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laurenk503
February 12th, 2005, 8:40pm
My heart is broken and tears are pouring down my face as I ask my friends at OLS to please say a prayer for my ex and the father of my son. He is a drug addict and I have been through hell for the past six years. I had to kick him out and he went into rehab. I haven't seen him in about five or six months. The last time I did, I was traumatized because he lost sooo much weight and was not the man I had fell in love with. He was in a shelter and supposedly got kicked out. I have been through so much taking him back, giving him chance after chance and he just put me and my son through sooo much. Well, he gets violent when he is desperate for drugs, shelter or whatever and I am scared to let him in my house. He isn't normally a bad person though and I feel bad. He would not leave my house and was banging at my door, my windows, and crying and crying saying he had nowhere to go. He also said he was going to kill himself because he can't fight this anymore, he is too tired. If I let him in it would be BAD! He lays on the couch, can't work and I just can't take care of him anymore- he needs to help himself. I had to have the police come and take him away. I didn't have him arrested or anything. But I feel so heartless, but I know I can't help him. I am soooo sad today!!!! I hope he found a place to stay, his dad's or something. I just want him to get well. Please say a prayer for him tonite or whenever, I do believe miracles can happen. Thank you. :worry:

livandjulsmom
February 12th, 2005, 8:48pm
I am so sorry that you are going through this and that he is too. Sometimes doing the right thing is really hard. You do not sound heartless to me, in fact you sound so right about things, he needs to help himself.
Thinking of you and praying for you both.

MrsM
February 12th, 2005, 9:48pm
Girl, I have been there!!! I used to have a crack head for an exboyfriend. Went through all the crap, the lies, the suicide guilt trips, getting ripped off, having everything I owned stolen, etc. And I know he was a good person when he wasn't using, but it got so bad. I would take him back and take him back, finally had enough. So I know what you're going through. If you ever want to talk, PM me anytime. :grouphug:

Maineiac
February 13th, 2005, 12:04am
I am so sorry you and your boy are having to go through this. One thing popped out at me in your post...he threatened suicide. That in itself can get him comitted to a hospital and from the way it sounds that may be a lifesaver for him. You can call the police or mental health crisis hotline in your state and ask to have him evaluated for suicidal ideations. What they'll do is take him to the emergency room and evaluate him...hopefully admit him for psychiatric care. It is possible that his drug abuse could be a way of self medication of an underlying mental illness. They may also have him go to a substance abuse unit.

I'm thinking of you and sympathize with what you are going through...it just plain ole sucks. You sound like such a nice woman to have given him chance after chance...

SeaAngel
February 13th, 2005, 1:59am
laurenk503: I watched one of my sisters go through that with her husband and it was so heartbreaking. My prayers go out for him, you and your son. May he find the help he needs to find peace in his life. :hugs:

AngelIz
February 13th, 2005, 1:05pm
laurenk503,

I'm very sorry about all you have been through, I really
hope things get better for you soon, you will be
in my prayers.

Your EX will be in my prayers also, I will pray that he
gets the help he needs, and gets his life straightened
out, before it's too late.


Please take care.

laurenk503
February 13th, 2005, 5:59pm
Thanks to all my friends at OLS. I just was feeling so sad and needed to share what I was going through. My ex is in rehab now. I called his dad and he did end up there so they immediately got him into rehab- that is all I know. At least I know he is getting help and is alive, I just hope that they give him mental health help also. They always treat the addiction but not the cause of the addiction or the trigger. BUT thank God he is okay and thank you all for your prayers and well-wishes. I will continue to move on with my life but I will never in my heart be able to give up on him. Thanks again!!! :grouphug:

Maineiac
February 13th, 2005, 6:04pm
I'm so very glad to hear that he's in rehab, I hope they refer him to out-patient mental health services upon discharge. He's very fortunate to have someone like you that still cares for him...you're a good woman.

laurenk503
February 13th, 2005, 6:14pm
Thanks Maineiac. I feel sad though because he thinks I don't love him or care because I wouldn't let him in and called the police. He yelled that He now knows I don't love him and never did and that I turned my back on him. I didn't though. I just don't know what to do. I do love him though and always will. He is my soulmate and I will probably never meet anyone again that made me feel the way he did when he was not high. I just hope that someday I will talk to him again and he will be clean. Even if he is not with me, I just want him to be happy. What hurts me is that he doesn't think I love him because of what I did. Maybe someday he will know.

Current
February 13th, 2005, 7:17pm
As long as he is on drugs, he will not be able to appreciate your love, his son, or anything positive in his life.

I hope the rehab works for him.

But if it doesn't, you need to think about yourself and your son.

He may be your soulmate, but you still need to do what is right for you and your son. As long as he is doing drugs, he will not be able to understand that you love him, and even if by some chance he does understand, he won't be able to make the choice between you and your son, or the drugs.

I have a candle lit for you.

wildbirds
February 13th, 2005, 7:30pm
You did the right thing by not allowing him in your home! Think of your young Son. He doesn't need to be around any of that. He needs a chance to grow up healthy and you need the chance to raise your son in a loving safe home.

Keep in mind people on drugs will say and do anything and everything in order for you to feel sorry for them and do for them and in your case he will never be able to make it on his own if you keep taking care of him or do for him. He needs cold reality so that he can learn to do for himself and get a real life.


I am praying for you!

Txsweeper
February 13th, 2005, 8:29pm
I'm sorry you have had to go through this, but you sound very smart and you have made the right decision for both you and your son. Good luck, God Bless.

jofo3511
February 13th, 2005, 8:57pm
I lost my 21 year old son to heroin addiction 3 years ago. He just got out of a drug rehab and hung himself 8 days later. Drug addiction is bad news. I feel for you. Good luck -will keep you in my prayers. We also had to throw him out but let him come home after he successfully completed rehab. I have alot of guilt about that but I do have 4 other kids I had to think about.