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View Full Version : The REAL threat to our nation!


mjordan29
March 6th, 2003, 3:16pm
It seems our forums, reflecting the attitudes of the nation, are spending a lot of time on political issues, especially global conflict. Should we go to war with Iraq? What should we do about North Korea? All of this talk has taken focus away from other very real threats, one of which could spell global disaster. Read this link below:

http://www.cnn.com/2003/TECH/internet/03/05/offbeat.big.cheeto/index.html

This man has in his posession a giant Cheeto, people! It's roughly the size of a lemon. Do you have any idea what this means? How many more of these things are out there? Where did they come from? What do they want?

The rumor is that Saddam Hussein has obtained two giant Cheetos from black-market peddlers in the former Soviet Union. It is unclear how the Cheetos were smuggled across the border or how he intends to use them but we can be assured they will not be used for good. North Korea has recently removed safety devices from Cheeto manufacturing machines hoping that the dried cheese will clog the machine and eventually produce an unlimited supply of giant Cheetos. US surveillance has confirmed this plan and has a plan with British allies to mount a mission to capture the Cheetos. The US, who we all know are in posession of thousands of the destructive snack foods, are afraid that other countries will use th Cheetos for evil. An anonymous source at the White House had this to say, "Anyone with a little bit of smartitude would see the dangerousness of the giganterific Cheeto. That orange stuff stays on your hands forever. You can't wash it off!"

France has, notably, abstained from any support of the Chee-to mission, embarassed by the now infamous "Cheeto Incident of '72" in which the entire army of France surrendered to what they thought was a giant Cheeto. It later turned out to be a harmless tangerine.

So, everyone, please eat with caution and for safety purposes please send all of your Cheetos to me for testing.

gcomstock
March 6th, 2003, 3:22pm
Thank Gawd!

First Shakeman, with his heartfelt warning about the Rev Ike terrorist ploy, and now you MJ, with this Cheetos manifesto, have cleared the motes from our eyes, and directed our gaze on what truly is important...

A more profound scholar than me (or just someone who has bathed today) could probably direct us to appropriate Scripture or a passage in the Koran, that presages all this. Me, I'm almost too busy wringing my hands to type a response.

George "dangerously cheesy" Comstock

mjordan29
March 6th, 2003, 5:24pm
Actually it was all predicted in a quatrain by Nostradamus but I don't want to get into that....

garbanzobean
March 6th, 2003, 10:22pm
Thank you so much. I needed that laugh!:cheer:

FaithHopeJoy
March 6th, 2003, 10:49pm
What a funny story! I wish this was the only kind of news we had to hear!!
:smile3:

lander1205
March 6th, 2003, 10:54pm
Follow the shoe!!!

Current
March 6th, 2003, 10:55pm
Not the GIANT CHEETO!!!!! Please tell me it isn't true!! These are the things that my nightmares exist of. That and being suffocated by giant pieces of OM lunchmeat.:eek:

Scary Snarky toaD
March 6th, 2003, 11:05pm
Great thread -- almost DIDN'T read it because of the plethora of war threads already talking politics to death.

Wish there was a way to change the thread name just enough for no one else to ignore how good this is!

The "seasoning overload" comment in article had me rolling on the floor!

Not to mention having it glazed and put on display somewhere!!

:smile3: :laugh: :smile3: :laugh: :smile3:

daisy3600
March 6th, 2003, 11:28pm
He needs to send a photo of his giant Cheeto to Ripley's Believe It Or Not. I loved Ripley's books when I was growing up and would have been fascinated to see a giant cheeto next to the two headed snake or the rock in the exact shape of Indiana.

Come to think of it, Ripley's should put a photo the Fear Factor people eating cheese with maggots in it next to the giant cheeto-you know, in the Amazing Cheese section!:laugh: :laugh:

mjordan29
March 7th, 2003, 1:34pm
Does anyone remember that old "Kids in the Hall" sketch about the story of the giant crouton? There could be a link.....

vossart2000
March 7th, 2003, 2:02pm
That Cheeto is going to be only 30 miles from my home town. Maybe I'll go visit it when I take my kids back for spring break!

:cool3:

sweepmama
March 7th, 2003, 2:25pm
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

kbsocial
March 7th, 2003, 2:30pm
voassart you should do it - the booming Cheeto Capital Algona Iowa- whodathunk? It cracks me up because I have friends from there - now they have a claim to fame :laugh:

squirrely_g
March 7th, 2003, 3:17pm
I'm not quite sure, but I think that you need to get out a little more...

:laugh: