Fear of Toilets

[mommamia]

Help!

My 5 year old daughter is now afraid to flush the toilet. It is making her not want to use the toilet and have accidents. She doesn't want to use T.P. either, which is giving her some issues naturally....

It all has to do with the fear of it over flowing.

My son put toys in the toilet and then it overflowed for a couple of weeks (plunge..overflow...pluge...overflow) until Rotto Rooter came and fixed it.

Now it won't over flow but no matter how many times we show her it is safe to flush.....she is terrified.

She begs us to flush it for her.

How do I get her to use T.P. again and flush the toilet? I do not think just telling her she has to do it is working as she then holds it longer and has accidents.

[ouroboro]

Give her a reward.

Tell her you know it is scary but you'd like her to try really hard to remember to use TP everytime and to flush, if there are overflow problems not to worry to just come and get you as fast as she can. Tell her that if she does this every day for a week you will get her a special surprise. If she asks for help or wants you to do it for her them say I would feel really bad if you didn't get your special surprise because I helped you! Then actually take her to get something at the end of the week--my kids love beanie babies! Do this for 2 weeks and by then it is a habit again.

HTH. Works like a charm on my kids! :gvibes:

[mzi mom]

I don't know your daughter. However, if this were the situation with my daughter when she was that age, it would have been fear of making me angry or upset. I would have had to sit down with her to let her know that the toilet overflowing is not her fault. She did nothing wrong. If I do get upset about the toilet, I am angry at the toilet not her. I would probably do something silly to lighten things up a bit...oh like, shake my finger at the toilet and scold him for overflowing.

This advice would totally never work with my boys. For them, I would simply say that I don't care if the toilet overflows. They need to use toilet paper anyway.

My boys need me to be direct and simple. My daughter needs me to understand her feelings about the issue. I wish I could be more help with your daughter, but I really can't without knowing her. Good luck with it! :gvibes:

[Fidget]

My very patient friend got her daughter to start using toilet paper again by putting stickers on teh whole roll - tiny ones that wont clog the toilet - i think she used little stars and hearts. She used an empty tube and as she rerolled teh paper onto the empty tube she added the stickers.

I dont know what to tell you about the potty but you may want to get a little potty like for training to keep in the bathroom for her to use while you work on teh bigger issue. Let her use the little pooty, then dump it into the big one and flush it down. Maybe after a week or two of sucesses she'll try the big toilet again

Good luck

[Hhhyyyddd]

At that age, I was TERRIFIED of the overflowing toilet. Probably because I got yelled at for backing it up. I did the flush and run for at least a couple years. I outgrew it, she will too. Maybe just tell her she doesn't have to flush it.

[mommamia]

very good ideas thanks.

rewards, stickers, patience ....all pretty basic good ideas but not things I have done mostly because I keep thinking she will just 'get over it' pretty soon. I wouldn't care if she didn't flush so much as I want her to continue to use t.p.. So I will see if telling her she doesn't have to flush will help her.

I have never gotten mad at her for the overflow.....I do not think she fears my wrath or my husband's about that, I think it is she thinks the water will take over the house and we will all drown in it. She doesn't like the water to get too high in the tub either. Maybe swimming lessons and overcoming a fear of high water levels would help.

Making light of it is a good idea. I will see if we can make a joke out of it somehow (one she is in on of course).

Anyway thanks for the feed back! you guys are great. :gvibes:

[viokasegirl]

Help!

My 5 year old daughter is now afraid to flush the toilet. It is making her not want to use the toilet and have accidents. She doesn't want to use T.P. either, which is giving her some issues naturally....

.


Just a footnote-During all this toliet avoidance do make sure she does not get a urinary tract infection. Those are so easy for girls to come down with, and if she's having accidents, not wiping and trying to "hold it" for long periods she could be at risk. :frown3:

[mongoose]

Just a footnote-During all this toliet avoidance do make sure she does not get a urinary tract infection. Those are so easy for girls to come down with, and if she's having accidents, not wiping and trying to "hold it" for long periods she could be at risk. :frown3:


I agree.

You know what? My DD freaked about flushing. So I didn't make her until she got that out of her system. Figured I'd rather have her go and me flush than her hold it and end up with a UTI.

If the rewards don't work, tell her that she can go, wipe herself and then call her and you'll flush it.

Jennifer got actually scared 2 years ago at the hospital. The toilet flushed so violently, it terrified her. When she came home, it took about 5 months for her to get over it (she's still dealing with some fears from teh hospital).

But I did notice she would hold it MUCH too long so she woulnd't have to go in and flush. So, I just let her tell me and I flushed it. One day, she just started to do it again with no big deal.

Now if I could get DH to always flush.. blech

[nikkee]

have you explained why it was overflowing and that it was fixed? Is she scared of it flowing up while she's still sitting on it? that's a hard one, hope someones advice helps. :gvibes:

[nikkee]

honestly, I still kinda get freaked out sitting on the toilet in the dark, you know, snakes and stuff, it happens. :frown4:

[barb1210]

my 5yr old went through this.. Still wont go into a public restroom.. I have to drag her in kicking and screaming. and promise not to flush.. ( i flush anyway) But people must think i am beating her..lol... It is a lot better now that a year or so ago.. She did infact get a UTI from holding it in last year.. . And she does not want to repeat that.. So she will go now.. But doesnt like it..

[mzi mom]

I have never gotten mad at her for the overflow.....I do not think she fears my wrath or my husband's about that, I think it is she thinks the water will take over the house and we will all drown in it. She doesn't like the water to get too high in the tub either. Maybe swimming lessons and overcoming a fear of high water levels would help.

Making light of it is a good idea. I will see if we can make a joke out of it somehow (one she is in on of course).

Anyway thanks for the feed back! you guys are great. :gvibes:

I just want to clarify that I never thought that you got angry with her. I was only saying that my daughter is especially sensitive. It would be pretty typical of her to internalize the situation (me being serious, maybe panicked trying to find the right supplies, being upset with the toilet, etc) and assume that she did something wrong. I never thought for a moment that you got angry with your daughter.

I just thought that an overly sensitive child might feel some midguided guilt or somehow blame herself. My daughter could blame herself for a natural disaster a world away. She is a very deep feeler and a deep thinker.

I apologize if I sounded like I thought you had some culpability in your daughter's fear. I don't think that. :gvibes:

[mommamia]

:gvibes: no worries mzi mom. I didn't think you assumed anything at all. You are a very thoughtful communicator. I appreciate your posts very much.

[mzi mom]

Thank you. She gets the guilt issues from me. :gvibes:

[margarita_mama]

I thought I was the only one paranoid about this!
I think I saw something on TV a long time ago about a family who had lost their pet snake.
Guess where they found him? I always turn on the light at night and check! :yesyes:
honestly, I still kinda get freaked out sitting on the toilet in the dark, you know, snakes and stuff, it happens. :frown4:

[Ron C]

You know what? My DD freaked about flushing. So I didn't make her until she got that out of her system. Figured I'd rather have her go and me flush than her hold it and end up with a UTI.

Jennifer got actually scared 2 years ago at the hospital. The toilet flushed so violently, it terrified her. When she came home, it took about 5 months for her to get over it (she's still dealing with some fears from teh hospital).

But I did notice she would hold it MUCH too long so she woulnd't have to go in and flush. So, I just let her tell me and I flushed it. One day, she just started to do it again with no big deal.

Now if I could get DH to always flush.. blech

I agree, (except for the DH part) I would just let it work its why out of her system.

A little diffrent sanareo but we were in a hotel with our 4 year old son and the fire alarm went off. They were not able to turn it off for 15 to 20 minunts. Nothing we could do would calm him down after that when he saw a fire or smoke alarm, he would freak out just seeing one. I used to go into the hotel room after that and cover the alarm with a towel so he didn't see it. The only thing that helped was time and letting him get over it. We tried not to make a big deal about it, we thought that would make it worse and the fear last longer.

She will get over it.

I hate it when my son is scared and there's nothing I can do to make it go away, but on the positive side I do like being able to hold him and snuggle until he feels better :)