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elainmir
March 15th, 2005, 10:50pm
Today I have been incredibly sad. My Aunt Vicky is an angel is keeping tabs on her sis My Aunt Jean who has lung cancer. I find out how things really go on Dr. visits ,etc. My aunt J keeps saying oh I'm fine or glossing things over. I found out from Aunt V that J's cancer is stage 3. I've prayed so hard ya'll. She just has to be ok.

Aunt V & Aunt J's mom, my grandmother who passed away on March 2nd was such an angel. You never know what people treasure the most. A few years back I wrote my grandmother a letter telling her thank you for all she'd done for me my whole life. For being who she was,etc. I poured my heart into it because I wanted her to know and understand what she meant to me. My Aunt V found the letter in my Nana's bible that she read every day. She took treasured things with her to the rest home as space is very limited there and my heart was lifted that it meant so much to her that she put it in her bible that she read daily. Then there was the afghan that I bought her eons ago that said something sweet about Grandmothers and had my name stitched in it. I have long since forgotten what it said or when I gave it to her. But I remembered it vaguely. She had taken that to the rest home with her as well. It was in a bag in the closet. She wanted it nearby Aunt V said but not out so it would be ruined. I am touched that small things like a letter could mean so much to her. I believe God works in ways we will never begin to understand. I went there 3 weeks ago with the intention of seeing Aunt J and encouraging her to fight this cancer. I got to see Nana for the last time. A week later I was back attending her funeral. Without Aunt J saying please come visit, I had no plans to go .....but I did go and am thankful for that precious time I was allowed with Nana. Last year I knew Aunt J's 50th bday was coming up and I said I NEED to do this party for her. Something drove me to do it. My grandmother was able to visit with 2 of her sisters that she hardly ever sees. These days I am connected to my family in ways you cannot imagine now. And my heart is on my sleeve more than it ever was before. I am sad today. I know things are one day at a time. But in my sadness I thought hey maybe I'd say if you have a letter to write to tell someone I love you, what they mean to you,etc. then dont put it off. Call more, talk more, love more. FORGIVE more. Sorry about blabbing on guys. Just letting go of some sadness tonight.

Defenderofthefaith
March 15th, 2005, 11:24pm
:hugs:

tommy
March 15th, 2005, 11:55pm
It seems as though you are really going thru some tuff times Elaine, and I am really sorry to hear that :yesyes: but I will send some good vibes :gvibes: your way and pray for you and your lovely family hoping things get as good as they can as soon as possible :gvibes: :love:

wildbirds
March 16th, 2005, 12:04am
I am so sorry. You've lost so much but the memories you carry will always be there when you need them.

I never realized how many family members I'd lost until we went to put flowers on the graves. But reflexing the wonderful memories of each person helps a lot.

Blessings to you for being such a kind soul!

SeaAngel
March 16th, 2005, 3:22am
Elaine: My heart goes out to you over the sadness that you are experiencing, but I thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings with us. Your words are very wise. I don't think I could have survived my mother's death if I hadn't had the opportunity to share some very special moments with her those last few days. My prayers continue for your dear Aunt, as well as for you. :hugs:

Robin
March 16th, 2005, 6:30am
:grouphug: You'll be in my thoughts. :gvibes:

WLAllen219
March 16th, 2005, 7:04am
I know your heart is so heavy right now. I can't imagine such aching. Thank you for sharing your story. It moves me, and I'm sure many, to speak our hearts to those we love. So often we keep those wonderful feelings buried.
I'm sure it's comforting to see how much your heartfelt gifts and letters truely touched so many lives. You still manage to be such an inspiration to others during all you are going through. My prayers are with you and your Aunt Jean

Micheleisme
March 16th, 2005, 7:49am
I am keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Take care of yourself and just try to spend as much time with your aunt as possible.

tigress2b
March 16th, 2005, 8:43am
Elaine:

Thanks for sharing your heart with us. Your reminder to love live and laugh will not be wasted. :hugs: I will continue to keep you and your family in my thoughts wishing you only the best :gvibes:

AngelIz
March 16th, 2005, 10:19am
(((hugs))) sent to you, elainmir

You & your family will all be in my
prayers.
Please take care .

cowleyh
March 16th, 2005, 11:28am
The little things matter, don't they?

Sending prayers your way.

rojo13864
March 16th, 2005, 11:42am
Elaine all the little things mean so much to so many. They keep us connected heartwise and can make a huge difference in our lives. You meant so much to her and showed it in a thousand ways. You lifted her heart up with all that you did. The joyful caring that you bestowed on her and your family brought sunshine into her life. I wish I could hug you in person but I can't. :grouphug: :hugs:

skpaw
March 16th, 2005, 4:11pm
Elaine, it is a very sad time for you. Dealing with loss and your Aunt's illness at the same time. Just hold on to the thought that you made life better for your family by loving them and spending time with them. The letter, the afghan, those were symbols of your love. That they were kept and held dear means you were too. Hang on to those good loving memories! :hugs:

Light474
March 16th, 2005, 5:56pm
:hugs: I'm sorry. You seem like such a caring and compassionate person. I will be praying for you and your family. Sending you healing and good vibes your way. :gvibes: :gvibes:

elainmir
March 16th, 2005, 6:26pm
You guys are awesome. I spent alot of time online looking at specific treatment options for my aunt...if any of you have experience or have a relative who has experience with a cancer drug called IRESSA please pm me. Sometimes it just hits you that what you thought was important in your life is really not. My outlook has been lately....what can I do to make it better for someone else? Nana would want me to be a better person. I'm at peace that she is gone, I guess my sadness is that I MISS her so damn much. Its like a light thats been on forever and suddenly its gone......you notice it with everything you do. But thank you guys for the pm's and posts it does help. More than you know. :)