Fear of Driving?????

[euphmansgurl]

Does anyone here have a fear of driving? I'm 22 and do not have my license. I've only driven on backroads and neighborhoods where no other cars are. I'm just so afraid I'll kill someone or myself. Does anyone else have this problem or had this problem and conquered it and HOW?? I feel like a giant loser sometimes because of this.

[ladysusan]

I'm afraid to drive in bad weather, but other than that I love to drive and usually prefer to drive than have someone else do it.

Have you checked with driving schools? Explain to them your problem and they might have a program for people who are frightened.

Maybe this will help, good luck and it's not only you, I'm sure there are many other people out there that are the same way.

Good Luck! :)

[Stanza_Rae]

You are not alone. I am 38 and have only had my drivers licence for 18 months. I finally took Drivers School Classes and got my it. But I have issues still with driving, in fact just saturday was the first time I drove in almost 6 months. I live in Phoenix and the drivers here scare me to death! I get anxiety attacks when I even think about driving.

But on a positive note. I feel good knowing that if I have to drive, I can... I think I will enjoy driving more often when (positive attitude- not if) we move to Walla Walla... pop 29k

[carolpie]

No, but don't like our freeways here. What might help for you is to have someone be with you while you drive till you feel comfortable. I do this with all my kids. I think people need lots of practice time and as you become more confident, you should be okay. How do you get around now? Most people need to be able to drive. Are there reasons why you are worried? Do you tend to worry about other things alot, too, or just this? With driving-practice makes perfect. Maybe not perfect, but it makes a world of difference. Going to driving school is a good idea, too. Don't feel like a loser-you aren't. It just takes time. Can you find someone to coach you?

[SweepingBeauty]

I was scared of driving when I started, mostly because I had no practice and an unreliable car.
In driver's ed, I used to drive in the graveyard, because my skills needed to be practiced where I would not hurt anyone. :laugh:
I did not have my license until I was 23. Now in my late 30's, I have had a lot of chances to drive and often drive 2-3 hours away roundtrip by myself. I have a car of my own that is reliable. I could not live here with out having a car and driving. There is no mass transportation.
Maybe you can find someone you can be relaxed with to teach you on some low traveled roads. You need to address you fears. Get some help if you think your feelings have the better of you. I wish you luck, it can be scary, but it is so much more exciting to have independence.

[wooby3]

I didnt get my license til I was 19 cuz I was scared. Now look out! I LOVE to drive and know how to whip my way thru city roads like an old pro. (Obeying speed laws of course)
I have a friend whose mother never learned to drive, she's nearing 75 and has never driven a car!

:scoot:

[DCNY]

You are not alone. I am 38 and have only had my drivers licence for 18 months. I finally took Drivers School Classes and got my it. But I have issues still with driving, in fact just saturday was the first time I drove in almost 6 months. I live in Phoenix and the drivers here scare me to death! I get anxiety attacks when I even think about driving.

But on a positive note. I feel good knowing that if I have to drive, I can... I think I will enjoy driving more often when (positive attitude- not if) we move to Walla Walla... pop 29k

I AM AFRAID TOO
I AM GETTING LESSONS NOW BECAUSE I KNOW THAT I HAVE TO DRIVE BUT IT DOES SCARE ME
BEST OF LUCK TO US ALL I HOPE WE CAN GET OVER IT OR AT LEAST LEARN TO DEAL WITH IT
:gvibes:

[speck135les]

36 i ace the written part and freeze behind the wheel.

[euphmansgurl]

To answer your question about who drives me around now, it's my very supportive husband. We work together so we can ride to and from work together so that helps A LOT! I think it's more than just a fear of driving for me, it's a HUGE fear of death. I used to lay in bed at night when I lived with my parents and have anxiety attacks thinking about someday that I'm going to die. When we stay at my grandfather's house in SC, I can't sleep because I'm afraid I'll never wake up because he has gas logs but no carbon monoxide detector. I have issues, I know. But the driving thing is the one that gets in the way the most.

[tigress2b]

I DID vote for you today!! Good Luck. I have to drive for a living so to speak. I cover parts of Iowa, two counties of NW Indiana, 1/3 of Missouri and all of IL. I do have my moments worrying about driving. Drove through some major storms etc. But the tollway from IL to IN and back can be BRUTAL!!!!

Ive been in a few acccidents over my yrs of driving (21 yrs). But nothing really major. Stuff happens. I was more likely to fall on my own sidewalk today going out to meet my mom this morning!! Note to self, buy salt!

Anyway girl, I strongly suggest you work through this. These types of fears tend to mesastisize (pardon my spelling) just remember baby steps and surround your self with people who will support you in over coming this!

Good luck!!!

[guruwan2b]

My sister was in a bad wreck just before I turned 16. She wasn't killed, but she was temporarily paralyzed. As a result I was scared to drive and didn't get my driver's license until I was 20. I actually bought a car and had my stepmom drive me to take the test in MY car.
To this day I am not one of those people who will just go out for a drive. I have to have a destination and reason for going.
Taking a school is a good idea.
Kim

[carp911]

I hate to drive, even avoided getting my license til I was 28. Within a year of getting my license I drove the alcan highway (drove 3500 miles from Alaska to Minneapolis in 5 days). Take it baby steps at a time and you'll get more comfortable with it. Good luck.

[CouponAholic]

ME

I don't drive. I have a phobia, and I'm close to 30. I've worked since I was 14 and never been late/missed work b/c I didn't have a ride, and I've never had to take a bus.

Everyone is just use to it I guess :)

[euphmansgurl]

It's so nice to know there's others with this problem. Thank you all for responding =)

[Fidget]

i waited to get mine because i was scared. Ive had my license for 41/2 years now and have only been involved in one accident. And it wasnt my fault!!!! I just got tired of having to bum rides and tooling around on my bike. I figured it was safer in the long run to be able to drive a car then ride my bike around in the dark . Also, one time my friend broke her leg and I had to drive.. i didnt have my license and i was scared s**tless!! I got her to the hospital but decided it was time to get the ole license. Check with driving schools if you need too. Also if you are afraid youll hurt someone look for a compact car.. if youre afraid of getting hurt drive what ive got - and 87 buick electra stationwagon nicknamed "The Beast" :laugh:

[SweepingBeauty]

The thing you need to remember is that Death comes at the end of your LIFE.

Perhaps you would agree that right now you are not living, consumed by fears of death is preventing you from having a "normal" life, whatever that means to you.

I do not fear death. It always comes at the end of LIFE and I refuse to let it reign over my LIVING! Good Luck to you! Seek Peace!

[euphmansgurl]

Thanks so much for the vote Tigress =)

[caseycupcake]

Don't feel bad about not driving euphmansgurl. I'm nearly 50 and never got my license. I had my permit when I was 18 but I was a nervous wreck all the time. I figured it was just best for all concerned that I stay off the road. What I always loved about my DH was that he accepted the fact that I won't drive and he was the only guy I ever dated who never said "Oh, you'll drive one of these days!"

Just keep your chin up. Look on the bright side. See how much you save by not owning a car? Gas, insurance? It all adds up!

It has always been my philosophy that no one should be forced to drive or have kids!

Happy sweeping!

[shellockjohn]

Omg I thought I was the only one! I'm 21 and have gotten my lerners and taken the classes but I still can't get myself to go take the final test and get my licenses! All my friends and family act like its no big deal to drive but to me its like the most horrible thing in the whole world. Its nice to know I'm not the only one who feels this way.

[auntputz]

I'm scared too! I'm 27 and have no liscense.

[Indy]

The BEST way to get over the fear of driving....is to JUST DO IT!

Plan a trip to someplace local. The next day, venture a little farther away...and continue to do so. Eventually-you'll gain the self confidence you need to master it. Driving represents independence to me....if I were not able to drive myself to where I need to go...I would be totally dependent on others-and that just isn't in my nature! :cool2:

[euphmansgurl]

I always enter my husband in any contests for cars since I don't have a license. Same with trips that include a rental car :)

[kbsocial]

My sister had that same fear. She didn't get her license for the longest time for the exact reasons you said, afraid she would kill herself or someone else. After much driving practice with our ever so patient father, she realized that she could do it and that there was nothing to be afraid of. She is a safe driver, no tickets, no accidents. You can do it (if you so choose!), you have the power :gvibes:

[tiffnat]

both my grandmother and mother-in-law never learned to drive. I will not drive at night or on an interstate unless absolutely necessary. My daughter is 15 and studying for her learners permit, but she is not too anxious to drive also. I'm not too anxious for her to. Wish there was better public transportation available, especially in smaller towns. :)

[covergerl]

I am 28 and have had my permit for over a year. I use to practice sporadically on my Boyfriend's car but now he got a stickshift and I am totally freaked out by it. It's bad enough I was a nervous wreck before but now I can't even start the car.

[Defenderofthefaith]

I've been driving for over 20 years and I am still scared! People drive like maniacs around here. I didn't use the expressways for like 10 years recently and still hate driving! I have a friend who will be 37 this year and she's never driven(walks/takes public transportation) You're not alone! :)

[udalum]

I hate driving on busy highways. I usually take the backroads, even if it means a few minutes longer of a drive. And, I am terrified we will hit a deer.

Sounds like the job of a psychologist, or a great driving instructor to help you overcome your fear. Psychologists are expensive-- if it is too expensive for you, check to see if any of the universities in your area have some sort of an outpatient program run by PhD or PsyD students. Chances are they all have to be supervised by a licensed psychologist (I don't know the licensing rules in your state).

I imagine you can get this cured. If not, you are still young. You may want to look at living in an area that has great and safe public transportation. I like Philly during the day, but probably would not feel comfortable on the Subway at night. Washington DC is nice, too. I have ridden on the metro there after dark (but not too late).

Good luck with your driving! Let us know if you actually go out and feel comfortable with it. And, buy a safe car so it makes you even more comfortable!

[wildbirds]

Reading the book Embraced by the light by Betty J Eadie might help you get over your fear of death. I read it and loaned it out to about a dozen other people who all lost their fear of dying. The author does have a website if you want to do a search.

I've always driven but the busy highways still kind of freak me out. I was bummed last week, I lost a real good job because I don't know how to drive a stick shift. When I was 14 I not only wrecked my parents Blazer but also wrecked the house because I drove into it. It was a stick shift and I've never driven another one since.

[deborah62]

I love driving except for one thing,that is getting on the interstate,once I am on it I am fine,its the getting on it that terrifies me,when you have to merge with the traffic my knuckles are white from gripping to hard,I dont know where I got this fear from,so I dont do it unless I have to.It a phobia I cant get rid of.

[Rikostan]

I don't have a fear of driving so much as a hatred of it :)

I have to commute 50 miles each way to work and the things I see drive me crazy.
I drive a back country road for most of the way. It is a nice straight road with a 55MPH speedlimit, but sooo many times I see people doing 35 with a huge line of cars behind them.
If you can't do the speedlimit, you probably shouldn't drive.

As far as the fear goes, I think it is pretty much like anything else, you just have to forget your fear and just do it. As time goes on, your fear will diminish.
Driving is not all that hard, you just need to stay focused on what you are doing.

[lfw1la]

I don't like driving at night or long-distances on unfamiliar roads. I drive around town all the time, even at night. I'm fine in daylight driving the 30 minutes to my parents or the 45 minutes to my sister's house, different story at night. I have trouble judging distance at night and don't like to travel along unlit highways. The anxiety starts to build up.
I also won't drive further than an hour or so away during the day. About 2 summers ago, I drove the 6 hours with 3 kids to meet a friend and her children in Gulf Shores Alabama, I was certain that if I sucked it up and did it, I wouldn't be afraid anymore. I made it, but would never do it again, I was just a nervous wreck on the road.
Sometimes, if my husband is with me, I'll drive in unfamiliar areas a little while, then when I've had enough I get him to drive. He's used to it by now.
You're not alone. :)

[IVANA VIN]

i must confess, i am 36 and have had my license since i was 18 and i drive everyday, however i have a terrible phobia of driving on the highway, so i never have, i even have nightmares that i have somehow ended up on a busy highway and start to panic. i have been told that this is a form of agoraphobia (sp?) - i also avoid driving in the city. its really quite embarrasing to me - i know that someday i will have to face this and get over it but i'm just not in any hurry now. -----lynn

[euphmansgurl]

It is really embarrassing for me to IVANA VIN! Especially when I make a new friend or something, and they want to meet up somewhere, just the girls and I have to have my husband drop me off and pick me up. I feel like a kid when I'm 22, married, have my own house and job and want to be a mother soon. I feel like I am gonna have to do it for our (future) kids. Charlotte isn't small, you can't walk everywhere.

[Tanasi]

My advice is spend more time behind the wheel, driving just where you are comfortable (neighborhood, backroads, etc.) Experience driving makes you a better and safer driver. Then, as time goes by, just keep reaching out, driving on streets with more traffic. You can repeat the same route, learning it by heart. As you gain experience driving your vision while driving improves, as does your control of the car. Then you'll feel like you are in control of the situation more and it will become easier for you.

[hudson9610]

I drive but will not drive into the city the highways freak me out
but am trying to overcome this by adding a mile each week

hope it helps you

[oldroses]

I learned to drive when I was 16 in the mid 1970s in a huge tank of a car! That thing was like driving a boat! I was very nervous about my ability and in turn ran over curbs and embarrassed the heck out of myself with several near miss fender scrapes, but eventually got the hang of it! Not to mention it was so much easier when I got a smaller (and cooler) car soon therafter...my dream car; a 1965 Mustang! :cool3: I also lived in Southern California where no one walks anywhere and the buses are few and far between. Driving there was a trial by fire, and frankly you just don't think about whether you can do it or not, you just DO it!

Everyone here posted great suggestions; seeing a counselor, taking it slowly, to practice in vacant parking lots or cemetaries (I practiced at the local university in the large empty parking lot in the afternoon on weekends) and to drive with people who will support you.

But I also wanted to say that you also need to look at probably the two most significant reasons for driving:
INDEPENDENCE; being able to go wherever you want whenever you want and not having to wait for a ride or to be trapped at home.
and
FREEDOM; there is nothing like having the radio on and the open road beckoning you to travel somewhere you've never been before! It is Pure Bliss!

Good Luck! We're all rooting for you! :gvibes:

[midwestnurse]

Those of you with fears might want to consider asking your doctor for an anxiolytic medication or anti-depressant, which also works well for anxiety. Your doctor may be able to wean you off the medication once you become a more experienced driver and gain confidence. Good luck to you.

[euphmansgurl]

Thanks for the support and advice everyone. It'll take time, but I know I eventually want to drive.

[DCNY]

My advice is spend more time behind the wheel, driving just where you are comfortable (neighborhood, backroads, etc.) Experience driving makes you a better and safer driver. Then, as time goes by, just keep reaching out, driving on streets with more traffic. You can repeat the same route, learning it by heart. As you gain experience driving your vision while driving improves, as does your control of the car. Then you'll feel like you are in control of the situation more and it will become easier for you.


you are sooooo right!
after this thread started, i really started to think about it and i began to drive. i drive my BIL'S mini van and i am not afraid anymore. it did take a while but, i am doing it
i have even made my road test appointment
it is on august 13th friday the thirteenth! LOL
please say a little prayer for me that i dont get so nervous during the road test that i do something dumb.
thanks to all
diane

[arouet]

euphmansgurl,

Don't feel bad you aren't alone. I was 27 before I finally started driving. I think the turning point was when I was on my way to work at a department store, on the bus, and the Santa Claus across the aisle wouldn't quit hitting on me. That was sooooo wrong! So I decided that there were worse things than driving.

To this day, I don't like driving, but I do love the independence it gives me, especially scince I have to do a lot of driving for work. The fear gradually gets better the more you do it.

Good luck!