Kid's say the darnedest things thread

[Krystalyn]

So you're online a lot. And your kid says the darnedest thing. Very few people get out the baby book and put it in there. By the time you do get the baby book out, that memory is gone. Why not post it here!!! Then you can transfer it to the baby book.

Besides it could be very entertaining for other parents.

I swear to God I had one moment about a half hour ago, but I can't think of it now. I'll be sure to post it when I remember it and anything else he says. It's pretty funny because he's six years old and sometimes he "mirrors" me and starts talking like an adult with pretty big words.

[SheShe]

Great idea!

My 4 year old daughter Trisha just asked me during lunch...

"Mommy, can horses ride bicycles?"

[MrsM]

My 5 y.o. (4 at the time) saw an Arab man with a turban on his head and as loud as could be, said "Look Mommy - a genie!!!!" :laugh:

[bejeweledbugg]

my 2 1/2 half year old daughter is way to smart for her age and mimics me whenever possible like a little mother hen. my sister asked her for a kiss and my daughter says no. my sister then asks why? and my daughter replies cause i said so!!! its even funnier because my son who is 7 is always asking me why and my reply is because i said so.

[tiffnat]

When my daughter was little she told us she wanted to be a veternarian-when I asked why she said" because I want to help Vets!" she also said psgehtti with potato sauce (spaghetti with tomato sauce) until she was about 8-we didnt correct her because it was cute. :)

[brigidvw]

When my daughter was little she told us she wanted to be a veternarian-when I asked why she said" because I want to help Vets!" she also said psgehtti with potato sauce (spaghetti with tomato sauce) until she was about 8-we didnt correct her because it was cute. :)


Too funny!....

My 4 DD says yunyuns for onions and hostibal for hospital. I laugh every time!

[GreenMountainBoy]

I have a black panther cat tattoo on my arm. When we were at a church function, my son said "my daddy has a "titty" on his arm". He really had a hard time saying his "c's". I was very embarrassed.

[elainmir]

Mine totally embarrassed me a minute ago in Movie Gallery...we go to rent the new movies and are standing in line when apparently my " WE DO NOT PICK OUR NOSE" lecture kicked back into his little brain cuz he yells out OH MY GOSH MOMMY HOW GROSS, THAT MAN WAS DIGGING IN HIS NOSE! :laugh: I was more than mortified! Even worse was he was mimicking how the guy was digging in his nose........the customers in front of me LOST it. I had to have the " Lets Keep Certain Things to Ourselves" lecture. :laugh: I could have fallen over. So from now on he has to whisper things like that only to MOMMY.

[elainmir]

A friend of mine was sending his 3 yo daughter to the church preschool and one of the elderly deacons at church asked her, so Madison what school are you going to? She very sweetly replyed " Holy Titty" ( Holy Nativity). My friend almost passed out. :laugh:

[jofo3511]

My 12 year old is beginning to go through puberty. I commented to him about a slight mustache he is growing. He says " Mom, I got hair growing in places you wouldn't believe. " :laugh:

[msbabedoll]

Oh this is going to be a FUN thread!! My four year old son is ALWAYS saying something that is funny..........about a year ago, me, my 14 year old daughter and my 18 yo step daughter and my son were in a restaurant having dinner. The waitress bring this family in and they had a little girl about his age. I have NO idea what he was thinking (my son) but he blurts out......."WHAT THA HE77!", at first I could not tell what he said and my step daughter looked at me and was like.....did he just say what I thought he said and I was like.....nooo couldn't have been, but then not seconds later here it came again......"WHAT THA HE77!"....at this point the guy cleaning the table off beside us is about to fall in the floor laughing........I ended up having to take him to the bathroom and explain why WE DO NOT say such things! (Just for the record, I FINALLY figured out where he got that from......the first SPiderman movie!)

Thennnn the other day he is standing there and he's like.......Mommy, I got a girl friend, and I said oh yeah?....Yeah, her name is madison and I'm going to Marry her!....I'm like....ooookkkkayyy........and he proceeds to tell me that he can't marry her now, because he has to buy her a ring and flowers first! LOL

[taterbug]

Many years ago, my daughter was saying the Pledge of Allegiance "For Richard Stands" (instead of For Which it Stands); and then she asks "Who was Richard Stands anyway?"

[SheShe]

:laugh: These are hilarious!



The television remote has been dubbed...

Gizmote by Trevor

and

Ga Note by Trisha

[MrsM]

The other thing she said was when we were eating at Denny's, a guy with a cowboy hat, jeans etc. sat down too. She wanted to know where he parked his horse. Too cute!!! :gvibes:

[GreenMountainBoy]

We have quite a few woodpeckers in Vermont and a few that visit our yard. These are the big ones, like woody woodpecker, black with the red top.
My son came out in the back yard while we had friends over and said VERY loudly "daddy I just saw a pecker"

[duknuk]

When my oldest son was 5 years old, I was reading him a story before bedtime.

Probably for the 50th time.

He tugged on my sleeve to get my attention,

and announced solemnly, :sherlock:

"you have to take the hair out of your mouth before you put the bubble gum in."

It took a few minutes before I could resume the story.

[Lavish304]

When my oldest son was 5 years old, I was reading him a story before bedtime.

Probably for the 50th time.

He tugged on my sleeve to get my attention,

and announced solemnly, :sherlock:

"you have to take the hair out of your mouth before you put the bubble gum in."

It took a few minutes before I could resume the story.


SMART BOY!!! :laugh:

[guruwan2b]

When my brother was about 5, he had heard for years that he had gotten his blonde curls and blue eyes from the milkman. In church one Sunday a nice little old lady asked him "Where did you get those big blue eyes and all those blonde curls?" My sister and I (who were a couple of years older) both got great big eyes and held our breath and mom reached to cover his mouth, but didn't make it in time. He said "From the milkman!" And we beat a hasty retreat.....

[mjlj8]

when my son was 4 well last year he was talking to the gas station attendant about his pets she told him that she had a weiner dog he looked at her kinda cross eyed and said oh yeah my dog has a weiner too, i just walked away

[salymsmommy]

My 4 yr old nephew told my sister that he, his brothers, and his dad were from Texas, but she was from the moon.

My sister is a little crazy, but I didn't think she was alien!

[rootbeer]

when my son was 4 well last year he was talking to the gas station attendant about his pets she told him that she had a weiner dog he looked at her kinda cross eyed and said oh yeah my dog has a weiner too, i just walked away


ROTFLMAO !!!

[tamiwami]

when my oldest DS was about 8, he use to the call the Green Bay Packers the Packaneers. I guess he use to get them confused with the Buccaneers or something. :laugh:

He also use to call Pennsylvania - Penny Saliva. Too funny!

[rdhill007]

when my son was 4 well last year he was talking to the gas station attendant about his pets she told him that she had a weiner dog he looked at her kinda cross eyed and said oh yeah my dog has a weiner too, i just walked away


:rofl3: :rofl3: :rofl3: :rofl3:

[tamiwami]

when my son was 4 well last year he was talking to the gas station attendant about his pets she told him that she had a weiner dog he looked at her kinda cross eyed and said oh yeah my dog has a weiner too, i just walked away


too freaking funny! :laugh:

[sheiladee]

When my DD was almost 4, she told my father she wanted to be a pig because they don't have rules. When my dad asked if she had too many rules, she said yes "do this", "do that", "don't do this", blah, blah, blah. He just started cracking up and told about everyone he knew. I don't know where she got the "blah, blah, blah" part...probably t.v.

[tlcfromtn]

I have a black panther cat tattoo on my arm. When we were at a church function, my son said "my daddy has a "titty" on his arm". He really had a hard time saying his "c's". I was very embarrassed.
That remind me of a story. The neighbor's son, who was about 5 then, came over one day and when I answered the door he said "You have 2 titties?" I said "What???" He said " You have 2 titties? 2 of dem?" as he pointed to my 2 cats who were sitting at my feet. That was over 20 years ago and I still get a laugh from it.

[jesslag]

Just about an hour ago my son and my mom were making jello. My mom told him to stir it until the jello dissolved. While he was stirring she was cleaning up and he said Jeez gramma don't make me stir all day. I want some action. we about died laughing.

[duknuk]

this is gonna be a great thread!

[rocksea_lady]

My son was giving me a hard time last week and I looked at him and said why are you being such a bad boy. He looks up at me and says "Bad boy, bad boy, whatcha gonna do?" Well I couldn't stop laughing! DH got an ear full about watching cops... LOL

I keep a journal on my computer and since it is on most of the time. When he does something really silly I just open word and type it. I try to write a paragraph every month. It's much easier to keep all his firsts and stuff.

[cindy58]

When my son was in kindergarten he told me he was going to have three kids when he grew up -- one of his girlfriends wanted one kid, and the other girlfriend wanted two!

[ignoramoose]

w

He also use to call Pennsylvania - Penny Saliva. Too funny!

:rofl3: I love this. I think I might start calling it Penny Saliva, too! :laugh:

This is a great thread, you guys. Keep 'em coming. :gvibes:

[msbabedoll]

LOL !!!! These are SO funny!! My four year old calls teddy bears, "titty bears"

I tell ya something that is not really funny, but I had to wonder where in the WORLD he thought to say something like this from!

About a couple weeks ago he was at preschool and he got mad at his teacher and Told her that he was going to tell Scott (who is his step dad) to bring his gun down there and shoot her! :eek:

[alexmia]

My 2 year old daughter was sitting in the grocery cart and we were checking out. The elderly woman in line behind me was smiling at her, trying to get her to smile back. My daughter kind of looked around my body (I was putting things on the conveyer) and said to the woman in a very dramatic voice "Maam, just look at my BEAUTIFUL eyes." It was very funny.

[elainmir]

That remind me of a story. The neighbor's son, who was about 5 then, came over one day and when I answered the door he said "You have 2 titties?" I said "What???" He said " You have 2 titties? 2 of dem?" as he pointed to my 2 cats who were sitting at my feet. That was over 20 years ago and I still get a laugh from it.


Oh Dear God I almost hurt myself laughing at that one! That is to freakin funny right there!

[Maddgiggler]

I was talking to my MIL a couple of months ago how I can never get to see the Glamour magazine when it comes to the house. Either my husband or my 9yo son are always grabbing it. She looked puzzled and commented that she could understand why hubby would want to see it but not Nick. I explained to her that he looks at the "Do's and Don'ts" in the back...he wants to make sure he's not in the magazine. As I'm saying this Nick pipes in from the other room "I'm just checking my style". It was too funny.

[jenninshelby]

Good idea. This thread should get a stickey as many moms and new moms to be we have around here. :gvibes:

[twinangels]

We went to a family function and my boyfriends brother is mentally retarded, I explained to my twins what that is so they didn't ask me what's wrong with him in front of the family. My daughter thru a hissy fit at dinner and decided to pout on the couch while we ate. My son says at the table (in front of his family too) "Mommy, is Kendall being temporarily mentally retarded right now?"

[BobbysRedQueen]

Well it doesn't change as they become teens either. My 14 year old asked tonight "Was Bambi a Boy or Girl ?" She saw an ad for the dvd on tv and just had to know ! LOL I have no clue !!!! Can anyone tell her ? I feel pretty dumb not knowing this ! :royal:

[hisbabygirl]

when my son was 6 ( i was pregnant at the time with boy #3) I was talking to him about smoking....I said honey please, please,please promise moomy you will never, ever smoke..
it's bad for you...etc, etc, i went on and i said honey do you promise you won't smoke and he turned and looked at me and said well mommy i promise i won't get pregnant! omg i almost peed my pants laughing....lol

and then son #2 who was 5 at the time and in kindergarten, was good for a i love you, when in trouble at home...he would do something bad and get punished for it then came the i love you, your so nice etc... one day i asked his kindergarten teacher has jake pulled the old i love you when he's in trouble....no she said it wasn't i love you, it was nice shoes you have .....lol

kids are to funny

[hisbabygirl]

bambi was a male i believe

[dolphee]

Well it doesn't change as they become teens either. My 14 year old asked tonight "Was Bambi a Boy or Girl ?" She saw an ad for the dvd on tv and just had to know ! LOL I have no clue !!!! Can anyone tell her ? I feel pretty dumb not knowing this ! :royal:
A Boy.

[maudie]

Many years ago I was sitting on the porch with my 5 year old niece. We had just come in from the garden where we had picked some fresh vegetables. I had washed some radishes and was eating a few when my niece asked for one. She took one bite and said "would you hold this until it cools off?"

[twinangels]

:laugh: :sherlock: Many years ago I was sitting on the porch with my 5 year old niece. We had just come in from the garden where we had picked some fresh vegetables. I had washed some radishes and was eating a few when my niece asked for one. She took one bite and said "would you hold this until it cools off?"

[Krystalyn]

so I use my cell phone as my alarm clock.
I set it for 6:30 am and 6:45 am, in case I miss it or do it wrong.
I kept hitting the "snooze" button which gives me like 5 minutes.

So the phone essential "rings" 6 different times this morning.

And my son goes, "who keeps calling? Is it my teacher?"
*me holding back the laugh* "uh no"
"you know mommy, my teacher is reeeeal smart. Did you
know that? I bet it was him"

[mommamia]

I think I mentioned this here when it happened....but about a year ago my 4 year old answered the door (she learned NOT to do this any more) for the schwan's man.

I was in the shower, I jumped out when I heard the front door open....I peeked around the corner and heard her say to him "My mommy is naked and we can't buy food" .

:shocked4:


there was a time she would say "What the...." but that is all she said...never anything after the 'the' and we would get nervous about what we might have said that she would insert after the 'what the....' :sweat:

[RainGypsy]

I was watching a friends 3 year old once and we were at a park. She was running all over the place. She finally ran up to me, and I said "you look like you are out of breath". And she said "nope, I got more!"

:laugh:

[Gorilla Dad]

Two summers ago I was having an early morning Suburban Dad moment on the back deck with my then 2.5 year old. As she sat on my lap, we both listened to the birds chirping among themselves. I asked her what she thought the birds were saying. She took a moment, considered the question and said "HEY - THAT'S MY WORM !!!!"

[Krystalyn]

(son) "Do statues blink?"
(me) "no"
(son) "Do they move?"
(me) "no"
(son) "Then I guess he's not a statue."
(a second later sees a Ronald McDonald statue and says) "oh there's a statue!"



in car for 20 minutes, he's talking, talking, and talking.
I'm going with it and he says,
"I talk so much."

(I just chuckled) "sometimes"

[hls4881]

At a good friend's 30th surprise birthday party, another friend brought her very chatty little girl (she just turned 3). Her mother is pregnant... the little girl says to me "My baby had diarrhea today". Both me and my other friend start cracking up! We thought she was talking about the baby in her mom's belly. We approached her mom, laughingly, and asked her if she had diarrhea today! It was hilarious! She then explained that her "baby doll" had the ailments! hahaha

I hope this wasn't one of those "you had to be there" ones! I love this thread!!

[marathonnh]

My daughter went for her flu shot the other day when she saw the needle coming, she kept saying politily but pleadingly, "No Thank-you, NoThank-You."

One of my 4rth grade students asked me today if it is OK for a married person to date, because her 84 year old grandfather is very friendly when talking to all the older ladies at church."

[sweepnut]

My then 3 yo (4 now) LOVES food. One day she asks me "Mom, is there food in heaven?" I answered that everything she would ever need is in heaven. She's thinking...then she says "Mom, is there beverages (said it clear as day) in Heaven?" again I told her everything she needs is in heaven.

Today she took my husbands credit cards off of his dresser and said she was packing them to take them to heaven with her for daddy.

[Beth]

My 4 year old son said to me once
"What do I look like? A JACKASS?"
He heard that from Pinocchio.
Whoops.

[amy359]

This happened just a few days ago....

We were out eating when my 3 yr old DD has to use the bathroom. We were in a small diner where there is only 1 toilet per bathroom...men and womens. We stand waiting as a man comes to stand on his side to use to the bathroom. Since my DD is at butt level with adults she hears "noises" that we don't. In her usual loud voice she informs me "Momma...that man has poopy issues! Does he have to go poopy too?" The guy quickly left and went back to his table. After my DD used the bathroom we went back to our table after passing this poor guys table. As we walked by she loudly says again "Momma...that man has butt smell"


I'm sure I'll be posting alot since i have a toddler that is obsessed with butt,poop,farts and everything else disgusting..... proudly taught by my older DD's :worry:

[RockysJewel]

there all funny but this one made me laugh until I cried :laugh:


when my son was 4 well last year he was talking to the gas station attendant about his pets she told him that she had a weiner dog he looked at her kinda cross eyed and said oh yeah my dog has a weiner too, i just walked away

[Krystalyn]

there all funny but this one made me laugh until I cried :laugh:
Originally Posted by mjlj8
when my son was 4 well last year he was talking to the gas station attendant about his pets she told him that she had a weiner dog he looked at her kinda cross eyed and said oh yeah my dog has a weiner too, i just walked away

I know too funny!!!



But my son went to get a shot (may have been an immunization shot)
but I didn't tell him where we were going, because he had a shot in the
ER about 3 days prior and completely freaked out and screamed.

The lady looks at me and says, "you need to hold him, so I can give him a shot"
I had fear in my eyes and said, "I'm not holding him"
(He just turned 6 and was 50 pounds 49 inches <-98 percentile in height and weight (close enough)

so my son finally realizes what's about to happen. He freaks.
So they take him in the back room.

He is yelling. And they finally said, "maybe you should go out where he can't see you" (yeah I was sooo with that idea!!!)

there's 5 of them (3 big guys and 2 women), they close the door, you hear the screams...


they come out and the biggest guy looks perplexed and says, "he kicked our ass!!"

I started to laugh (but I quenched it and comforted my son)
I felt bad for him...

but he always says when we go to the doctor,
"I'll go to the doctor, but I'm NOT GETTING A SHOT!!!"

[Krystalyn]

"mommy why can't I see God?"
"If God is exists where is he?"
"When will I see God?"
"Does anyone see God?"
"Where is God now?"


"mommy I want to die to see god!"
Frack!
insert foot in mouth...

"no you won't die until you're 100"
"why did great grandpa die at 91"
Frack, Frack, Frack
*pulls hair*
"honey, let's not talk about God right now"

"but, I want to see him"
"you can't"

*pulls more hair*
*thinks maybe santa is better *

[Ravin]

This is a great thread and really makes me think of my neice and nephew.

A couple of years ago, I had to run in a store with my neice. I had one of those long bohemian skirts on. My neice would really clinge to me when someone would look at her. Well, some guy waved at her. Up she lifted my skirt and put it over her head! :shocked4: I almost died. LOL

My nephew that is 8 now, has always been a serious little boy. One day after he had 2 birthday parties. I said boy, this has been a busy day. He said yeah. I said what a busy bee you are. He looked at me with this serious look on his face and said "GEEZ Louise Sissy, I am not a bee. I am alittle boy. LOL. I couldn't help just laughing at how serious he was. :laugh:

[duknuk]

Well it doesn't change as they become teens either. My 14 year old asked tonight "Was Bambi a Boy or Girl ?" She saw an ad for the dvd on tv and just had to know ! LOL I have no clue !!!! Can anyone tell her ? I feel pretty dumb not knowing this ! :royal:

Bambi grew up to have antlers just like his father.

(Last scene in the movie)

[BobbysRedQueen]

:laugh: Thanks all for the insight on Bambi ! I can tell my daughter now he's a boy and at least I won't feel so dumb ! :royal:

[Lavish304]

My DD (2) was in line at the store with her Grandmother fighting over who going to get the money from her Grandma. When my DD was asked why she needed the money, her reply was, "To pay the pizza guy!!!"
My mother told me that once I was done working that I had better start making pizza at home with her.

[mzi mom]

I keep a journal of goofy stuff that my kids say. I put the funniest ones in our Christmas newsletter. These are the ones that I have collected so far for 2006.

Z – “Mom, can you get my coat?”
Mom – “Where is it?”
Z – “It’s up there hooking.”


M – “My high is 59 burps!”

M – “Why are there band-aids on the wall?”
(My 5-year-old (I) was having a "creative" day yesterday. He not only decorated the wall with band-aids, he also "painted" his TV, several DVDs, some shelves, and his bedspread with toothpaste. :worry2: )

Mom – “That doesn’t match.”
Z – “Well, I want to be different!”

[jesslag]

The Hanson song Mmmm Bop was just on the radio. Now my 20 month old is walking around saying mmmm baaa for the last 20 minutes.

[jesslag]

Ok now I have another one. My son's b day is the end of this month. So I asked him what kind of party he wanted to have. He said a Lazy Town party at his house. Then I asked him what kind of food he wanted at his party. He wants popsicles, combos, and walnuts!!!I said how about pizza and he said NO! I have to have walnuts. I don't think he has ever even had an actual walnut. He cracks me up.

[Trix]

My 5 y.o. (4 at the time) saw an Arab man with a turban on his head and as loud as could be, said "Look Mommy - a genie!!!!" :laugh:
This has me in tears of laughter!!! :joker:

[tamiwami]

Tonight, I was telling him to take a shower, pick up his clothes, do his homework, etc....and he turns to me and said " with all these orders, I feel like I work at Burger King"!

I tried not to laugh, but that was funny!

[goodfairy7]

I love it!

my son was about 1 /12 or so, the sun was setting and pink, purple, blue, so pretty, he said "mommy look, someone colored the sky" awww....

Ill have to think of some more, he's a funny little guy.

Oh,
We were in a resturant last year and out the window he saw a FedEX truck, he started jumping up an down screaming at the top of his lunkg "Mommy, the PS man!!! the PS man!!!"

[djr58]

My neice has always loved to sing - pop rock, country...you name it.
When she was little, she was quite good at getting the tune right, but the lyrics
were another matter!

One night at a restaurant she started singing "Wichita Lineman."
But Instead of "I am a lineman for the county"
she belted out "I am the lining in your panties."


I don't think I need to explain how loud and long we laughed!

[FiestyRedhead]

I already love this thread, its soooo funny!!

I have a little boy that turned 3 last month, and he was telling me about him and his cousin who is also 3, and he said "Jake & I are COOOOL" and did this funky little hand motion, then he said "WE ROCK!" so I'm like where did that come from?!?!?!? and he said "my mouth" lol

Also, I volunteer at church with a group of kiddos, and this one little boy is 6, and a little shorter than the other kids. We were talking last weekend, and he told me its hard being short, and I told him I understood, because I'm short too (not quite 5' tall), so he said, hey..how old are you, 46??? I said, no, I'm 30, and he looked me up and down and said well are you an elf??? lmao, I was rolling! Kids are great.

[luckyone91]

My 2 year old came running up to me the other night as I walked in the door after work. He held up a little Tinker Bell toy from McDonalds, and said "She's got a chest!" :fairy3: He was so happy to point that out to me. I had to laugh.

[jill92802]

My son Daniel missed a lot of 'firsts' because of his asthma when he was little: first field trip, first school play, first picture day. He was really upset about that picture day. He said now 'no one would know he went to kindergarten!' Trying to reassure him, I told him not to worry - he could have his picture taken on make-up day. Shocked, he stopped crying ... "You mean, I'll have to wear MAKE-UP?!?" :shocked4: :rolleyes2 :laugh:

[lemons]

OK DS was about 8 (14 now)
I told him to stop talking back, he says "I'm not talking back, I'm talking this way" (pointing to the front)

DS 4..well he's been on a roll. Night in the car not paying attention he says"aren't you gonna asker your phone" what??? The song on the raido was my ring tone.

ds 4 desides to call DH a a$$yholey....

he gets his hugs and kisses from walmart, meijer, and mud puddles, buys them by the bag fulls. If you ask he "might" have one.....if not he's out and wont have any until we go to the store.,

[tweety]

Sometimes I turn on oldies in the car and when my daughter was two, we were listening to Frankie Avalon's "Venus." Later we are shopping in a grocery store when I hear a tiny voice blurt out, "Pe-nus, oh Pe-nus! Penus if you will..." She had a huge smile on her face and seemed to be awaiting praise.

Even though she didn't quite say "penis," we left quickly.

[elainmir]

mine seems to think that wallyworld is THE place to embarrass your mommy! Yesterday he was NOT being nice in wallyworld and I told him he was losing an hour of computer time, *he LOVES his puter* , he kept not being nice so I warned him he was about to lose more computer time, apparently I had the parental tone of voice because he gets upset and says very loudly well MOMMY if you don't want to talk NICE to me then you lose POKER time on the Puter! :laugh: This lady turns and looks at me like I'm a parasite! :shocked4:
Have you ever had those moments like that and desperately want to explain to the person! I wanted to say hey I play free poker with play money on a website! The woman left quickly!

[willows00]

This is a great thread and really makes me think of my neice and nephew.

A couple of years ago, I had to run in a store with my neice. I had one of those long bohemian skirts on. My neice would really clinge to me when someone would look at her. Well, some guy waved at her. Up she lifted my skirt and put it over her head! :shocked4: I almost died. LOL

My nephew that is 8 now, has always been a serious little boy. One day after he had 2 birthday parties. I said boy, this has been a busy day. He said yeah. I said what a busy bee you are. He looked at me with this serious look on his face and said "GEEZ Louise Sissy, I am not a bee. I am alittle boy. LOL. I couldn't help just laughing at how serious he was. :laugh:

omg, my dd did that to me last year. we were at my inlaws and she was acting shy and pulled up my blouse to hide under. i flashed my boobies at my inlaws. i could die! worse yet, i was sitting down so i'm sure they got a good look at my flabby fat stomach. ugh.

[eskhaton]

When my son was very little he had an inexplicable fear of shabby-looking people on the roadside. I never had a clue where it came from. Any time we would be parked at a red light where there was an apparently homeless person anywhere in sight, he would reach out for me, crying, "Dad, help me! It's a bum!" The clinging and the "help me!" wouldn't stop until we'd left the red light far behind. (Far from wealthy myself, I was working my way through college, delivering newspapers and doing odd jobs. Once, after witnessing one of these ludicrous performances first hand, a classmate of mine said, "Jeez, maybe he was a Republican in a former life.")

[Luana2sea]

Mommy you are fat. Said my sweet 5 year old girl!!!

[gotcha]

While standing outside the garage one day with my 4YO nephew I pointed out to him that even though it was light outside that you could still see the moon. He looked up and studied the pale moon in the lighted sky and very seriously said "Oh Oh somebody forgot to turn it out".

[dwazdip]

Ah, the toddler years! This thread has me totally cracking up!

Yesterday, after my 3 yr old had pleaded long enough to wear me down, I gave in and let her have a piece of candy. As she walked away with a big smile on her face, she asked me what kind of candy it was. I told her it was Laffy Taffy. She said, "Yeah. Cause it's gonna make me laugh."

A few months ago, I took her with me to buy some desperately needed new clothes. We were in the crowded department store dressing room when she said, in her loudest voice EVER, "Mom, you have a big hole in your underwear." I tried to laugh it off, saying, "No I don't honey." And of course she said, "YES YOU DO MOM! IT'S RIGHT THERE!" Serves me right for arguing with a 3 year old.

[granta]

Yesterday we were driving around in our mini-van with our 3 DD's. The oldest (she's 5 y.o.) tells her 3 y.o. sister to put on her ear muffins so that they could watch a video without dis-rubbing Mommy and Daddy.

[brigidvw]

This is just too funny!!! All these stories have me cracking up!

MY 4 YO DD was acting goofy one day and I said, "Oh, your just full of mud!" She replies in a very serious tone. "No I am not. I don't even like mud!!"

My 11 YO DS is very dipolmatic when it comes to asking for something he wants. He starts off with how nice I look and what a great Mom I am, but his biggest compliment was "Mom, don't worry, you're not fat, you're ROUND! :laugh:

[duknuk]

My neice has always loved to sing - pop rock, country...you name it.
When she was little, she was quite good at getting the tune right, but the lyrics
were another matter!

One night at a restaurant she started singing "Wichita Lineman."
But Instead of "I am a lineman for the county"
she belted out "I am the lining in your panties."


I don't think I need to explain how loud and long we laughed!

It's not that often that I bust out laughing this loud. :laugh:

[duknuk]

When my son was very little he had an inexplicable fear of shabby-looking people on the roadside. I never had a clue where it came from. Any time we would be parked at a red light where there was an apparently homeless person anywhere in sight, he would reach out for me, crying, "Dad, help me! It's a bum!" The clinging and the "help me!" wouldn't stop until we'd left the red light far behind. (Far from wealthy myself, I was working my way through college, delivering newspapers and doing odd jobs. Once, after witnessing one of these ludicrous performances first hand, a classmate of mine said, "Jeez, maybe he was a Republican in a former life.")

That was rich! I'm still laughing :laugh: :laugh:

[Ravin]

omg, my dd did that to me last year. we were at my inlaws and she was acting shy and pulled up my blouse to hide under. i flashed my boobies at my inlaws. i could die! worse yet, i was sitting down so i'm sure they got a good look at my flabby fat stomach. ugh.


I so feel for ya. I didn't even want to think what everyone around got a look at. It happened so fast, you just don't have time to prepare for the flash. But, she thought it was funny.

[Lavish304]

A few months ago, I took her with me to buy some desperately needed new clothes. We were in the crowded department store dressing room when she said, in her loudest voice EVER, "Mom, you have a big hole in your underwear." I tried to laugh it off, saying, "No I don't honey." And of course she said, "YES YOU DO MOM! IT'S RIGHT THERE!" Serves me right for arguing with a 3 year old.


That will teach you!!! :laugh:

[susieand]

haha these have me laughing like crazy.

The 5 year old I babysit is a riot. He just learned to read and is pretty advanced for his age. One night he read a children's book about the human body; the next day he says to me, "Susie, I have to go to the bathroom. You know why? Because I ate food and it traveled through my large intestine and it's ready to come out" hahaha I laughed like crazy. His mom said, "I think Sammy wants to me a Dr." and he came back with "Noo I want to be an astronaut so I can send my sister to the moon"

Another funny thing is, they are a Jewish family. So one day Sammy is running around the house going "I'm Jesus Christ! I'm Jesus Christ!" and I ask him why on earth he's saying that. He replies, "Oh my mommy says it all the time; she says, Jesus Christ Sammy!"

He and his 3yo sister call their mom "chopped liver" when they're mad at her. I guess like "What am I, chopped liver?" haha I love these kids!

[goodfairy7]

My son had just potty trained, and was pooping on the potty one day, when he screamed for me to come in he said "Theres lizards in the toilet" I said, thats your poop, he looked at me and said "Im Poopin LIZARDS!?!" :laugh:

[jesslag]

My son had just potty trained, and was pooping on the potty one day, when he screamed for me to come in he said "Theres lizards in the toilet" I said, thats your poop, he looked at me and said "Im Poopin LIZARDS!?!" :laugh:
LOL I have a poop story too! Once my son said he had to go, so I was "keeping him company" in there. He all of a sudden said he didn't have to go anymore. I asked him why not. So he said " the poop is sleeping" then he said " WAKE UP POOP!!" like a million times . Then he said I think it wants to sleep in a little bit mom. I was cracking up! I wish I had it on tape cause I woulda sent it to America's Funniest Home Videos.

[Moonstoney]

:) Last night my soon-to-be five yr old rolls over in the bed and said. "Mommy..my little boobs are getting smaller and smaller." I made a laughing noise and told her I was sorry, but that she will have them bigger when she is a grown up, and not to worry about that now! :laugh:

Then just a while ago she told daddy he was in trouble, brought him to her room and sat down with him and said "Lets talk about what you did that was naughty" and preceded to tell him that she was mad that he shot her buckets(garden plastic buckets with a pellet gun) and he said, "I bought you new ones!" she says "Well they are too big!":smile3:

[natisrents]

For Christmas we got my daughter a bunch of panties, to help encourage potty training. I was taking them out of the packages saying "oh these are cute they have kitties on them, and these have scooby, etc".. And my daughter, who was laying on her belly on the floor playing with a new toy said "I don't want to hear anymore about my panties. I'm trying to concentrate, and you're all blah, blah, blah, about my panties!" (same child that refers to kiwi's as peewee's-- and yes, she's yelled in public, I don't like peewees when asked if she wanted a strawberry/kiwi drink.)

[Frogface]

Thennnn the other day he is standing there and he's like.......Mommy, I got a girl friend, and I said oh yeah?....Yeah, her name is madison and I'm going to Marry her!....I'm like....ooookkkkayyy........and he proceeds to tell me that he can't marry her now, because he has to buy her a ring and flowers first! LOL

This reminded me of when my daughter was about six. She was riding in the back seat of the car and said "I have a boyfriend". "Congratulations!" was my reply what's his name. Her response "I don't know! Gee, Mom!". (universal disgusted look with the eye roll from her) I almost wet my pants. She got in the car the next day and I asked her how her boyfriend was "We broke up.". Did you ever find out his name. "No." I will never know the name of my daughter's first boyfriend. LOL.

[retellingstories]

My now 9 year old is FULL of seemingly endless quips and unintentional humor. One of my favorite happened when he was about 3. I was using the restroom (why do they always have to tell you something when you're on the pot?) and was in the process of pulling my pants up when he busted in the bathroom. Apparently, seeing his mother in her underwear shocked him, and his stopped his rambling mid sentence. "Mom!" He said in disbelief. "I never knew you were so white!" I looked down at my pale white legs and laughed. "Yes" I said, "I am very white." He looked a little perplexed, then bowed and shook his head. He then raised his hands about 2 feet apart and said, "No, no, mom, not white, WIDE. I never knew you were SO WIDE!" I quietly shut the door and laughed myself silly.

[jjarvis]

I walked outside yesterday to check my mail and a boy about 7 years old or so was playing with a skateboard on the sidewalk. I just woke up having slept the morning and afternoon after working overnight. I have never seen him before. He asked me 4 random questions and said nothing else:

Kid: "Are you mean?"
Me: "Not really."

Kid: "Can you teach me how to skateboard?"
Me: "I cannot skateboard." (I am 5-10 and weigh 230 pounds-not skateboarding material)

Kid: "Can you make me a cd?"
Me: "Sure, what music do you want?"

Kid: "Can I stay the night with the boy that lives across the street?"
Me: "I don't know, ask his mom."


It was kind of weird that he asked only these questions and he said nothing else, but I found it funny.

[dwazdip]

I walked outside yesterday to check my mail and a boy about 7 years old or so was playing with a skateboard on the sidewalk. I just woke up having slept the morning and afternoon after working overnight. I have never seen him before. He asked me 4 random questions and said nothing else:

Kid: "Are you mean?"
Me: "Not really."

Kid: "Can you teach me how to skateboard?"
Me: "I cannot skateboard." (I am 5-10 and weigh 230 pounds-not skateboarding material)

Kid: "Can you make me a cd?"
Me: "Sure, what music do you want?"

Kid: "Can I stay the night with the boy that lives across the street?"
Me: "I don't know, ask his mom."


It was kind of weird that he asked only these questions and he said nothing else, but I found it funny.

This just struck me as fricking hilarious!!!! Reminds me of that scene in Uncle Buck when his nephew is asking him all those questions. Too flippin funny! (Way to go with the snappy comeback answers, btw!)

[mum23]

Well it doesn't change as they become teens either. My 14 year old asked tonight "Was Bambi a Boy or Girl ?" She saw an ad for the dvd on tv and just had to know ! LOL I have no clue !!!! Can anyone tell her ? I feel pretty dumb not knowing this ! :royal:


OMG! Too funny! My 13 yo dd saw the commercial and told me that Bambi was a boy (based on the commercial), but she had always thought Bambi was a girl (because of the name).

[mum23]

My now 9 year old is FULL of seemingly endless quips and unintentional humor. One of my favorite happened when he was about 3. I was using the restroom (why do they always have to tell you something when you're on the pot?) and was in the process of pulling my pants up when he busted in the bathroom. Apparently, seeing his mother in her underwear shocked him, and his stopped his rambling mid sentence. "Mom!" He said in disbelief. "I never knew you were so white!" I looked down at my pale white legs and laughed. "Yes" I said, "I am very white." He looked a little perplexed, then bowed and shook his head. He then raised his hands about 2 feet apart and said, "No, no, mom, not white, WIDE. I never knew you were SO WIDE!" I quietly shut the door and laughed myself silly.

LMAO! That's hysterical!!!! :)

[Krystalyn]

Mommy you are fat. Said my sweet 5 year old girl!!!

mine said that to me.


he also says real loud in public, "that person is old"
to which I have to say, "how would you like someone calling you a baby? people don't like ...

[Krystalyn]

I just got off the phone with my mom.

And she took him for a walk when she was down there.
I asked her if he said anything.

She goes, "he was running on ______ Blvd. I told him not to"
He started to look tired and said,
"It sure is hard chasing cars" :laugh:

editted to add: let's be clear (they were on the sidewalk)

[meeeee]

my DS who is 11 had a funny one sort of yesterday

He looks at me in the car out of the blue and says mommy I want to be creamated
Shock I say why
Well if someone knocks me in the head and I am still alive just out cold I don't want to wake up in the casket buried under ground
Well still shock I explained the baulming process to him to ease his mind sort of I think

[meeeee]

:laugh: Thanks all for the insight on Bambi ! I can tell my daughter now he's a boy and at least I won't feel so dumb ! :royal:


a boy he grows antlers in the end :laugh:

[blfbrat]

When I ran a Montessori school, I received a phone call from Mitchell's mother. She called to say she was very upset with the school. I calmly asked what was the problem. She explained that on the way home from school, she asked 4 year old Mitchell what he had done at school today. His answer was "Me and Jake played with matches".

I told her I was unaware of anything like that happening at school. I asked to speak with Mitchell. I asked him what had happened at school, he said "Me and Jake played with matches". So I asked him exactly how do you play with matches, he said "you know that card game that you match up, you know matches".

His mother quickly apologized and hung up.

[goodfairy7]

:laugh:
Today my son was running around here naked, and I noticed he was putting a wooden spoon where his penis is, and making a shooting motion.
I asked him what he was doing and he proudly said
"This is my new penis, its bigger, so I can pee wherever I want." :rofl3:

[Tarah716]

I don't have any kids yet, but my cousin said this when he was about 5 years old

When my uncle (his dad) would get angry at him, he would use his full name "Griffin Thomas" to get his attention that this was serious. One day Griffin decided that he was angry at his dad and said "Daddy Thomas!"

Another time, Griffin was mouthing off and (jokingly) my uncle made a fist and waved it saying "You want one of these?" He very innocently got off his chair, walked over to his dad and proceded to try and open his fist. When he succeeded, he looked up and said "What?" His fist was empty.

[triple*eee]

When my son was in sixth grade, he went out for pop warner football. He had to mold his mouth pc. so I told him he needed to boil some water and drop the mouth pc in it for a few seconds.

He put some water in a pan, turned on the stove. A couple minutes later he looked at me and asked "When do you know it's boiling? " :worry:

[Madariah]

My DD is now 6 1/2 going on 30. When she was three she was very into new words. At Christmas time we were singing carols and she wanted to know what Hark meant (Hark, the Herald Angels Sing). So I explained that it sort of translated to "Listen, I hear the angels singing". This was her new word for a week. She said it every chance she got....Hark, it's the mailman etc. One day we were at the store and she used it correctly in front of quite a few people. One of them being an elderly priest asked her what Hark meant. With a dead serious face she says "You know Father, Hark is what the Angels Named Harold Sing but it also means listen". He got the biggest kick out of that as did everyone else.

Before Christmas she came in all dramatic and announced to my DH and I that she was dying. She didn't feel good and proceeded to give us a laundry list of symptoms. I was trying to be supportive and said we should go to the doctor. She said she didn't need to because she saw it on a movie and new exactly what she had....She said she was dying of ZUCHINIA!!!! :O)

[Krystalyn]

... When she was three she was very into new words...One of them being an elderly priest asked her what Hark meant. With a dead serious face she says "You know Father, Hark is what the Angels Named Harold Sing but it also means listen".

:rofl3: :rofl3:

[jesslag]

This morning my mom called and asked if Francesco wanted to sleep over tonight so of course he was super excited. About an hour later he pushed his brother over for eating some of his graham crackers. I told him he better apologize to his brother. So he said and what if I don't. I said then you won't be going to Grammas tongiht. Then he said hmmmmm I guess I better apologize then--- (to his brother he said) SORRY-DUMBA$$. I really tried hard not to laugh and look angry but I was talking to my mom on the phone and she busted out laughing and of course then so did I.

[goodfairy7]

He's calling me right now...

"Moooooom, come look at my pooooooop!"
:rofl3: :rofl3: :rofl3:

[pcmiller25]

When my son was 4, my friend commented that she was old (she's 38). He said, "You're not old, Mrs. Sulane, you just LOOK old".

Also, he wanted to hear my husband sing. So he sang to him a litte and then my little one said, "So, Daddy, that's why you sing so low in church".

[Krystalyn]

my son comes up to me and gives me a hug and says
"I want to play the trombone!!!"

I say, "How do you know what a trombone is?"
he says, "oh it was on my cartoons."


tonight we are eating soup and sandwich and he says
"the soup is too hot"

so I was going to teach him to blow on it with the spoon.
He says, "oh I know that this is how you do it; I saw it on cartoons"


damn when did cartoons replace me?

[xparisdreamso]

When my sister was younger she would always have something smart to say.. something intelligent to say about something that you wouldn't think that age would have a clue about. When asked 'where did you get that from?", she would say 'From my brain"

When she was about 6 or so, she said that she wanted to work at Taco Bell so she could swim in the cheese.

On vacation in FL, dad had put powder on her butt after a shower. When mom got out of the bathroom, she goes up to mom and says proudly 'My butt smells good.. smell my butt."

[Susan]

MY 4 YO DD was acting goofy one day and I said, "Oh, your just full of mud!" She replies in a very serious tone. "No I am not. I don't even like mud!!"

That reminds me of something similar our now 13 yr old DD said. She was acting totally weird one day - she must have been 5 or 6, and DH says "She's a bad seed" (jokingly), but she started crying and said - "I am not a seed, I'm a girl!!" :laugh:

[tiffanylane]

My little girl Mckenzie ,5, came in the bathroom while i was putting lotion on my stomach and replied when she saw me " Oh my gosh, Mommy! YOur belly is really fat" i just stood there stunned for a minute and my husband about fell off the bed laughing.

[Krystalyn]

so my son thinks he is a fabulous singer.
I'm not going to tell him he has problems with vibrato, pitch, laranyx, timing, etc.

now I suck as well in all the areas. I know it. He hates when I sing.
Yes I'm an American Idol Reject who never had the delusion that I could be an idol.

so he starts singing.
then I copy him
we go around for a while and he interupts me and goes "shhhhh. I'm gooder."
I said, "no I'm the best." he knows when I tease him.
he says "they will throw fruit at you." :laugh:

I just busted up.
can't exactly argue with him.

[floridamom1990]

When my son was about 2, my husband and I were talking about the new daycare that he went to that day. Our conversation then turned to an unfortunate miscarriage that I just had. My son came running into the room and said, "Mommy, my teacher's name is NOT Miss Carriage, it's Miss Trisha." He can truly make me smile even in the worst of times. :gvibes:

[meikman]

I had to take my youngest to the Dr. and I have to take the girls along with me. The Dr was talking about my sons blocked tear duct and that he would need to see the specialist if it doesn't clear up by 6 months. Then she starting saying boy Joshua you have a lot of... and my dd finished eye poop. I about died. The Dr reply Oh Yea your secret is out. Of Course my dd had to repeat it "Joshua always has a lot of eye poop."

[brigidvw]

This morning my mom called and asked if Francesco wanted to sleep over tonight so of course he was super excited. About an hour later he pushed his brother over for eating some of his graham crackers. I told him he better apologize to his brother. So he said and what if I don't. I said then you won't be going to Grammas tongiht. Then he said hmmmmm I guess I better apologize then--- (to his brother he said) SORRY-DUMBA$$. I really tried hard not to laugh and look angry but I was talking to my mom on the phone and she busted out laughing and of course then so did I.
:rofl3: :rofl3: :rofl3:


that reminds of the time my DS (about 5 YO at the time) was helping me put grocerys away. He picked up a bunch of banana and announces "Wow those are some big a$$ banana's" I lost it!! :laugh:

[1morx]

I was giving my twins a bath and Lauren hit Hailey on the head for something, I said "Lauren, that sure was mean, please don't do that again." And then, matter of factly, she said "Oh yeah Mom, I forgot to tell you, they made up a new job - -- the mean sister's job,-------------------------------------- and I got it!" :halo: I laughed for DAYS over that one!

[natisrents]

Last year my son, who was 10 at the time, got really into R.L. Stine's Goosebumps books. One day he asked me if I knew who R.L. Stine was and I said Yes, I read his books when I was younger. My son's eyes got real big, and he stated "my God, R.L. Stine must be dead then by now" :worry: My best friend thought it was hilarious... until I reminded her that she is the same age as I am.

[Krystalyn]

a few months ago we went to sushi,

and they have a huge salt water tank and he get's all excited and screams, "there's NEMO and DORI!!!"

[dark_zino]

My nephew Henry is always saying the cutest stuff.

I think the cutest thing ever was for his 3rd birthday party his grandpa rented a moon walk for the party. So, Henry goes over to the area where there's a table with food that's right next to the moon walk. My husband says "Henry, look what grandpa got for you". Henry didn't care about the moon walk, he went to the table with the food and said "Chips" and proceeded to ignore everything but the big bowl of potato chips. We all got a pretty good laugh out of that.

Sometimes he'll pretend to be a grownup and that's really cute too.

[jesslag]

Just now Francesco just ran out here and was like "What's WRONG WITH MY ARM???!?!?" He totally freaked me out and I was like what.... so he told me to touch his arm that there was something really hard in there. I said uh honey that's your arm bone. Then he said boy I wish i could take out my bone and see why it has to be so hard. Maybe he will be a doctor one day....

[jesslag]

Ok my friend just told me this one. Her son who just turned two, wanted her to make his crayons "naked" cause he doesn't like their shirt. He is too funny. She wondered why he always ripped off all of the paper all the time.

[Krystalyn]

Ok my friend just told me this one. Her son who just turned two, wanted her to make his crayons "naked" cause he doesn't like their shirt. He is too funny. She wondered why he always ripped off all of the paper all the time.

:laugh:

my son was in a restaurant and did that to all the crayons and said really loud, "look mom, their naked!!! The crayons are naked!!!

[mrsmariahc]

I posted this story a while back in another thread, but it deserves to be posted in here too. This happened not long after we got our little Jack Russell puppy. It's my 2 year old I'm referring too.

A funny story, she has gotten testy when my 2 year old keeps trying to pick her up. Well, one night he was trying to tell her good night and I heard her bark and all of the sudden he started crying. I mean real tears, all to pieces. I ran over frantically....just knowing that she had bitten him. I didn't see any marks or anything, so I asked him what was wrong. He said "Camo say shut up". Just as sincere with tears streaming down his little face. I wish I had gotten that on video camera. It was priceless!

[dark_zino]

At my birthday party last year, my aunt made a collage with some childhood photos of me. My little nephew who was almost 3 at the time walked up to it and started pointing to one of the pictures and saying "There's Ruby" over and over. He has a little friend named Ruby who looks a lot like I did when I was little. So, his mom said "No, that's Aunt Heidi when she was little". To which Henry replied "Oh, yeah..Aunt Heidi looks like Ruby".

[Krystalyn]

my teacher says as I picked up my son , "oh he fell in the mud"

and my son walked up to me today, his face covered in mud
his pants and sweatshirt in mud.

I just looked at him and the teacher said, "I said ______, stay
out of the mud and before I could finish 'mud', he had fallen in the mud"

I looked at the teacher and shook my head, "That's _________"

[jesslag]

Um Vala are you speaking in code?? Could you fill in the blanks for me I have placenta brain going on lol :laugh:

Here is one that made me cry the other day. My mom was visiting on Tuesday and we were eating lunch. My son said Gram why didn't your mom come to my birthday party? (this was weird cause it was my grams b day on tuesday but she passed away 5 yrs ago) So my mom said she is dead and we can't see her anymore ( we explained death to him but I don't think he really gets it) anyhow he said well maybe i can talk to her again and tell her to come next year. She came for Christmas remember she had on that purple dress with the pretty flowers. I told her I liked it and she said it was her favorite. So, my mom started to freak out cause my gram was totally buried in her favorite purple flowered dress ( I didn't know this cause it was a closed casket and my mom never said anything) anyhow it freaked us out for a while. And what I think is totally weird is that I got pregnant with Chesco one week after my gram passed away.

[Krystalyn]

Um Vala are you speaking in code?? Could you fill in the blanks for me I have placenta brain going on lol :laugh:

....
_____________= my son's name :laugh:
you know IRL
when PG the blood that supposed to go to your brain gets
diverted to the baby. :laugh:

[jesslag]

lol thanks Vala. I am totally awful this time.

[Krystalyn]

lol thanks Vala. I am totally awful this time.

tell me about it.
I was working as an engineer for 32 weeks of my pregnancy.
I was hella stupid!!! :laugh:

[daskds]

So I get to the kids school this morning and there are a couple of presents on the teacher's desk. I bent down and asked my DD whose B-day is it? She says Mrs Watson. Now she is just 4 1/2. I told her she needs to tell Mommy when it is the teachers B-day and she said 'But I just did Mommy!' :laugh:

Luckily I had some time at lunch and went and got the teacher a GC.

Ok my friend just told me this one. Her son who just turned two, wanted her to make his crayons "naked" cause he doesn't like their shirt. He is too funny. She wondered why he always ripped off all of the paper all the time.
My son always takes the paper off the crayons, but he never said anything about naked! Maybe I should ask him about it. Must be a boy thing...

[sparkleygem]

Today my DD said she had a crack in her toe. And she said "there must be a bird in there, that's why there's a cwack in my foot". :rofl3:

[Mare]

Here's a couple recent Jesse-isms:

I got him out of the shower the other night and put the towel around him, and he says, "Now I am Count Jesscula!" in his best vampire accent, of course.

This morning, we discovered that Layla had left the milk out all night. I didn't see it because I actually went out for once last night. So I say, "Layla, Mommy lives for milk. How am I going to survive? How am I going to drink my coffee?"
Jesse chimes in, "Mom, I feel your pain."

Mare "no, I don't got milk" Rivera :cool3:

[goodfairy7]

When my son and I are playing sometimes I'll tell he "Go away, no body likes you!!!" (Its a joke between the two of us) The other day I was waiting or someone to come over, I was looking out the front window will my sweet little guy said "Sorry mommy, no one loves you" I turned around and he had the biggest smile on his face, then he fell on the floor laughing.

Last week he kept talking about curious george, we havent seen the movie so I thought he had just heard it fron the commercials. So he is in the bathroom going potty and I hear him saying "curious goerge...." I go in there and ask him who he is talking to, he say "My penis, his name is curious george"

[Krystalyn]

my son's latest saying is funny.

He says this like a scolding adult.

"Don't YOU DARE!!! Don't you dare mommy!!!"
usually it's in the context of when we tease each other

[lizdehart]

DH's new phrase is "Listen to me" before every sentence!!!!! I wonder where she got it! :rolleyes:

[jesslag]

So yesterday I had to pee super bad and chesco was in the bathroom so I said hey hurry up I have to pee. And he said to me Mom, you need some patience, patience is when you have to wait for things like when you are at a resturaunt, or Giant Eagle or for your turn when you are playing baseball. No one likes it when you cry about not getting your turn so have some patience, thank you. I almost died laughing. I guess he does listen to the things that come out of my mouth occasionally.

[Krystalyn]

so sometimes my son finds my markers. You can see where this is going right?

So apparently he's not watching cartoons. and he draws a line with dots all over himself. Needless to say I'm not happy.

He takes a bath. Well this is one of my permanent markers, you know the ones you buy to send a big packages somewhere. Tomorrow he's off to daddy's.

So he's in the tub and I thought I would try some liquid hand soap. I start forming a lather at his arms. I decided to give him a look over to see what the I'm up against. I am following the lines with my eyes that leads to his penis. Yes, he drew a line and dots on his penis.

I know I shouldn't laugh, but I did. And I said, "you know your daddy is going to be upset." I just walked out of the room. Situation - hopeless. :worry: :laugh:

[lizdehart]

DD was having breakfast and I was wiping off the island/bar around her, apparently frantically as she told me "Slow down mom" Not even 3 yet...

[Maddgiggler]

I started Nutrisystem on March 1st. My husband has been very supportive and my son is picking up on that. We were in Meijer last night and passing through the bakery section. Nick is behind me and says (in his typical way too loud voice) "Don't be tempted Mom...DON'T BE TEMPTED!!!" with full fledge drama. I would have crawled under a display but I was too busy laughing. I wasn't even looking at anything either! I can imagine what he would have said if I had actually stopped walking!

[mongoose]

We went to the farmer's market today...

There was a guy selling swords and that type of stuff.

Alex says LOUDLY, "THAT'S A NICE AX!"

You know what it sounded like :laugh:

[mrsmariahc]

My 2 1/2 year old was sitting in his recliner the other night. My husband walked over to him and asked him if he was ready to brush his teeth and go to bed. My little one puts his hands over his eyes, waits a couple of seconds and then says "are you gone yet?" :laugh:

[goodfairy7]

Riley and I were looking at pictures last night and came across one of me at aboutn 8 1/2 months pregnant, he looked at me and said "What the heck did you eat?!"

[msbabedoll]

Um Vala are you speaking in code?? Could you fill in the blanks for me I have placenta brain going on lol :laugh:

Here is one that made me cry the other day. My mom was visiting on Tuesday and we were eating lunch. My son said Gram why didn't your mom come to my birthday party? (this was weird cause it was my grams b day on tuesday but she passed away 5 yrs ago) So my mom said she is dead and we can't see her anymore ( we explained death to him but I don't think he really gets it) anyhow he said well maybe i can talk to her again and tell her to come next year. She came for Christmas remember she had on that purple dress with the pretty flowers. I told her I liked it and she said it was her favorite. So, my mom started to freak out cause my gram was totally buried in her favorite purple flowered dress ( I didn't know this cause it was a closed casket and my mom never said anything) anyhow it freaked us out for a while. And what I think is totally weird is that I got pregnant with Chesco one week after my gram passed away.


Your story just gave me goosebumps!!! I have listened closely to try and catch if Paxton talks about his daddy any. He was only 19 months old when he was killed. So far he just talks about him being in Heaven and wanting to go see him.

The other night we were in Chili's eatting and this is the first time I have seen Paxton get a crush on someone, but the girl who waited on us must of been in her early 20's, she was cute and Paxton was just all kind of staring at her. Then when she left he told me he was going to marry her! LOL

[dwazdip]

My 2 1/2 year old was sitting in his recliner the other night. My husband walked over to him and asked him if he was ready to brush his teeth and go to bed. My little one puts his hands over his eyes, waits a couple of seconds and then says "are you gone yet?" :laugh:
This totally cracked me up!!!



When my daughter was 2, we were at the grocery store. I was trying to explain to her why I say "Excuse me" when I need to cut in front of someone (to get an item off the shelf.) I told her that saying the phrase is part of being polite. She mulled this over for a while, then a few aisles down she turns to a woman with a cart full of food near us and says, "EXCUSE ME lady. Can I have some of your chips?" The woman and I had a nice long laugh, though my face was bright red.

[joolzie]

Ok, so yesterday the kiddle wanted me to put on a particular DVD for her, so I was up doing that, and she comes over to me with a dry erase page and asks me to clean it for her.

I say, "Can't you see I'm already doing something? How many things do you want me to do at once?"

She looks at me and says very seriously, "Two."

Duh, mom!

[jesslag]

My son just asked me for a piece of candy and I told him after lunch he could have one. He got mad and said FINE if you won't give me any candy then I will eat this banana and you can't stop me!! He totally cracks me up. :laugh:

[Ron C]

I was just talking to my wife on the phone and she breaks out laughing. I asked her whats so funny and she says your son just came walking through the kitchen with a stick from a corndog sideways in his mouth and said he's a hammerhead shark.

[viperlily]

Tonight we were out to dinner with my mother, and I was telling her that Chris (my hunny) and I had tickets to a lacrosse game in the Twin cities for next weekend. My mom then says "I wonder why Lacrosse isn't that popular here", and my 8 year old said, "They must not believe in Jesus" :laugh: He totally thought she said "The cross" hahaha.. I love kids!

[lizdehart]

We all have probably seen the Disney's 50th Anniversary commercials. Every time one comes on DD say "We're going there, I wanna go there" The reply is "We have money for food and clothes but Disney land is alot of money and we don't have money right now for Disneyland" Well foot in the mouth as she found a jar of pennies "I found alot of money and now we can go to Disneyland." I need to win a Disney sweep!!

[texaslady22]

We all have probably seen the Disney's 50th Anniversary commercials. Every time one comes on DD say "We're going there, I wanna go there" The reply is "We have money for food and clothes but Disney land is alot of money and we don't have money right now for Disneyland" Well foot in the mouth as she found a jar of pennies "I found alot of money and now we can go to Disneyland." I need to win a Disney sweep!!

I hope you do!!

[brigidvw]

I had to post this...

We were at the mall with DD (4 yo) and the Easter Bunny was just sitting there, no lines or anything so I say "why don't you go and say hello to the EB?" She runs over jumps on his lap and says.... "I know what I want for Christmas!!" I was like...OMG! The EB just nodded and gave her some candy...lol.

[Mare]

Jesse just said, "Dad? Can you still control your body parts if they fall off?" :laugh:

Mare "OMG...my ice tea came out my nose." Rivera :cool3:

[mommamia]

Jesse just said, "Dad? Can you still control your body parts if they fall off?" :laugh:

Mare "OMG...my ice tea came out my nose." Rivera :cool3:

:laugh:

[mommamia]

My son calls McDonald's breakfast sandwiches 'crabby patties' (from Sponge Bob). He really thinks that is their name.

My father had a tough morning trying to figure out what he wanted yesterday when he kept saying 'crabby patty grandpa! please!'

[sparkleygem]

My 3 year old daughter came into the kitchen this morning with 2 spatulas and said "here mom, here's your cookalators" :laugh: :laugh:

[cakegirl79]

It's that wonderful time of month and mommy is extra crabby so when my son was praying for his breakfast the other day he said "Thank you for breakfast, help us have a good day and help mom not to be mad. Amen." It wasn't funny to me then but it is now!!

Then yesterday I had said something then he asked me about it and of course I had forgotten so I said "I don't remember, I lost it." to which he replied "So you lost your mind." He'll never know how true that statement was!

[lizdehart]

"There's a pirate in my playroom" ....HUH????

[ouroboro]

My 5 year old son is in a speech class to help him improve his speech. There were working on the sound "er" and how to identify it if its spelled differently--like "ur". One picture had a boy who hurt his knee and the therapist was trying to get him to say "hurt". She said: "this boy fell down and his knee is...." My son fills in the blank quite proudly with "bleeding!!" We all got a good laugh over that! :gvibes:

[lizdehart]

I was taking a bath this morning and for some reason even bath cause let down of my milk, DD comes in and states matter of factly "you have a chest water fountain".. well I guess so! (I discourage her from saying boobies and now she calls them chest) :laugh:

[Tasha668]

:laugh: :laugh: When my son was about 3 (now 8) he had a pair of child's sunglasses. One day he looked at the glasses, then he looked at me and said "Mommy do sunglasses grow?" I was stumped, so I say "No honey only living things grow and sunglasses are not living things.) He looked confused and then said "So what am I going to wear when my head gets HUGE like yours!" I almost fell over laughing! :laugh:

[ups91]

Sunday we celebrated my youngest nephew's 2nd birthday. My SIL was holding her brother's baby while her SIL, my sister, brother and I were standing in the kitchen. My nephew promptly tells SIL, "Mommy put the baby down now!" Jealously reared it's ugly head. He is going to have a little brother in August.i told my brother his fun has just started!

[nikkee]

last night we were eating pizza for dinner and our 2 1/2 year old licks her hands and smooths them down her hair, looks at daddy and asks "see pretty hair daddy?" with this cute little shy look, he agrees "very pretty Kayla". She askes me and I reply with "well honey we don't spit in our hair", she points her finger at me and yells "no mommy!" so, she asks us again and this time I just agree saying "yes, very pretty Kayla" She replies with turning her head in a modesty type way and says "yes"(like"yes, I know") agreeing with us, it was just so cute, I couldn't stop laughing. :laugh:

[nikkee]

I was taking a bath this morning and for some reason even bath cause let down of my milk, DD comes in and states matter of factly "you have a chest water fountain".. well I guess so! (I discourage her from saying boobies and now she calls them chest) :laugh:

memories.... :laugh:

[brigidvw]

last night we were eating pizza for dinner and our 2 1/2 year old licks her hands and smooths them down her hair, looks at daddy and asks "see pretty hair daddy?" with this cute little shy look, he agrees "very pretty Kayla". She askes me and I reply with "well honey we don't spit in our hair", she points her finger at me and yells "no mommy!" so, she asks us again and this time I just agree saying "yes, very pretty Kayla" She replies with turning her head in a modesty type way and says "yes"(like"yes, I know") agreeing with us, it was just so cute, I couldn't stop laughing. :laugh:


A true diva in the making!!! :laugh:

[mrsmariahc]

My youngest son, who will be 3 in July has really started being independent. Whenever he demands doing something all by himself....he says "I going to do it all my byself!" It is hilarious. It's all most like a tongue twister when you try to say it like he does. :laugh:

[lizdehart]

Sometimes they just say the cutest things. You know the teapot song. DD adds to the end ...."Tip me over and pour me out, into a cup, so I can drink it!" :laugh:

[melisangelo]

I have a couple:

When DD was about 9 yrs, we went to a friend's house for dinner. Our friend asked DH if he wanted a beer and then proceeded to ask me the same. Before I could answer, DD looked straight at him and said, "My Mom is NOT an Alcoholic!" :shocked2: Should have seen the look on our friend's face! :laugh:

Another time I took DD to the Doctor and she said something along the line of "Is there something wrong with me, because my mom doesn't want to pay $100 to find out there is nothing wrong." :shocked4: She saw the look on my face and added, "But she was talking about the other doctor." :laugh:

[lizdehart]

Conversation between me and DD today:

DD- my teddy has a carseat, a brown one
me- You have to ask your brother if your teddy can use the carseat
DD- I can't ask him he doesn't have teeth (pause) he can't talk
me- Grandma can talk and she doesn't have teeth (dentures)
DDS (puzzled look) well they're shiny (I'm guessing grandma's teeth are shiny?)

[Txsweeper]

Conversation between me and DH today:

DH- my teddy has a carseat, a brown one
me- You have to ask your brother if your teddy can use the carseat
DH- I can't ask him he doesn't have teeth (pause) he can't talk
me- Grandma can talk and she doesn't have teeth (dentures)
DH- (puzzled look) well they're shiny.
Your Dear Husband? :laugh: :laugh:

[lizdehart]

<---running to edit!

Your Dear Husband? :laugh: :laugh:

LOL DD!!!

[Txsweeper]

<---running to edit!



LOL DD!!!
:laugh: I loved the story, by the way!!

[Mare]

Jesse to me last night while we're lying in my bed watching TV...

"You know what they say, Mom. Big things come in small packages."

Mare "I hope my kid's a prophet" Rivera :cool3:

[jesslag]

Lol Mare you reminded me of something Francesco said lately. He had just woken up and it was the middle of the night and I asked him if he had to go to the potty. He started jibber jabbering and I said What?? and he said I can't understand what my mouth is saying to you. Dh and I cracked up!

[Mare]

Lol Mare you reminded me of something Francesco said lately. He had just woken up and it was the middle of the night and I asked him if he had to go to the potty. He started jibber jabbering and I said What?? and he said I can't understand what my mouth is saying to you. Dh and I cracked up!

:rofl3:

I REALLY like that one!

[JesterPester]

Yesterday my parents came to visit us for a week. I cleaned the guest bathroom and asked my 6 year old son not to use it because I wanted it to stay clean. Well, after my parents got here, my mother went into the bathroom. My son ran after her saying "Grandma, I don't think Mom wants you to use that bathroom, she's trying to keep it clean!"

[Starket]

My 2 year old son mumbled something after he had passed gas. When I asked him what he said he told me that he had done a butt song. :laugh: Of course, I busted out laughing. Where did he come up with this? He also calls a kleenex a boogeynex. My husband and I can't stop laughing at the words he comes up with.

[gower525]

My four year old was telling me about his first roller coaster ride. He said it made my wee wee feel all funny!

[brigidvw]

My niece was visiting me the other day and I noticed the top of her undie peeking out . So, me, being the nice aunt that I am proceed with the..."I see London, I see France.." before I could finish she turns around and proclaims "you see far!" :laugh:

[bdsweetie]

This happened just a few days ago....

We were out eating when my 3 yr old DD has to use the bathroom. We were in a small diner where there is only 1 toilet per bathroom...men and womens. We stand waiting as a man comes to stand on his side to use to the bathroom. Since my DD is at butt level with adults she hears "noises" that we don't. In her usual loud voice she informs me "Momma...that man has poopy issues! Does he have to go poopy too?" The guy quickly left and went back to his table. After my DD used the bathroom we went back to our table after passing this poor guys table. As we walked by she loudly says again "Momma...that man has butt smell"


I'm sure I'll be posting alot since i have a toddler that is obsessed with butt,poop,farts and everything else disgusting..... proudly taught by my older DD's :worry:

OMG!!! That is so funny!! I would have died.

[Mrsloon]

My seven year old keeps saying "I just don't know where the first people came from?" to her big sister. Her sister told her to read the Children's Bible. The little one replied "I have a dictionary in school and now I have to read the Holy Childrens Bible?" I overheard all of this and just cracked up.

[Nikol]

My 5 year old's first fish died today. I gently broke the news to him and told him how sorry I was. I was watching him, expecting tears perhaps, and listed several things we could do to bury him. He thought for a moment and then suggested, rather hopefully, "We could feed him to the cat!" :laugh:
BOYS!

[sunstreeks]

my daughters only 1 1/2 and not talking much yet except a few words but I have a few..

when i was a live-in nanny in penn. for 6 kids there was a few that caught me off gaurd..

The kids were used to having au-pairs from other countries that didn't speak english as their first laungage., I'm from seattle, wa area.. The 8 year old boy ask me one time.. "say something in your laungage"


The same boy asked me once in a very catious, shy voice.. " ummm. do you think maybe , since your not at home and your here, that you could root for the eagles?"

The most noticible difference from me being from the west coast and them being from the east was that I always called it pop they always called it soda. The older kids ages 8, 10, 11 asked if they could have some soda. I told them no. So then one of them asked. "well can we have some pop."

--

when my best frineds cousin was 4 she wasn't behaving. He mom said "if you don't quit your gonna get a spanking." , she kept doing it. her grandmother said. "now ----(her name) you better stop or your going to get a spanking".. she didn't stop. my best frined looked at her and said.. "thats enough knock it off or your getting a spanking." The little girl looked at them and said "are you going to take turns?"


stephanie

[susieand]

My fam and I were just talking about funny things we said as kids.

When my sis was little and was in the car driving by the graveyard she got all excited and said "Daddy! I know what that is!" He said, "What is it?" and she replied, "That's where the dead people live!"

When I was little and I wanted someone to hold on, I would say "Wait a couple of whiles." I also used to always say "I'll be back in a gypsy" instead of jiffy. And I NEVER understood why people laughed so hard at this!

[jesslag]

My son is a compulsive teeth brusher. Tonight aftere he was getting ready for bed he said look how sparkly my teeth are.. I said wow they look great. He said they are extra shiny tonight cause I used your toothbrush!!!

[duknuk]

My son is a compulsive teeth brusher. Tonight aftere he was getting ready for bed he said look how sparkly my teeth are.. I said wow they look great. He said they are extra shiny tonight cause I used your toothbrush!!!


:laugh: I'm rolling.

Children are great.

[mommamia]

My son is a compulsive teeth brusher. Tonight aftere he was getting ready for bed he said look how sparkly my teeth are.. I said wow they look great. He said they are extra shiny tonight cause I used your toothbrush!!!

that IS funny.

not sure if others find this as funny as I did.....but.....

My 5 year old played her guitar in her first 'concert' Saturday. She decided to wear a cowboy hat, a sun-dress and put cat-whiskers on her face. It was a casual outdoor thing and I realize that musicians have their quirks....anyway, after she plays "boil the cabbage" in front of about 40-50 people, she says:

"Next time I perform in front of thousands I want to be wearing a better hat !" and then she does a little bow.


:laugh: DIVA ALERT !

[zelda]

My children didn't say this, but I was at the Dr,'s office with my 13 year old, and there was a little girl sitting with her mom, who couldn't have been more than 5 or 6, who grabbed her mom hand and said .."Mommy, mommy! Look at that women over there she has "very close veins" on her legs"

[TWOPYRZ]

Yesterday, I was changing my baby's diaper. My toddler was standing there too. We had the window open and it started to rain. I said to my toddler that I love the smell of rain and asked her if she could smell it. She told me she smelled poopie. :laugh: :laugh:

[lizdehart]

My son is a compulsive teeth brusher. Tonight aftere he was getting ready for bed he said look how sparkly my teeth are.. I said wow they look great. He said they are extra shiny tonight cause I used your toothbrush!!!
LOL!!!! :laugh: What a cutie.... He's like my DD. She's tried to use mine a few times!

[FLYPELICANFLY]

Today after we got done shopping, I stopped at Burger King with my two kids. We ordered 3 chocolate Milkshakes and kept on driving. Since it was hot I told my 7 year old daughter to put the straws in and give one to her brother and start drinking hers too.
Then i told her to pass me mine, so i could put it in the cup-holder. She didnt respond, so I repeated myself and she suddenly says----------mom, don't you watch TV---you are not allowed to DRINK and DRIVE! I laughed so hard that tears where rolling down my cheeks.
She was'nt to happy about my laughing and just started shaking her head and mumbling : what's so funny? :laugh:

[mommamia]

My husband thought it a good idea to shave his head bald today.


He has never done this. It looked ......different.

My 5 year old dd looked at him astonished and said :

"Oh Dear Daddy! Don't you worry! it will grow back real soon!"

:laugh:

[jesslag]

LMAO to both of those.

I was thinking today about my brother and I when we were kids and I remember the time my dad cut down one of the trees in our yard. Well my brother saw the sawdust on the ground and said "Tree crumbs!!" We were cracking up at that one!!

[DE-termined]

I have just finished a two-day drive from Il to Va with my three kids. We are visiting my mom and step-dad. Anyway the oldest boy has a bad habit of annoying his two-yr old sister in the car. She always starts screaming and I can't STAND that when I'm trying to drive! So after the umpteenth time I say to DS "Stop pissing your sister off!!!!" A little while later he starts again, but before I can say anything, my baby says "Stop! Don't piss me off, JC!" in her cutest little girl voice! I was laughing so hard I nearly peed my pants! they are such little parrots!!!

[BlueIrishEyes]

My three year old grandchild is a master at making us laugh. NJ has a large deer population and she calls them Christmas Cows. Eggnog is Christmas milk. Do you think she likes Christmas??? :)

[brigidvw]

I have just finished a two-day drive from Il to Va with my three kids. We are visiting my mom and step-dad. Anyway the oldest boy has a bad habit of annoying his two-yr old sister in the car. She always starts screaming and I can't STAND that when I'm trying to drive! So after the umpteenth time I say to DS "Stop pissing your sister off!!!!" A little while later he starts again, but before I can say anything, my baby says "Stop! Don't piss me off, JC!" in her cutest little girl voice! I was laughing so hard I nearly peed my pants! they are such little parrots!!!

LOL...that is sooo funny! I am getting ready for a road trip myself, and I think I will be going through the same thing (DS 11 and DD 4), but mine are the other way around. DD torments the CRAP out of her big brother. I am sure I will have something to post when I get back.

[Mare]

Yesterday, Jesse came up to me while I was trying to get some work finished at home and said, "Guess what mom!"

I mumbled through my overworked haze, "What?"

He says, "I've got a new aptitude!" :laugh:

Mare "needs a new aptitude, also" Rivera :cool3:

[brigidvw]

Recently my family traveled to my nieces wedding. Now she lives in a VERY rural area. In fact her new husbands family owns a farm!

So here we are driving to the church, passing fields upon fields of cows and horses. Both the children checking them all out. My DS says "I wonder if it would be fun to ride a horse?" DD replies "yes!" He then ask "how would you know, you've never ridden a horse" and her reply..."I dreamed it and it was fun"! Oh, to have such lovely dreams!

[FiestyRedhead]

I got home from work and peeked in my 3 year olds room, which was A MESS, toys everywhere, and I said, honey what happened in here, and he told me "looks like a VOLCANO here" lol....who in the world knew a 3 year old would know about volcanos :laugh:

[FLYPELICANFLY]

I made some popcorn for my 7year old daughter and my 2.5year old son. My daughter walks up ,to ask me about a movie she wants to watch and I start snacking from her bowl-she does'nt mind but I start realizing that I need to stop before I eat it all. I hear my son in the bathroom and then he walks up to me too ,with his bowl of popcorn--I say : will you share some with mommy? He says: yes you share-so I grab a handfull of popcorn and stuff it in my mouth. Suddenly he says" I drop popcorn-I say: well go pick it up. He says: I did -I pick up popcorn and he points inside the bowl he is holding. Thats when I realized that I just stuffed popcorn in my mouth that he had just picked up from all over the bathroom floor. Well lets hope it was only :shocked3: the floor.

[deelytful1]

My dad LOVES to annoy my 7 year old...but Sean got him back
He walked up to my Dad and said "You got thrown out of the ugly contest because the judges said "no professionals allowed" then walked casually away. Never saw my Dad laugh so hard...hehehehe

[suziebee20]

Wasn't my kid, but at Sea World yesterday during the dolphin show, they chose a little girl in the audiance to come up and pet the dolphin. When they asked her what it felt like she said a hot dog. :laugh:

[sparkleygem]

Wasn't my kid, but at Sea World yesterday during the dolphin show, they chose a little girl in the audiance to come up and pet the dolphin. When they asked her what it felt like she said a hot dog. :laugh:
HA HA HAA!!! That is so cute!! It's funny though, because I couldnever come close to describing what they feel like (even though I've pet them, I just can't find the words) but a hot dog is pretty close. :laugh: Closer than I ever came to describing it, anyways.

[sparkleygem]

Hubby and I went horseback riding on the beach, all the people that worked there were kinda dressed like cowboys, with the boots and all. There was this little boy there with his mom & dad, waiting to ride. He was sitting there playing with the pebbles, and his mom told him to put them down so he didn't get dirty. And he says "are those cowboy rocks mom?" Aww it was sooo cute and so funny. I guess you had to be there. but it was so funny and adorable. Cowboy rocks :rofl3:

[Ron C]

I made some popcorn for my 7year old daughter and my 2.5year old son. My daughter walks up ,to ask me about a movie she wants to watch and I start snacking from her bowl-she does'nt mind but I start realizing that I need to stop before I eat it all. I hear my son in the bathroom and then he walks up to me too ,with his bowl of popcorn--I say : will you share some with mommy? He says: yes you share-so I grab a handfull of popcorn and stuff it in my mouth. Suddenly he says" I drop popcorn-I say: well go pick it up. He says: I did -I pick up popcorn and he points inside the bowl he is holding. Thats when I realized that I just stuffed popcorn in my mouth that he had just picked up from all over the bathroom floor. Well lets hope it was only :shocked3: the floor.

And you thought all that yellow was extra butter huh :laugh:

[Ron C]

I came home from work the other day and was asking my son (6) what he had been up to today. He said that he moved a ant hill today. I said why did you do that and he said “ the sun was shinning on it and I was worried that it might hurt their eye’s so I moved them”. I went out and look and yup he sure had moved a lot of the ant hill into the shade.

[sparkleygem]

Yesterday my almost 4 year old daughter brought our kitten to me, butt facing me, and saud "mommy, this one is a girl, right?" I said "yes, honey, that one's a girl." She then says "cuz it doesn't have a weiner?" She's so smart. :laugh:

[Fidget]

I needed to cut a necklace string to get the beads off for restringing and Tessa patted my shoulder and said "mama you need to get the wizzors to cut it" so darn cute i almost died :laugh:

[Trix]

"Do you need to use soap if you wash your hands in holy water?"
- My 7 year old

[sparkleygem]

My 4 Y.O. daughter has been cracking me up lately.

So, she always asks about the meat that we eat, and if people had to kill that particular animal. We were eating beef jerky in the car the other day, and she asked me if people had to kill the jerkies. :rofl3:

Later the same day, we were driving home, and our 7 year old son said "dad, Mariah just wiped a boooger on me". Then Mariah (our 4 Y.O) says "that's because he's always bad in school." So then I say "you don't do that Mariah, that's not nice. Do you want a spanking?" Then all we hear is a soft "sowwy" come from the back of the car, which basically made us snicker all the way home.

Then just a little bit ago, she comes out of our bedroom, where we have a large canopy bed with iron rods above the bed, telling me loudly "daddy's a meanie jerk! He turned off Disney in his room! Because we (her and our 7 year old) were swinging from the bars on the bed. And I dropped on him while he was sleeping." :rofl3: OMG I can't stop laughing about that. :rofl3:

[FLYPELICANFLY]

And you thought all that yellow was extra butter huh :laugh:
lol- ( sorry just saw that) :laugh:

[tiny]

:rofl3: I love this. I think I might start calling it Penny Saliva, too! :laugh:

This is a great thread, you guys. Keep 'em coming. :gvibes:

In my house, we say "Pennislavia," just for kicks. :laugh:

[tiny]

My neice has always loved to sing - pop rock, country...you name it.
When she was little, she was quite good at getting the tune right, but the lyrics
were another matter!

One night at a restaurant she started singing "Wichita Lineman."
But Instead of "I am a lineman for the county"
she belted out "I am the lining in your panties."


I don't think I need to explain how loud and long we laughed!


Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh my gawwwwd, this whole thread is hilarious but I have tears streaming down my cheeks after that... I can't stop laughing...
Oh, thank you for that, I really needed the laugh!
:rofl3:

[daskds]

My son and daughter were going outside a few minutes ago and he opened the door, slightly bowed and said 'Ladies first'. I told him that was sweet and he said, nope, it was Gallant! :smile9:

From the mouth of a 4 yr old! :laugh:

[Fidget]

my almost 3 yr old told me the other day

"You are ruining my life, mother!"

of course since she's so young it sounded like

you are ruwinning my wife mudder!

[Tarah716]

I had to jump in - I don't have kids yet but a couple friend of ours does and she cracked us up the other day. She's 15 months old...

We were on the boat a few weekends ago and docked after we were done. Her dad got out and went to the side of the yard to "relieve" himself. Well his DD wanders over and peers around, she got a good glimpse of his package and burst into tears.

:rofl3: She's terrified of the male part - cries everytime she sees one. Her dad has told us that she's wandered into the bathroom after he gets out of the shower and starts crying and pointing. Too funny

[TrueBrunette]

When my son was in 1st grade he was talking to his class & he announced to everyone he has a white grandma & also has a brown grandma.....when I started looking at the various faces being made it dawned on me what they were thinking! But he was innocently referring to their hair color!! :laugh: :laugh: I just sat there & smiled!! :)

[sparkleygem]

When my son was in 1st grade he was talking to his class & he announced to everyone he has a white grandma & also has a brown grandma.....when I started looking at the various faces being made it dawned on me what they were thinking! But he was innocently referring to their hair color!! :laugh: :laugh: I just sat there & smiled!! :)
LOL. My DD does that. She's 4. Anyways, she has a grandma with black hair, and one with blonde hair. So, she used to say black grandma and yellow grandma. :laugh:

[mommamia]

Today I hugged my little 3 year old son and said

"I am soooo lucky to have you!"

he said:

"mommy you are not ucky. You are good"


:love:

[FLYPELICANFLY]

Yesterday me ,Dh and the kids where getting ready to go out for some shopping. As I was looking in the mirror I noticed a huge pimple on my chin, that nobody had mentioned yet.
I'm talking science fiction style huge. :frown3:
I tried covering it with makeup and then walked up to Dh , to ask him how bad it looked...
...when I hear my 7year old daughter scream: OMG MOM-what is that? It looks like a Volcano. Dh tried to tell her to be quiet about it but my daughter just went on and on.
So I decided to go back in to the bathroom and save what I can when I hear more whispering......
Dh: stop it-don't worry about it
Dd: she needs help daddy-I wanna help--she can't go to the store
Dh: no don't go in there
movement
there she comes in with a collection of polkadot and orange scarves for my chin :smile9:

I told her , that she just has to deal with me walking next to her in the store.
Unbelievable!

[jofo3511]

One day when I lost it and flipped out (over something stupid) my then 12 year old son says to me:

" Well, that was real mature" :rolleyes:

[FLYPELICANFLY]

:laugh: One day when I lost it and flipped out (over something stupid) my then 12 year old son says to me:

" Well, that was real mature" :rolleyes:
:laugh: Well he told you-really mom-how could you?

[luvey]

We were driving in the car one day and we came up to a stop sign that had those slow down strips in the road before the stop sign...the kind that make a rumbling noise when you drive over them. My son who was 4 at the time said "Mommy, the car farted!"

Another time when he was around the same age, he walked into the bedroom when I was changing clothes. I had my bra on and he said "Mommy why are you wearing booby patches?" He thought the bra looked like eye patches for my boobs.

[Silver Spring]

When #1 was about 18 months old and I was pregoo w/#2, I was baking and accidentally dumped a cup of chocolate chips on the floor. I started pushing them into a pile with my foot to make it easier for my fat self to pick them up. The kidlet watched me for a second and then decided to help me - so he started "pushing" them with his foot too, except he was flinging them all over the kitchen. He was proud and thought he was doing me a real big favor.

More recently, I told him he was a cutey patoot and he got all exasperated and said, "I am not a patoot, I'm a Bensamun" (His Benjamin is still a bit clumsy)


Both boys like to harass and yell at the cats (not physically, just verbally obnoxious). One day Ben approached the older cat and before he got a chance to start squeeling at her, she got up and swatted at him (she's declawed) and ran away. He started BAWLING like he'd been beaten half to death, crying "Punky spanked me!!"

[BlueIrishEyes]

Phoenix was playing today and farted. She looked up and said, "Ahgi, my poop is talking to me". I lost it and had to go to the other room and smother my laughs.


I am her grandmother and her name for me is Ahgi.

[sparkleygem]

Phoenix was playing today and farted. She looked up and said, "Ahgi, my poop is talking to me". I lost it and had to go to the other room and smother my laughs.


I am her grandmother and her name for me is Ahgi.
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

[jesslag]

Phoenix was playing today and farted. She looked up and said, "Ahgi, my poop is talking to me". I lost it and had to go to the other room and smother my laughs.


I am her grandmother and her name for me is Ahgi.

OMG that is too funny. When we were potty training my oldest son he was trying to poop once and said "the poop is sleeping" then he yelled into the toilet "WAKE UP POOP!!"

Today his dad was outside working on the house and he pretend builds stuff at the same time. Well it was pretty cold here today and he didn't want to wear his winter coat so I made him wear a long underwear shirt (blue and white stripes) with a red striped t shirt over it. While he was putting it on he said "Gee I hope nobody sees me, I sure don't match"

[goodfairy7]

A few days ago, my dad was visiting and Riley was being 3 and a little on the crazy side and did something to make Grandpa mad.
My dad told him he was going to swat his butt and riley said
"You and what army" :laugh:

When he was a little guy, my dad was trying to lecture him on something and Riley promptly stuck a cookie in Grandpas mouth. :laugh:

[Ryalsmom]

This is my first post and my daughter who is three has said many funny things but I thought this was all to cute! About a week ago my best friends dad past away and he was like a Grandpa to her so she called him Poppie. Well she was talking with my friend and said I am a super hero and so are you ( her super hero name is super king kong) she said I am going to tell my dad, are you going to tell your dad? she asked and my friend said I cant and he said why and my friend said he is in heaven she said call him my friend said i cant she said why heaven doesnt have a phone number? :halo: It was so cute it almost made me cry! So she picks up her play phone and pretends to talk to Poppie and said Poppie is God there! It was so cute she really doesnt understand it all yet but I thought this was really cute and wanted to share it with some one and I read all these funny things and I just wanted to share!

[brigidvw]

My DD is suffering from a mild cold. Last night she says "Mom, when I cough my throat gets cloudy..." I replied "If it starts raining in there....you let m know"....hmmmm...doesn't seem as funny when I type it out, but last night it was hysterical....oh welll.... :laugh:

[FLYPELICANFLY]

We pulled up at the gas-station. As I was getting out of the car , to pump the gas, I see my 3 year old DS turn to his big sister and he says in an annoyed voice ( shaking his head):
The car is thirsty again! :)

[jesslag]

This is my first post and my daughter who is three has said many funny things but I thought this was all to cute! About a week ago my best friends dad past away and he was like a Grandpa to her so she called him Poppie. Well she was talking with my friend and said I am a super hero and so are you ( her super hero name is super king kong) she said I am going to tell my dad, are you going to tell your dad? she asked and my friend said I cant and he said why and my friend said he is in heaven she said call him my friend said i cant she said why heaven doesnt have a phone number? :halo: It was so cute it almost made me cry! So she picks up her play phone and pretends to talk to Poppie and said Poppie is God there! It was so cute she really doesnt understand it all yet but I thought this was really cute and wanted to share it with some one and I read all these funny things and I just wanted to share!
Cute, made me want to cry too!!! Welcome to OLS and hope to see more posts from you! :gvibes: :gvibes: :gvibes:

[Ryalsmom]

Cute, made me want to cry too!!! Welcome to OLS and hope to see more posts from you! :gvibes: :gvibes: :gvibes:
Thank you!

[tiny]

This is my first post and my daughter who is three has said many funny things but I thought this was all to cute! About a week ago my best friends dad past away and he was like a Grandpa to her so she called him Poppie. Well she was talking with my friend and said I am a super hero and so are you ( her super hero name is super king kong) she said I am going to tell my dad, are you going to tell your dad? she asked and my friend said I cant and he said why and my friend said he is in heaven she said call him my friend said i cant she said why heaven doesnt have a phone number? :halo: It was so cute it almost made me cry! So she picks up her play phone and pretends to talk to Poppie and said Poppie is God there! It was so cute she really doesnt understand it all yet but I thought this was really cute and wanted to share it with some one and I read all these funny things and I just wanted to share!

Very sweet! :gvibes: :gvibes:

[Ryalsmom]

Yesterday I was cleaning my Daughters room and she asked me if she could help well I told her "No",and she says" please I will just sit right here and just watch." I still tell her "No, and to go sit down and watch tv" ( She doesnt really help she sits there and ask why am I throwing that away or takes her toys back out after I put them away) Well she is very dramatic about everything she walks aways and says " But mom, you always tell me to be true to myself" It was so funny I had to laugh! :) :) And by the way does anyone have any ideas on a way to get her to keep her room clean?

[jesslag]

Yesterday I was cleaning my Daughters room and she asked me if she could help well I told her "No",and she says" please I will just sit right here and just watch." I still tell her "No, and to go sit down and watch tv" ( She doesnt really help she sits there and ask why am I throwing that away or takes her toys back out after I put them away) Well she is very dramatic about everything she walks aways and says " But mom, you always tell me to be true to myself" It was so funny I had to laugh! :) :) And by the way does anyone have any ideas on a way to get her to keep her room clean?
I have no ideas about how you can get her to keep her room clean,I was thinking girls just automatically had clean rooms, or at least I was hoping lol.

My 4 year old hit me with this little gem today.

Chesco-boy mom I just ate the best booger
Me- ewwww that's gross please don't do that'
Chesco- do you want one?
Me- ummm no thank you
Chesco- great more for me then.
Chesco- does Santa leave boogers as a special treat for good boys every morning?
Me- no boogers are gross and Santa doesn't like it when little boys eat boogers.

about an hour later he came to the kitchen while I was making dinner and told me that he just ate his last booger and wouldn't do it anymore cause he really wants Santa to bring him a new video game for Christmas.

[Fidget]

Chesco-boy mom I just ate the best booger
Me- ewwww that's gross please don't do that'
Chesco- do you want one?
Me- ummm no thank you
Chesco- great more for me then.
Chesco- does Santa leave boogers as a special treat for good boys every morning?
Me- no boogers are gross and Santa doesn't like it when little boys eat boogers.

about an hour later he came to the kitchen while I was making dinner and told me that he just ate his last booger and wouldn't do it anymore cause he really wants Santa to bring him a new video game for Christmas.


:rofl3: :rofl3:

[goodfairy7]

Yesterday I was cleaning my Daughters room and she asked me if she could help well I told her "No",and she says" please I will just sit right here and just watch." I still tell her "No, and to go sit down and watch tv" ( She doesnt really help she sits there and ask why am I throwing that away or takes her toys back out after I put them away) Well she is very dramatic about everything she walks aways and says " But mom, you always tell me to be true to myself" It was so funny I had to laugh! :) :) And by the way does anyone have any ideas on a way to get her to keep her room clean?
What ive found that works best for my little guy and the kids I work with, is having containers for their toys, so a box for cars, or barbies or whatever, then label the box with either a picture of whats inside or if they can read, a regular label.
This way, everything has a place, and they know what goes where.

I do it for my nieces clothes too, helps them to put thier clothes away it the right places.

[Ryalsmom]

She has containers and actually dumps them out! Once a week I go in there and clean it but I think she messes it up so she can sleep with me!?! So this time I told her that even if her room is a mess she has to sleep in there. I do not have the picture one the boxs but each one has a different item, but that is a great idea thank you! Jesslaq Little girls probablly do clean their room just not mine! Lol I have some almost new toys that I need to get rid of like baby stroller, playpen and stuff like that if any one has any ideas. I do not want to sell them, I would rather give them away.

[tiffanylane]

McKenzie informed me she is marrying two boys. I told her she would go to jail if she did that. She replied "But Mommy, I need one to watch the kids and one to cook and clean" I replied what are you going to be doing. She said with out missing a beat " Entering contest."

She is 6 and already starting.

[Ryalsmom]

McKenzie informed me she is marrying two boys. I told her she would go to jail if she did that. She replied "But Mommy, I need one to watch the kids and one to cook and clean" I replied what are you going to be doing. She said with out missing a beat " Entering contest."

She is 6 and already starting.
That is too cute!

[FLYPELICANFLY]

:highfive: :highfive: McKenzie informed me she is marrying two boys. I told her she would go to jail if she did that. She replied "But Mommy, I need one to watch the kids and one to cook and clean" I replied what are you going to be doing. She said with out missing a beat " Entering contest."

She is 6 and already starting.

You've raised her well. :laugh: :gvibes:

[FLYPELICANFLY]

Well my Two made me laugh again today. It's not so much what they said , but what they did.
When my Dh came home from picking up my daughter from school , I wanted to show him something. I didn't want the children to see what I was showing him and put the movie ANNIE on for them.
My oldest wanted some food , but I told her no, not today -we have dinner in the oven and it will be ready soon.
Me and Dh went to the back and suddenly the ANNIE movie gets real loud.
We sneak to the front and see my oldest(8) trying to jump up ,to grab a can of slim jims from the kitchen-cabinet and my youngest (3)standing guard at the door with a huge bag of french breads in one hand and one of them hanging out of his mouth.

We watched for a few seconds and it only got better. The little one wasn't a good guard, since he was to busy eating all of the bread, while my daughter was making plans to get a stepladder and stuff the slim jims inside the rolls , so they can't be seen.

As we showed ourselfs, my little darling just looked with big eyes and bread in the mouth, without saying a word, while my daughter was still talking about the plan she is forming before we notice the movie is way to loud.

I laughed so hard. Man do I love those two. I bet she won't use him again as her guard-dog. :laugh: :gvibes:

[brigidvw]

Well my Two made me laugh again today. It's not so much what they said , but what they did.
When my Dh came home from picking up my daughter from school , I wanted to show him something. I didn't want the children to see what I was showing him and put the movie ANNIE on for them.
My oldest wanted some food , but I told her no, not today -we have dinner in the oven and it will be ready soon.
Me and Dh went to the back and suddenly the ANNIE movie gets real loud.
We sneak to the front and see my oldest(8) trying to jump up ,to grab a can of slim jims from the kitchen-cabinet and my youngest (3)standing guard at the door with a huge bag of french breads in one hand and one of them hanging out of his mouth.

We watched for a few seconds and it only got better. The little one wasn't a good guard, since he was to busy eating all of the bread, while my daughter was making plans to get a stepladder and stuff the slim jims inside the rolls , so they can't be seen.

As we showed ourselfs, my little darling just looked with big eyes and bread in the mouth, without saying a word, while my daughter was still talking about the plan she is forming before we notice the movie is way to loud.

I laughed so hard. Man do I love those two. I bet she won't use him again as her guard-dog. :laugh: :gvibes:

OMG that is priceless...LOL! You should send that into Readers Digest!

[tiny]

McKenzie informed me she is marrying two boys. I told her she would go to jail if she did that. She replied "But Mommy, I need one to watch the kids and one to cook and clean" I replied what are you going to be doing. She said with out missing a beat " Entering contest."

She is 6 and already starting.

Awesome! :laugh: :gvibes:

[FLYPELICANFLY]

OMG that is priceless...LOL! You should send that into Readers Digest!

Thank you-lol. It was a very 'mini- mission impossible moment'. :) :gvibes:

[Ryalsmom]

My daughters new thing " My brain hurts" when she doesnt want to do something thats her new excuse! :smile3: :smile3:

[jesslag]

Today I decided to let Francesco eat his lunch in the living room. He was having a ham sandwich and some apple slices. Whne I handed it to him, he said "Are you crazy?? I'll get crumbs everywhere." I say that to him alllll the time when he begs me to eat in the living room lol.

[mommamia]

Today I decided to let Francesco eat his lunch in the living room. He was having a ham sandwich and some apple slices. Whne I handed it to him, he said "Are you crazy?? I'll get crumbs everywhere." I say that to him alllll the time when he begs me to eat in the living room lol.

You are SO lucky.
:)

[minera]

My 4 year old was in the mall with my husband and I today. We were walking in payless, when a eldery woman with a hunch back (not sure medical term for it) walked by. As loud as can be she yells out to the lady, excuse me ma'am, what is wrong with you? The elderly lady either didn't hear her or just kept walking. She stopped in the same area we were looking in, and my daughter repeated her question, very loud, but very politely. I asked her to be quiet, and she said to me "but mommy, what is wrong with her" I tried to explain that she had hurt her back or something to that effect. So my sweet little angel goes to the lady, excuse me ma'am "if your hurt, my mommy has a bandaid in her purse that you can have, it's even backyardigans, my favorite. That will make you all better" and she smiles and looks up at me and says "right mommy?" The little old lady just smiled and walked away, but I didn't know whether to laugh or just run in embarrasment... :laugh: