View Full Version : Worried like CRAZY!!!!
January 15th, 2004, 2:54pm
Hi everyone. Just looking for a little support with something. My aunt told me that her daughter (my little cousin, but she's been like a sister to me all my life) was caught writing a note in class (she's 13) and the teacher took it and informed my aunt that it said she wanted to kill herself. Now I had a rough time as a teen as well, but I never said or did anything like that. How do you know if it's just talk? I'm so worried, she's my little girl! And she's coming to stay with me and my husband this weekend and I'm not sure if I should talk to her about it or not. I'm just really scared. Any one have any advice?
January 15th, 2004, 2:59pm
If I were you I would find a gentle way to talk to her about it. Did they refer this to the school counselor? I'm glad she has someone who cares so much. Bless you!
January 15th, 2004, 3:01pm
I believe you should take any talk of suicide seriously. Get her some counseling.
Definitely talk to her. Try to get her to open up.
January 15th, 2004, 3:02pm
The one thing I would tell you, talk to her! Obviously something must be bothering her for her to want to end her life.
An extended family member of mine moved to FL. with her grandparents, they had custody of her, and she HATED it there, all her friends were back in MI.
Well, she met this kid that worshipped the ground she walked on and together, they decided to kill themselves. She drove the car, they crashed into someones home and he died instantly, she lived w/o a scratch and is now 16 years old and looking to spend the rest of her live in prison for manslaghter.
My point, you should always take something like this seriously. If she does follow through with it, you would always regret not talking to her. Maybe she will confide in you and you can help her.
January 15th, 2004, 3:02pm
They did refer her to a counceler but she seems fine in her sessions. Her parents recently got divorced and it's been reeeal ugly. Her dad makes her feel worthless and isn't speaking to him now, that's why she's staying with me this weekend. I've just never had to deal with this with anyone.
January 15th, 2004, 3:07pm
I would be worried too. You definitely need to talk to her about this, maybe you are the only person who can get her to spill about how she's really feeling. I hope everything is okay for you and for her.
January 15th, 2004, 3:08pm
When she is staying with you make sure you point out to her all the things that make her special and how much people do love her. Going through a divorce is really hard on teens and tweens. Let her know you will never judge her, but always love her. Good luck!
January 15th, 2004, 3:09pm
suicide talk/notes should never be taken lightly by anyone euphmansgurl --- definately talk with the young lass about what is going on ---- make it very obvious you are aware of the note situation and see if there is any way you can help ---- your 13 year old cousin is reaching out for help and since she will be with you its your obligation ( since you love her like a sister ) to help her thru these difficult times
edited 311 P
if after you have spoken to her you think that further help is needed for the young lady please make sure she gets it
January 15th, 2004, 3:13pm
Yes, by all means speak to her about it. If your close, she will open up to you. 13 is a hard age and she will need someone close to talk to about it. Talk to her like an adult and that will help a lot. She needs to know that although things may look bad right now, there is bright happy times just around the corner.
When I was in 7th grade we had a boy in my class that also made comments that he was planning on killing himself. Nobody took it serious and laughed and made fun of him. He went home and shot himself and he ended his life.
So you need to take her serious. She'll open up to you and it will help her get over this bad time
Blessings to you and your family.
January 15th, 2004, 3:30pm
Thank you for all the kind words everyone. I'm going to try my hardest to help her, and really show her this weekend how special I think she is. I appreciate everyones input. Thank you all so much, you're the greatest :)
January 15th, 2004, 4:30pm
There can be any number of reasons for people to contemplate suicide;make sure that she is aware of how much you love her and how she enriches your life.
January 15th, 2004, 9:15pm
It is so sad when things like this note are not followed up on. Your cousin may need to see a counsellor for a while. Lots of people have a visit or two and call it done. Since things are messed up at home she may need to talk to someone outside the family. I hope she will be able to talk to you about her feelings, but don't be offended if she needs someone else who is not so close to her.
The most important thing is that she gets help before anything bad happens. Make sure her father knows what his meanness has done. He should not be allowed to continue to make her feel this way. Try to distract her with outings, some fun and a long ride could be what she needs to get her talking. Some teens end up on medication for depression. Not my favorite idea, but a big step up from hurting herself.
January 16th, 2004, 1:18am
ALWAYS take a suicide threat seriously. One of my best friends took her own life in the summer of 2002 and it was absolutely devastating. We never saw it coming. Your niece is crying out for help and she needs someone in her life--a responsible, caring adult--who's willing to advocate for her and help her get her needs met. Too often parents in the middle of a divorce get so wrapped up in their own pain that they forget how much their children might be suffering. You have a chance to step in and make a real difference in someone's life.
I hope you don't get the idea that I'm lecturing you, because that's not my intention. See, I have a pretty unique perspective on this, because not only have I lost someone to suicide, but I've seriously contemplated it myself. I had a very rough adolesence and I can tell you that if it hadn't been for a few people who cared enough to help me (and a little medication) I would without a doubt be dead now.
Good luck to you and best wishes. If you want to talk further about this please feel free to email or PM me. :gvibes:
P.S. It sounds as if professional help is definitely warranted in this case. Skpaw is right on target in that regard!
January 16th, 2004, 10:27am
Ok...........to me there is a fine line here. You don't want to go overboard with drawing attention to it but you have to take it seriously. Kids who feel a lot of pressure sometimes go the way you don't want them to. If you two connect well then it will be a little easier. Just make sure she has a good time this weekend with you and make sure she is happy. You may not want to start off talking to her about suicide. Test the waters first by talking about how much she is loved. If things go well then work your way into deeper conversation. Just make sure she has a good time with lots of love and make sure before she leaves that you wouldn't know what to do without her. Good luck!! I'll send some good thoughts your way too.
January 16th, 2004, 10:35am
Thanks Nancy...That's exactly what I'm planning on, I'm not jumping head first into a suicide conversation. I also want her to know that she can call me anytime that she needs to talk, that it's best to get stuff out then hold it all in if there's problems going on.
January 16th, 2004, 10:51am
I'm very sorry to hear about your cousin. In working in the juvenile probation department, I know teens these days are faced with so many problems and obstacles, ones that we never had. I know I will get flack over this, but statistically speaking, those who tell someone they are going to commit suicide don't usually do it, they tell people this as a way of seeking attention. This isn't my opinion, this is statistics. I do think you need to be very concerned about her, this was a private note, I wouldn't confront her about it, but I would take more time to talk to her. She obviously is feeling hopeless, she is having a hard time dealing with a problem, and needs people to know she cares.