Scary Snarky toaD
March 13th, 2003, 10:50am
Florida -- to have sexual relations with a porcupine.
New Orleans, Louisiana -- A dog is entitled to his first bite of a person.
California -- to remove your clothes in a bath house.
Urbana, Illinois -- to allow a monster within the city limits.
Cicero, Illinois -- to hum on the streets on Sunday.
Clinton, Oklahoma -- to molest an automobile.
Belvedere, California -- to have a dog in public without its master on a leash.
Milwaukee, Wisconsin -- to park for over two hours unless a horse is tied to the car.
Louisiana -- to gargle in public places.
Topeka, Kansas -- to install a bathtub.
Kalamazoo, Michigan -- to serenade your girlfriend.
Kansas -- to use mules to hunt ducks.
Detroit, Michigan
-- to willfully destroy your old radio.
-- for a man to scowl at his wife on Sunday.
Augusta, Maine-- to stroll down the street playing a violin.
Omaha, Nebraska-- to sneeze or burp during a church service. (No ordinance against ze breaking of ze wind?)
Spartansburg, South Carolina-- to eat watermelons in the Magnolia Street Cemetery.
Nogales, Arizona -- to wear suspenders.
Massachusetts-- to go to bed without first having a full bath.
Iowa -- to hold a kiss longer than five minutes.
Oklahoma -- to read a comic book while operating a motor vehicle.
Toledo, Ohio -- to throw a snake at anyone.
Huntington, West Virginia -- Firemen may not whistle or flirt at any woman passing a firehouse.
Baldwin Park, California-- to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool.
Boston, Massachusets -- to take a bath on Sunday.
North Andover, Massachusetts -- to use space guns.
Tylertown, Mississippi -- to shave in the center of main street.
Milford, Massachusetts -- to peep in the windows of automobiles.
Milwaukee, Wisconsin-- to play a flute and drums on the streets to attract attention.
Arkansas-- A law provides that school teachers who bob their hair will not get a raise.
Miami, Florida-- to imitate animals.
Texas-- to carry a spear or a sword to a polling place.
Santa Ana, California -- for two or more persons to congregate for the purpose of discussion on the sidewalks.
Memphis, Tennessee -- sell teddy bears or yo-yo's on Sunday.
Boston, Massachusetts -- Mourners at a wake must not eat more than three sandwiches apiece.
South Carolina -- to crawl around in public sewers without a permit.
Kentucky -- A man may not purchase a hat unless his wife is with him.
Massachusetts-- to duel with water pistols.
Louisiana -- to catch lizards at night.
Norfolk, Virginia -- for hens to lay eggs before 8 AM and
after 4 PM. (How do they enforce THAT?)
Detroit, Michigan-- to sit in the middle of the street and read a newspaper.
Brooklyn, New York-- Donkeys are not allowed to sleep in bathtubs. (Darn, and mine liked it so much in there!)
Ottumwa, Iowa-- "for any male person, within the corporate limits of the (city), to wink at any female person with whom he is unaquainted." (Remember, this is Radar's home town!)
Los Angeles, California-- to bathe two babies in the same tub at the same time.
Zion, Illinois-- for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animals kept as pets.
Carmel, New York-- for a man to go outside wearing a jacket and pants that do not match.
Clawson, Michigan -- But it is it LEGAL for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.
Gary, Indiana-- to attend a movie house or other theater and/or ride in a public streetcar within four hours of eating garlic.
Miami, Florida-- for men to be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
St. Louis, Missouri -- to sit on the curb of any city street and drink beer from a bucket. (Joy-killers!)
Detroit, Michigan -- for couples to make love in an automobile unless the act takes place while the vehicle is parked on the couple's own property. (And you thought Michiganians were straight-laced!)
Hartford, Connecticut-- to cross a street while walking on your hands. (Now this one makes SENSE!)
Michigan-- for a woman to cut her own hair without her husband's permission.
Baltimore, Maryland --
-- to throw bales of hay from a second-story window within the city limits
-- to take a lion to the movies.
Oxford, Ohio -- for a woman to strip off her clothing while standing in front of a man's picture.
Nicholas County, West Virginia-- for a member of the clergy to tell jokes or humorous stories from the pulpit during a church service.
California -- for animals to mate publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.
Pennsylvania-- It is required that any motorist driving along a country road at night must stop every mile and send up a rocket signal, wait 10 minutes for the road to be cleared of livestock, and continue.
Carrizozo, New Mexico-- for a female to appear unshaven in public (includes legs and face).
Los Angeles, California -- A man is legally entitled to beat his wife with a leather belt or strap, but the belt can't be wider than 2 inches, unless he has his wife's consent to beat her with a wider strap.
Kentucky-- "No female shall appear in a bathing suit on any highway within this state unless she be escorted by at least two officers or unless she be armed with a club."
An amendment to the above legislation: "The provisions of this statuate shall not apply to females weighing less than 90 pounds nor exceeding 200 pounds, nor shall it apply to female horses."
New Orleans, Louisiana -- A dog is entitled to his first bite of a person.
California -- to remove your clothes in a bath house.
Urbana, Illinois -- to allow a monster within the city limits.
Cicero, Illinois -- to hum on the streets on Sunday.
Clinton, Oklahoma -- to molest an automobile.
Belvedere, California -- to have a dog in public without its master on a leash.
Milwaukee, Wisconsin -- to park for over two hours unless a horse is tied to the car.
Louisiana -- to gargle in public places.
Topeka, Kansas -- to install a bathtub.
Kalamazoo, Michigan -- to serenade your girlfriend.
Kansas -- to use mules to hunt ducks.
Detroit, Michigan
-- to willfully destroy your old radio.
-- for a man to scowl at his wife on Sunday.
Augusta, Maine-- to stroll down the street playing a violin.
Omaha, Nebraska-- to sneeze or burp during a church service. (No ordinance against ze breaking of ze wind?)
Spartansburg, South Carolina-- to eat watermelons in the Magnolia Street Cemetery.
Nogales, Arizona -- to wear suspenders.
Massachusetts-- to go to bed without first having a full bath.
Iowa -- to hold a kiss longer than five minutes.
Oklahoma -- to read a comic book while operating a motor vehicle.
Toledo, Ohio -- to throw a snake at anyone.
Huntington, West Virginia -- Firemen may not whistle or flirt at any woman passing a firehouse.
Baldwin Park, California-- to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool.
Boston, Massachusets -- to take a bath on Sunday.
North Andover, Massachusetts -- to use space guns.
Tylertown, Mississippi -- to shave in the center of main street.
Milford, Massachusetts -- to peep in the windows of automobiles.
Milwaukee, Wisconsin-- to play a flute and drums on the streets to attract attention.
Arkansas-- A law provides that school teachers who bob their hair will not get a raise.
Miami, Florida-- to imitate animals.
Texas-- to carry a spear or a sword to a polling place.
Santa Ana, California -- for two or more persons to congregate for the purpose of discussion on the sidewalks.
Memphis, Tennessee -- sell teddy bears or yo-yo's on Sunday.
Boston, Massachusetts -- Mourners at a wake must not eat more than three sandwiches apiece.
South Carolina -- to crawl around in public sewers without a permit.
Kentucky -- A man may not purchase a hat unless his wife is with him.
Massachusetts-- to duel with water pistols.
Louisiana -- to catch lizards at night.
Norfolk, Virginia -- for hens to lay eggs before 8 AM and
after 4 PM. (How do they enforce THAT?)
Detroit, Michigan-- to sit in the middle of the street and read a newspaper.
Brooklyn, New York-- Donkeys are not allowed to sleep in bathtubs. (Darn, and mine liked it so much in there!)
Ottumwa, Iowa-- "for any male person, within the corporate limits of the (city), to wink at any female person with whom he is unaquainted." (Remember, this is Radar's home town!)
Los Angeles, California-- to bathe two babies in the same tub at the same time.
Zion, Illinois-- for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animals kept as pets.
Carmel, New York-- for a man to go outside wearing a jacket and pants that do not match.
Clawson, Michigan -- But it is it LEGAL for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.
Gary, Indiana-- to attend a movie house or other theater and/or ride in a public streetcar within four hours of eating garlic.
Miami, Florida-- for men to be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
St. Louis, Missouri -- to sit on the curb of any city street and drink beer from a bucket. (Joy-killers!)
Detroit, Michigan -- for couples to make love in an automobile unless the act takes place while the vehicle is parked on the couple's own property. (And you thought Michiganians were straight-laced!)
Hartford, Connecticut-- to cross a street while walking on your hands. (Now this one makes SENSE!)
Michigan-- for a woman to cut her own hair without her husband's permission.
Baltimore, Maryland --
-- to throw bales of hay from a second-story window within the city limits
-- to take a lion to the movies.
Oxford, Ohio -- for a woman to strip off her clothing while standing in front of a man's picture.
Nicholas County, West Virginia-- for a member of the clergy to tell jokes or humorous stories from the pulpit during a church service.
California -- for animals to mate publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.
Pennsylvania-- It is required that any motorist driving along a country road at night must stop every mile and send up a rocket signal, wait 10 minutes for the road to be cleared of livestock, and continue.
Carrizozo, New Mexico-- for a female to appear unshaven in public (includes legs and face).
Los Angeles, California -- A man is legally entitled to beat his wife with a leather belt or strap, but the belt can't be wider than 2 inches, unless he has his wife's consent to beat her with a wider strap.
Kentucky-- "No female shall appear in a bathing suit on any highway within this state unless she be escorted by at least two officers or unless she be armed with a club."
An amendment to the above legislation: "The provisions of this statuate shall not apply to females weighing less than 90 pounds nor exceeding 200 pounds, nor shall it apply to female horses."