View Full Version : The Reason I'm Not Winning

Scary Snarky toaD
November 14th, 2004, 3:15am
The reason I am not winning is just because of you
You sweep all day, you sweep all night and sweep all weekend too
You enter for your family, you enter for your friends
If you could sweep instead of sleep your sweeps would never end.

Your goldfish all have gmails, as if each one could read
And how your dog types out his name must be a feat to see
No wonder astronomical are odds like this to me
Much easier to break the bank or win a lottery

My only hope is angels, and I am praying to them now
To wing my lonely ONE entry above the madding crowd
For only power from On High can change One-Entry Weepers
Into Winners who can sneer at all those Multi-sweepers.

So why am I not winning? You should not be surprised
Each Sweepaholic has me beat at least by 50 times!
But I don't cry, I know the Wheel of Fortune keeps on turning,
And some who shudder now in cold in summer will be burning.

Be careful what you wish for, or what you wish you're winning
For gold is cold and you'll get old, but love can keep you grinning.

:love: :gvibes: :grouphug:

November 14th, 2004, 3:20am
Your posts are so awesome, and they really make me giggle.. Thank you for being so entertaining!

November 14th, 2004, 1:28pm
Toad, I love it!

November 14th, 2004, 1:43pm
If it makes you feel any better, all my major wins have been on one time entries (where I only enter 1 time for myself)..... oh and my cat can to type! :laugh:


:jump: :jump:

November 14th, 2004, 1:49pm
GREAT POST now i know why i am not winning thanks for clearing that up you rock toad :royal:

November 14th, 2004, 1:50pm
Your posts are always so clever and creative! And for the record, I only enter for myself, so I'm in the same boat.

November 14th, 2004, 2:01pm
I have over a thousand in my sweeps --
How does anyone get time to enter twice?
Guess I could buy some goldfish --
But then --
I'd get to sweeping and forget to feed them.
This was good, and honest --
Thanks for the lift.

:laugh: :laugh:

November 14th, 2004, 2:04pm
Good one!

November 14th, 2004, 2:11pm
:laugh: :joker: :bow: :clap: :encore: :hugs:

November 14th, 2004, 2:15pm
oh toad, you are so funny!! :jump:

November 14th, 2004, 2:20pm
I have over a thousand in my sweeps --
How does anyone get time to enter twice?
Guess I could buy some goldfish --
But then --
I'd get to sweeping and forget to feed them.
This was good, and honest --
Thanks for the lift.

:laugh: :laugh:

I know I barely have time to enter them all just for me, forget anyone else. :laugh:

As always Toad you have marvelous posts darling! :gvibes:

November 14th, 2004, 2:39pm
Bravo Toad!! Once again, you have read my mind! My family is all connected by one ISP- so it's only one entry at all for all of us!

The Grandma
November 14th, 2004, 2:49pm
Now I feel so guilty...Oh, wait-I haven't won anything either! : )

November 14th, 2004, 2:51pm
That is too funny! And sooooo true!

November 14th, 2004, 3:05pm
So funny, so true and so well said! :bow:

November 14th, 2004, 3:14pm
I'll sweep now

November 14th, 2004, 3:21pm
So that is why i am not winning too? because there is but one of me?

Very clever you are Toad. Thank you!

November 14th, 2004, 3:23pm
Toad's Complaint = instant classic!

Apologies for a Weird Al Sweepovich response...

So I win because I cheat,
And typing fast unfair?

I take that challenge gamely
And scrounge for prizes daily,
Because I wake up early,
It's my fault you feel squirrely?

It serves you right to suffer,
And when I lose, me too.
That random fickly finger,
Isn't pointing bad at you,
If me that comes up lucky,
It doesn't make you not.
Just wipe away your tears,
And dry your lips of...
S'not being persecuted
Your number comes up not,
It's just I enter often
And therefore win a lot.

Keep tossing those fountain coins,
And making private wishes,
Don't expect any change back, tho
And don't pester the little fishes.
The universe stays balanced,
Yet we may sometimes teeter,
And Earth will keep on spining,
While we're stuck on our seater,

Say Hi There! UPS Man,
What you got for me?
And if he says "aw, nuthin,"
Let it be, let it be.
Your Hall of Fame turn's coming,
Keep happy chants a'humming.
It's all about the timing,
Ssssst that noisome whining!

Eyeball all those prizes.
Unwrap them in your mind,
Visualize that affie!
Don't say that I'm unkind,
To scoop up all the good ones,
Just count your many game plays,
As worthy consolations.

And what about "free shipping"
Or ten bucks off a hundred?
That trial download screensaver,
So many wins uncounted,
Or the free cellular ringtone,
Even if you lack the phone,
I understand your message,
But quibble with the tone.

Buck up dear spunky tadpole,
Quit lurking 'neath the alge,
Just eat a bug, avoid a bird,
Don't quibble my analogy,
Carry on, don't sweat the wait,
That itching isn't wrong,
Those bumps aren't imperfectioins,
This *is* a perfect world,
If you'll accept my ode,
Your gills last gasp ain't failing,

You're just becoming a Toad.

November 14th, 2004, 3:36pm
:laugh: :tongue4: :grin5: :clap:

November 14th, 2004, 3:58pm
lol, that is so cute!

Scary Snarky toaD
November 14th, 2004, 4:03pm
Toad's Complaint = instant classic!

Apologies for a Weird Al Sweepovich response...

I always enjoy your posts, George. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

November 14th, 2004, 4:04pm
So Funny Toady! I agree with everyone here I don't have time to enter for anyone else. Well....
I have entered a couple for my daughter. :shhh: BUT!!! There are good reasons! :bow: She has her own email that I used - but just doesn't have time with kids and school and all..... :worry: OMG please don't hold it against me :cry:
I really try and be good :halo:

November 14th, 2004, 4:17pm

November 14th, 2004, 4:18pm
Great posts.... I enter for ME and me only... like the daily spam (100+) is not enough in my own Outlook inbox, I do not have the time to clean out another.. rather spend MY time SWEEPING for ME :smile9:

November 14th, 2004, 5:15pm
Haha! Nicely done. People who don't take the time to enter sweeps do not deserve to win them. So please stop entering for your immediate 326 family members. :mad2:

"My DNBFPP (Dear neighbor's best friend's potted plant) just won a new car!"


November 14th, 2004, 5:25pm
You have inspired me. Today I will sign up my 5 ferrets, 2 birds, 2 cats and the damned dog for email accounts. I'll be winning in no time!


November 14th, 2004, 5:25pm
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Very cute!