is the weird part - she recognized that i'm not exactly normal ,i remember her saying "you poor dear , not all are good at socializing "
sometimes i google mental health sites -- i keep chickening out .

Nemo...there are plenty of legal meds out there that can help you with depression & social anxiety if you think you need them. Is there any way you can maybe get some counseling to help you? It might help for you to talk to someone that's objective. A psychiatrist is really the only one qualified to tell you if you're having issues or not & how to fix them if you are. I don't really think there is anything that is "normal"!! Some of us just have a harder time dealing with things. I wish you the best :grouphug:

[souldolphindream]

I just found this thread. I havent touched a drug for 3 years. I still fight with my other addictions. Food is so hard for me. I dont go to the casino anymore but I want to sometimes.
I just take the day as it comes sometimes it is every minute as it comes.

I have had a hard time this weekend.

My grandmother was put in the nursing home this week and she helped to raise me and I moved this weekend to take a caretaking job.

Everyone of you are in my thoughts and prayers.

[gemini lion]

Hugs to all. And Nemo, post here as much as you want. You know you can pm me anytime, I consider you a friend. I think a lot of people drink and drug because they are not good socially, I am sure the percentage is very high.

Sorry about your grandma dolphin, I know how difficult it must be for you, but I also know you are strong in your faith.

[Lvrofbooks]

I just found this thread. I havent touched a drug for 3 years. I still fight with my other addictions. Food is so hard for me. I dont go to the casino anymore but I want to sometimes.
I just take the day as it comes sometimes it is every minute as it comes.

I have had a hard time this weekend.

My grandmother was put in the nursing home this week and she helped to raise me and I moved this weekend to take a caretaking job.

Everyone of you are in my thoughts and prayers.

:hugs: You're doing great...just hang in there.

[gemini lion]

I haven't been in here in awhile and wanted to give it a little bump.

I am doing ok. I have had some rough patches, urges, especially when I am stressed out and depressed.

Hope all is well with everyone!

[ironbutterfly]

You know I luv you long time Gem:hugs:

[Captain Nemo]

i hope you are all doing well.
happy and succeeding against any and all addictions you may have.
:grouphug::grouphug:

[Captain Nemo]

now i have a true story for you.
it's a sad story and i post it from my exact mind perspective.
dec 23rd i woke up in the morque.
i knew not how i got there.
bodys on tables all around me .
i thought i could change the tv channel but that was in vain.
i came to think i was in a coma and yet i could move but i was afraid to.
i tried to rationalize it as something else, mayby a crime scene i could solve.
every 2 hrs day and nite all in the morque were called and got up ,stumbling and lurching ,a frightening sight to be sure.
after a while all would stumble back to they're slabs.
after 2 days of this nitemare i heard with disbelief something about christmas dinner.
i just lay there.
on day 3 i figured it out , i was in rehab.
i missed christmas , my son missed christmas at his mothers because he did'nt want to miss a call about me.
it took another day to find out i cannot pass they're tests of risk of dt's -those tests consist of hand tremors or tongue shaking ( the tonque test was new to all there )
why can't i pass the tests ??
because i've had them since a child --booze wears off - memories don't.
---------------------------
on the plus side they gave me a couple of economical or free mental health sources.:cheer: